Just tired.

[annakatarinas]

Hey guys, it's been a while. I just desperately need someone to talk to.

Since last time, I've been officially diagnosed with Panic Disorder, possibly Generalized Anxiety Disorder, major depressive symptoms and Bipolar symptoms (the latter two to be further investigated together with my psychiatrist and my psychologist).

My psychiatrist prescribed benzodiazepines, Oxascand 10 mg, and chloroprothixene, Truxal 25 mg x 2 to sleep. So, now I'm on my way to become an addict as well.

The thing is, nothing really helps. Therapy sessions, sleeping pills, talking to friends and family... nothing. Everything just piles up. I'm pretty positive I hate myself, my life and the way I live it.

There are some sparks of hope though. For bouts of two or three days at a time, I feel splendid, on the verge of agitated, and energized. But after a couple of days... It's gone. Then the self-hatred starts all over again. I can't even put into words how it feels. It's an overwhelming feeling of.... Well... Hate. I hate myself, and I'm fucking sick of it. I won't take any of your pep talks, because it's not true anyways. No, I can't think of any good traits. I can't think about the people who love me and how sad they'd be if I was gone. I can't breathe in, breathe out.

This is just too much for me to take, but no one can really solve this for me either.

Please, help me.

[JohnC]

Your right about one thing annakatarinass, it has to start with you and no one else. Long time sufferer here and its a freakin battle every day, some better than others. For me it's baby steps. Usually 3 steps forward and about 12 backward but i keep going. No pep talk :) but i wish you the best of luck. Peace

[Anne1221]

I hope just some of those medications give you some relief. At least you're seeking help. That's a good start.

[Exactice]

Annakatrinas, The one thing that I like to share to others that are looking for the "light" at the end of the tunnel. Is not to look at the set backs but look at the recovery!!!!!

Look at how much tools you have developed and how quickly you actually recover from one of your bouts with anxiety. I am sure you remember one event that took days....weeks or even a month to get over. But now with the meds, the therapy and the talking you get over these episodes quicker right?

Try to log how long your symptoms take, you will notice that you are recovering quicker and the durations between each episodes lengthens. Remember our anxiety wont disappear over night, but its should get easier and easier over time!