fender bender

[JLK]

Out driving today, I was stopped at a red light and I'm not even sure what I was doing, but I must have let my foot off the brake and bumped into the car ahead of me. Everything was fine, there was no damage, I didn't even have to get out of the car, I didn't even stall out (I kept the clutch in, not sure, again, why I'd eased off the brake).

I just feel my thoughts building up now, what happened? Am I safe to drive? Why did I do that? What's wrong with me? Etc., etc. etc.

Any words of advice to turn that around now before I have to go driving again?

[Mark A. Camacho]

Go to driving center and get training :)

[JLK]

Go to driving center and get training :)

Um, I've had a license for over ten years? This was basically my first "accident." I was just hoping for some advice to deal with the mental/thought side of things.

[AnxiousPsychGrad]

Very easy to become absent-minded with anxiety. I do it all the time, sometimes while driving. It's a horrible habit that must be broken. Before you leave the house, make sure you are in full control of yourself, no anxiety or thoughts that may lead to a panic attack. If you feel as though you are slipping while driving, pull over and get yourself together. Unfortunately there is no other answer. :(

[Im-Suffering]

Um, I've had a license for over ten years? This was basically my first "accident." I was just hoping for some advice to deal with the mental/thought side of things.

"Go to a driving center and get training" that's like an episode of Seinfeld. Classic. Obviously a joke.

Back to you, let your thoughts pass. You draw to you that which you worry about, like attracts like. So naturally fresh in your mind, you are attracting similar thoughts. There are 2 possibilities:

Attract - "oh no what if this and that"
Neutral - no reaction either way

There is no repel, for to push it away you draw it closer, you attract what you push against.

But, you can also attract positive thoughts "it was nothing", "it will never happen again" "I am safe" "vehicles are safe and I'm a great driver" "such a small incident, I'm always blessed in this way", and so forth.

Listen carefully - thoughts have their own motion, and on their own, no emotional attraction, they will float on by, one after the next. Drawing to you similar thought patterns by your emotional state. Allow thoughts to come and go, you cannot stop them, and by trying you just draw them close.

Thoughts are electrical.the stronger the emotional current, the quicker the manifestation. By thinking one way or the other you electrify it, backed by emotional energy. Better to be a positive thinker than, you see.

Many choices!

[Kuma]

JLK -

One of the ways I have dealt with my anxiety, after CBT, is to push myself hard to think about the "real facts" and the "real consequences" -- rather than imagining the worst....

Some real facts for you are (1) you have been driving for a long time, (2) you have a good driving record, (3) this incident did not cause any damage, (4) millions of very good drivers do what you did -- so you are far from alone -- the occasional fender-bender is just sort of a price of driving, and (5) even if this happens again to you, once every 5 or 10 years, which it may, it really does not matter -- worst case it costs you a little bit of money or the bother of doing an insurance claim.

Of course, it is easy for me to say these things. But they are true. And if you can believe that -- which you should -- then this should pass.

Best wishes, Kuma