Please help me!

[nursejulee]

I am not doing well. I'm so scared right now. I'm having extreme anxiety and it's not getting better. I was diagnosed with general anxiety and PTSD. No one understands me at all. Friday is a tough day. My mom was murdered 26 years ago by a family member but that's not the whole reason I'm going through this right now. I'm saying that because this happens a lot. I hate depression and anxiety!!!! I am so angry that I have this. And please don't think I'm horrible but I'm jealous of people who don't.
I just feel scared and unsafe. I'm worried about everything. My mom was taken away suddenly and I'm constantly worried my husband will die. I fear everything including dying, illness, growing old, and everything else.
I never had kids (which is probably a blessing for that child) but I regret it so much. I have no family except for my husband. I limit my friendships because I don't trust easily.
I feel so alone right now. And I feel no one gets it.
Please respond! I just don't want to feel alone.
I have taken 2 Klonipin today and it's not helping.
I have counseling tomorrow but she doesn't seem to be much help. She wants me to write a letter to the man who murdered my mom to tell him how if affected me. I don't need to write a damn letter!!!
I don't want to keep reliving this plus he tried to kill me that night too and I would rather not communicate.