Ashley1
08-05-2014, 11:16 AM
Hello All! I am fairly new to the seriousness of anxiety/panic attacks/OCD and I am trying to learn more about it day by day. Currently, I am not the one DIRECTLY struggling with anxiety but I am going through hell to put it lightly to try and be a supportive spouse to my boyfriend. We have been dating and living together for about a year and a half. A nearly flawless relationship where he would emotionally spoil me to death....talking about marriage often, meeting me at the train everyday, cooking me dinner, talking about our future all of the time and his enthusiasm for it. In the beginning anxiety wasn't really apparent until he started a super stressful job that had extremely demanding hours (4am-8pm, 12pm-11pm etc...)....they hours were all over the place and as a manager he had a lot of responsibilities to delegate and handle in the industry that he was in. On two different occasions he had to leave work to go to the ER (once on ambulance about a month ago) and another time last February. He would often need me to stop down to his work to relax him just by seeing me. About a month ago he had a huge episode at work, went to the ER, and started taking new medication prescribed by his psychiatrist. Instead of coming back home to me he stayed with his mom (I live in a city in massachusetts and she lives about 35 minutes outside the city). He stayed at her place for two nights and eventually came home. That weekend, he gave his notice at his job and had another one lined up (luckily). I wasn't resentful but wasn't happy that he "chose" his mother over coming back to OUR place but of course it hurt. He had about two weeks off of work before he started his new job and in the meantime...he had another panic attack and took off to his mothers AGAIN and has been there for over a week and a half. He is 38 years old, she is 76. He has a different relationship with his mother, coming from significant money....basically has been on his own his whole life in and out of boarding schools etc. She probably feels like this is the time she can actually be a mother and he is getting taken care of like a king. He has started his job yesterday and is understandably anxious about it. What I am going through right now NOT knowing our future, being distant and basically being thrown to the wolves...I just don't knwo what to do. He was the absolute best boyfriend I could ever ask for, most supportive, intelligent, fun etc...and now it is a struggle for him to even call me and it seems like there is no fear of losing me which is someone who said they would do anything in the world for me. Is this normal/acceptable side effect of a severe panic attack? Under normal circumstances i would say see you later but do I throw this 1.5 year relationship (awesome) over a couple of weeks of hell? Any advice would be incredibly appreciated.