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View Full Version : The feeling of "not being here" - depersonalization



Lilac
08-06-2014, 06:55 AM
Hey everyone,

I have been struggling with anxiety for some years, but recently I developed health anxiety. The past three months have just flown by, and it feels like I haven't been present in time and space.

As I have mentioned several places in this forum already, I fear a certain fatal disease. I have done all the tests, but keep saying to myself: "Well, it's been four weeks since the tests now, you probably have developed the disease now". As badly as I want to tell you all about every little symptom and "deformity" I think I feel and can see on my body, I'm not going to do that in respect of those who have health anxiety and might be triggered by such details. But what I do want to share is that I have been analyzing my body for three months straight. I find so many things with me that is wrong. I've taken pictures of myself, standing in front of the mirror, etc. I analyze my body at work, on the subway on my way to work, on the ride back home from work, at home in my own apartment, when I was on vacation, when I am out with friends, even in my sleep! I dream about this horrifying disease several nights in a row. I look for symptoms outside and inside my body. Inside we have pain, (subjective, not clinical) weakness, fatigue, tiredness, tingling sensations, heavy breathing, etc.

All this analyzing and occupation with my own health and mortality, have made a different life for me. I live in my own bubble. I'm physically present, when I grocery shop, hanging out with friends, watching TV or talking with someone, but mentally, I'm completely GONE! I don't recognize myself, and this is a feeling I've never had before. The other day when I was grocery shopping, I was checking to see if my legs and arms were "okay", and suddenly I "woke up" for a few minutes, almost forgetting where I was or what I was supposed to shop. People talk to me, and I talk back, but I have only one thought, and that is this freaking disease. And all I want is to talk about it, but I keep myself from doing it. I feel like I've wasted the entire summer and my vacation, not to mention my (social) life in general, by living like I have this disease. I'm almost certain I'm dead within a few years, so I don't bother "living" now. this is not me, this is not who I am. I never used to be scared of my health or diseases. That is the one thing I've actually accepted that I cannot control. But now... I see no future, and I live in a different reality than people around me.

So my questions is: does this sound familiar to you? What do you do to get out of this state of mind?

One thing that is really true is that if you tell yourself something over and over again, it becomes the truth. I've told myself for three months that I have this disease, and I can "see" and feel all the symptoms. Yet, nothing has developed or gotten worse - I just find new things, or it comes and goes.

Im-Suffering
08-06-2014, 08:00 AM
Hey everyone,

I have been struggling with anxiety for some years, but recently I developed health anxiety. The past three months have just flown by, and it feels like I haven't been present in time and space.

As I have mentioned several places in this forum already, I fear a certain fatal disease. I have done all the tests, but keep saying to myself: "Well, it's been four weeks since the tests now, you probably have developed the disease now". As badly as I want to tell you all about every little symptom and "deformity" I think I feel and can see on my body, I'm not going to do that in respect of those who have health anxiety and might be triggered by such details. But what I do want to share is that I have been analyzing my body for three months straight. I find so many things with me that is wrong. I've taken pictures of myself, standing in front of the mirror, etc. I analyze my body at work, on the subway on my way to work, on the ride back home from work, at home in my own apartment, when I was on vacation, when I am out with friends, even in my sleep! I dream about this horrifying disease several nights in a row. I look for symptoms outside and inside my body. Inside we have pain, (subjective, not clinical) weakness, fatigue, tiredness, tingling sensations, heavy breathing, etc.

All this analyzing and occupation with my own health and mortality, have made a different life for me. I live in my own bubble. I'm physically present, when I grocery shop, hanging out with friends, watching TV or talking with someone, but mentally, I'm completely GONE! I don't recognize myself, and this is a feeling I've never had before. The other day when I was grocery shopping, I was checking to see if my legs and arms were "okay", and suddenly I "woke up" for a few minutes, almost forgetting where I was or what I was supposed to shop. People talk to me, and I talk back, but I have only one thought, and that is this freaking disease. And all I want is to talk about it, but I keep myself from doing it. I feel like I've wasted the entire summer and my vacation, not to mention my (social) life in general, by living like I have this disease. I'm almost certain I'm dead within a few years, so I don't bother "living" now. this is not me, this is not who I am. I never used to be scared of my health or diseases. That is the one thing I've actually accepted that I cannot control. But now... I see no future, and I live in a different reality than people around me.

So my questions is: does this sound familiar to you? What do you do to get out of this state of mind?

One thing that is really true is that if you tell yourself something over and over again, it becomes the truth. I've told myself for three months that I have this disease, and I can "see" and feel all the symptoms. Yet, nothing has developed or gotten worse - I just find new things, or it comes and goes.

Read my reading/message for another peer in this thread (although it applies to everyone), scroll down a few posts:

http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?25352-Health-Anxiety!-What-s-your-most-irrational-self-diagnosis/page4

If you don't understand it, read it 100 times until you do. It applies to you. Stop for a moment looking outside yourself for answers, and understand the role thoughts/beliefs have in your life and where they come from. This will heal you. Read it, think about it, start to study and put energies toward solving the problems instead of maintaining the illness, for lack of a better word.

Read my linked post.

Ankhsious
08-06-2014, 08:37 AM
Hi Lilac,

Sorry you are going through this. My thought is this. Fear manifests in an abstract way as a feeling. Then the mind takes over and ASSIGNS IT TO SOMETHING THAT SEEMS A GOOD FIT. "Oh, I'm afraid, it must be because of this". The assignment may or may not be accurate - most times it is not.

I met a guy yesterday who has panic attacks over artificial intelligence taking over the earth. Proper assignment or not?

Once assigned, it is the second wave that kills us. The second wave is the rumination that not only reinforces the assignment but also crushes the joy out of life. You can only ruminate over the past and future and by definition, all joy is in the present moment.

I recommend a two step approach.

1. find some meditation practice that helps you observe yourself as a detached witness
2. cbt to uncover the TRUE source of fear - as Im Suffering says, most likely an unresolved emotion or stack of emotions from something you know but are ignoring

Meawhile, wishing you strength. When the burning bridge comes you DO have the strength to cross it. No need to rehearse in your mind over and over :-)

manda
08-06-2014, 09:20 AM
Yes I experience this also. I struggle to go about my normal routine as I panic even shopping and worry am I really here. Is this real. I'm a spiritual person and do grounding meditations. You can find these on you tube. It brings me back in the moment.

AnxiousPsychGrad
08-06-2014, 10:37 AM
Yes, yes, yes, and YES. To everything you've said. Depersonalization is THE most petrifying, inexplicable symptom of my anxiety. At my lowest point, I was just existing. It was almost like an out of body experience. I saw everything happening, but felt nothing. Constantly had a fuzzy feeling in my head. Horrible!
So sorry you are going through this right now. Hope you find some peace soon.

manda
08-06-2014, 10:56 AM
My depersonalization came on suddenly for no reason. I was just sitting with my partner a few months back watching a film and then though oh my face feels numb and so do my hands. They felt disconnected from me. I remember sitting there slapping my face to see if I could feel it. Then my legs felt like they werent mine. I was pacing the room in a panic feeling like I must have died or wasgoing to. Everything felt unreal. I called my mother and told her I though I was dying as I felt dreadful. With her being used to me by now told me to go to bed and rest and I'm just panicking. An hour later she called me back and said oh your alive then. It hit home that I'm not seriously Ill or dying and now I try to relax myself when the fear sets in.