purplehills21
08-18-2014, 04:37 PM
Hey Everyone,
I'm new to the forums :) So this post will be long as I need to explain everything. :)
Basically I have been suffering from anxiety and panic attacks for 2 years. Its only been now that I have actually gone to get professional help. Due to other circumstances that have gone on with me lately, my anxiety has become worse and I've also become depressed again. The last time I was depressed was when I was harassed at Uni just under 2 years ago. I've recently been harassed again. Although it was for a shorter period of time, its been worse. The depression started up again 3 months ago and seemed mild but looking back at it, I was gradually feeling worse and worse. I am still being harassed for money I do not rightfully owe. The person who did bully me out of my house told our landlord that I was mentally unstable. Loads of stuff was said and people were turning against me because of my anxiety and anger. I began feeling more depressed to the point where I didn't know where my life is going. I still don't know where it is going and I am in massive limbo right now. I am not talking to my parents properly because I feel I have let them down and that I've been the massive problem child as I have Asperger's and the mental health issues yet my brothers don't. I feel I can't talk to my family anymore when I am in this state of mind. I live a 4 hour drive from them. Moving back would make me much more depressed as my freedom would be lost. My independence is so important to me and it would be overcrowded too. I'm scared I'll never be able to get on living with anyone after my uni experience. I feel uni has been a failure for me as I have left depressed and anxious. I almost didn't go to my graduation as I was crying from panic attacks and I was shaking so much I had it in my mind I was having a heart attack or a stroke.
I had to quit my job after a day due to panic attacks, upset stomach and depression. I can't stop peeing, I've been worrying about my future far too much, am getting irritable and angry very easily. Hobbies I loved such as karate and Art have been affected. I was very dedicated to karate but stopped going in February due to panic attacks and haven't been able to go since. I want to be an Art Therapist and am trying to do therapeutic art at the moment, but I am losing patience so easily and am not happy with any of my outcomes. My motivation levels have been low and when I went on holiday recently, my parents picked up on the fact I wasn't myself anymore.
I've been referred to a CPN by the doctors, but they haven't contacted me and there's a waiting list to be seen to. I don't know how long I'll have to wait but will be ringing up tomorrow. I have some great mates helping me out, but I'm even guilt tripping myself there as they have helped me so much and I don't know how to thank them.
I need advice on how to talk to my parents the next time I ring them. I know they're worried, but I feel like a problem and that I need to get away so that they don't have that problem. I've been so up and down its unreal.
Anyways, thought I'd share,
Peace,
purplehills21
I'm new to the forums :) So this post will be long as I need to explain everything. :)
Basically I have been suffering from anxiety and panic attacks for 2 years. Its only been now that I have actually gone to get professional help. Due to other circumstances that have gone on with me lately, my anxiety has become worse and I've also become depressed again. The last time I was depressed was when I was harassed at Uni just under 2 years ago. I've recently been harassed again. Although it was for a shorter period of time, its been worse. The depression started up again 3 months ago and seemed mild but looking back at it, I was gradually feeling worse and worse. I am still being harassed for money I do not rightfully owe. The person who did bully me out of my house told our landlord that I was mentally unstable. Loads of stuff was said and people were turning against me because of my anxiety and anger. I began feeling more depressed to the point where I didn't know where my life is going. I still don't know where it is going and I am in massive limbo right now. I am not talking to my parents properly because I feel I have let them down and that I've been the massive problem child as I have Asperger's and the mental health issues yet my brothers don't. I feel I can't talk to my family anymore when I am in this state of mind. I live a 4 hour drive from them. Moving back would make me much more depressed as my freedom would be lost. My independence is so important to me and it would be overcrowded too. I'm scared I'll never be able to get on living with anyone after my uni experience. I feel uni has been a failure for me as I have left depressed and anxious. I almost didn't go to my graduation as I was crying from panic attacks and I was shaking so much I had it in my mind I was having a heart attack or a stroke.
I had to quit my job after a day due to panic attacks, upset stomach and depression. I can't stop peeing, I've been worrying about my future far too much, am getting irritable and angry very easily. Hobbies I loved such as karate and Art have been affected. I was very dedicated to karate but stopped going in February due to panic attacks and haven't been able to go since. I want to be an Art Therapist and am trying to do therapeutic art at the moment, but I am losing patience so easily and am not happy with any of my outcomes. My motivation levels have been low and when I went on holiday recently, my parents picked up on the fact I wasn't myself anymore.
I've been referred to a CPN by the doctors, but they haven't contacted me and there's a waiting list to be seen to. I don't know how long I'll have to wait but will be ringing up tomorrow. I have some great mates helping me out, but I'm even guilt tripping myself there as they have helped me so much and I don't know how to thank them.
I need advice on how to talk to my parents the next time I ring them. I know they're worried, but I feel like a problem and that I need to get away so that they don't have that problem. I've been so up and down its unreal.
Anyways, thought I'd share,
Peace,
purplehills21