Irrational Worries About Uncontrollable Things

[NightMirror]

Hi everyone,

I'm new here. I don't have any official diagnoses of anxiety, but for many years I've felt unsettled. I'm a 24 year old female who is consistently worried about things I can't control. I'm also worried about extreme situations that have a very slim chance of happening. The worries get so bad that I can't focus during the day, especially at work.

Here are some examples:
- Once I dated a guy who I feared would stalk me and sneak into my apartment even though he never made indications of such.
- I keep worrying about a new mall that's opening in my area causing traffic that will make me late to work and late coming home from work. Now that's a pretty reasonable worry to a certain extent, but my mind is creating scenarios when I'm so late coming home that my cat either starves or begins to hate me.

This is a really annoying problem. I'm so sick of worrying about things I can't control. 99 percent of the time, the things I worry about never come to pass, but yet I physically cannot keep myself from being preoccupied about these things. I want to live my life. I'm looking forward to many things in the near future, including shopping at the new mall. But the worrying is so overwhelming that I don't know what to do.

I'm confused and upset. I don't know if this is actual anxiety or not. Does anyone else suffer from this?

Thank you for your help.

[Garrett89]

Hi I'm suffering from anxiety and I deal with the WHAT IF thoughts all day myself and its very hard sometimes to get your mind off of them!! But keep your head up I hope it gets better!!

[Kixxi]

Hi everyone,

I'm new here. I don't have any official diagnoses of anxiety, but for many years I've felt unsettled. I'm a 24 year old female who is consistently worried about things I can't control. I'm also worried about extreme situations that have a very slim chance of happening. The worries get so bad that I can't focus during the day, especially at work.

Here are some examples:
- Once I dated a guy who I feared would stalk me and sneak into my apartment even though he never made indications of such.
- I keep worrying about a new mall that's opening in my area causing traffic that will make me late to work and late coming home from work. Now that's a pretty reasonable worry to a certain extent, but my mind is creating scenarios when I'm so late coming home that my cat either starves or begins to hate me.

This is a really annoying problem. I'm so sick of worrying about things I can't control. 99 percent of the time, the things I worry about never come to pass, but yet I physically cannot keep myself from being preoccupied about these things. I want to live my life. I'm looking forward to many things in the near future, including shopping at the new mall. But the worrying is so overwhelming that I don't know what to do.

I'm confused and upset. I don't know if this is actual anxiety or not. Does anyone else suffer from this?

Thank you for your help.

I had the exact same problem. Still do, but I am getting so much better now by doing something with those thoughts. I hope this will help you to. When I started this I didn't think it would make any different, but after a week or so everyone said that they noticed a chance in me. I wasn't convinced, but after another week I started noticing them to :)

This is what I do:

- Write down those what if thoughts every day. No matter how silly you think they are.
- Counter those thoughts on paper with a positive and a proof that this isn't true. Mistaken beliefs and what if's are a big cause of anxiety.

And example of some of mine and their counterpart:
- What if I get a panic attack when I go to that supermarket? There is no proof that I will have a panic attack. And if I do, you had them before and you were absolutely fine. You can do anything.
- What if my fiance leaves me? You cannot control life, but there is no proof that he will at the moment. There is proof that he loves you.
- What if they think I'm stupid? You know your not stupid and actually quite smart. What other people think is out of your control and you shouldn't really care.

I hope this can help you get rid of those thoughts.

[Lilac]

Dear NightMirror,

I know how you feel, because I've gone through most of my life being a perfectionist and obsessed with controlling even the uncontrollable. I have health anxiety, GAD, and OCD connected to the health anxiety. I too do not have an "official" diagnosis on paper, but I've talked to several doctors and psychologists, and all of them have said that I suffer from anxiety. Health anxiety is especially difficult, and I only recently discovered that I have one. Controlling symptoms, diseases and the functions of the body in general is impossible. I started getting symptoms after a relay race I ran earlier this year, and I was fixating on those, wanting them to go away. Of course the more I fought them, the longer they lasted and I got even more, which made me extremely anxious and scared of having a specific disease. Nothing has gotten worse, it comes and goes, and a few new symptoms come every once in a while. And I keep fighting them. It feels like I'm in a war with my own body as my enemy, and I want to win. But when fighting it, I lose big time.

Other than my recently developed health anxiety, I've spent most of my life trying to control every aspects of it. I'm scared of other people's feelings and thoughts about me, because I can't see it, or control them. I want to control my emotions, my thoughts, and the more I realize I cannot control it, the more anxious, angry and negative I get. I look for perfectionism, although I am completely aware I'll never obtain a perfect life or Self, perfect friends, family or boyfriend. I've been self-destructive most of my life because of this way of thinking. So yeah, I know how it feels.

If you want to know more, read my post in the welcome thread (haha, looks like I'm advertising myself, but it's really just because I see no need to tell the whole story over again in every thread)

I agree with Kixxi above me; that's a very good advice indeed. It helps to write, because then you see your own thoughts and patterns.

[NightMirror]

Oh my gosh, thank you, everyone! I didn't know that other people felt the same way. I will try to write down my thoughts.

[Kixxi]

Oh my gosh, thank you, everyone! I didn't know that other people felt the same way. I will try to write down my thoughts.

You'll find so much support here. I felt so alone before I found this forum and everybody really knows what you are going through.