maddie-_-
08-03-2014, 02:13 PM
Im not really sure what to do..I need therapy. I dont leave my home, I dont eat, I dont sleep, Im constantly having panic attacks or anxiety to the point I almost cant move.
Im with the NHS therapy, I am due to recieve CBT therapy in a few months but I have no faith in it. I just feel like my anxiety is so bad that they dont understand its not hormones, its real.
It got to the point I couldnt leave my house last october, and I have been getting an hour with this lady who is just making sure im not falling to bits, once every two weeks and I cant tell her anything because shes so horrible. So I bottle things up and I just feel like my heads going to explode. I dont really have any friends anymore because I tuck myself away so much, I even dont like talking online anymore because I feel like they will want me to do things I cant like going out or even going on a phone call.
I have nightmares every single night, either about *emet trigger* vomit or like last night, I had a dream I got cancer. I am scared to sleep incase I wake up ill, and I dread the nightmares. I feel like my teen years are being robbed from me, and no one will listen because they cant see my anxiety. I just need a therapist who believes in me. I just need someone to believe I can recover, becuase I dont really believe it anymore.
I am also due to begin my old school in september, and I am not ready. People are pushing me to do things I cant do..I am diagnosed with emetophobia (severe phobia of vomit) and severe depression. My mum wont let me on medication, and I have no help..I just feel so f*cking angry and like im about to go insane if I bottle it up anymore. I tried to tell a close friend about my depression and anxiety, and he told me my life was really easy and I shouldnt complain. I just need a real friend :( Im sorry im such a miserable person, shit changes people..The thing that hurts so much also, is that my 5 year best friend doesnt even know. I cant even tell her. But because I stay at home and cry all the time, she doesnt ask if Im ok, she just makes new friends. I have been forgotten totally:/ My dad doesnt even call anymore. He doesnt text me either. He cant come to our house, well thats a lie, he can, he just doesnt.
Im with the NHS therapy, I am due to recieve CBT therapy in a few months but I have no faith in it. I just feel like my anxiety is so bad that they dont understand its not hormones, its real.
It got to the point I couldnt leave my house last october, and I have been getting an hour with this lady who is just making sure im not falling to bits, once every two weeks and I cant tell her anything because shes so horrible. So I bottle things up and I just feel like my heads going to explode. I dont really have any friends anymore because I tuck myself away so much, I even dont like talking online anymore because I feel like they will want me to do things I cant like going out or even going on a phone call.
I have nightmares every single night, either about *emet trigger* vomit or like last night, I had a dream I got cancer. I am scared to sleep incase I wake up ill, and I dread the nightmares. I feel like my teen years are being robbed from me, and no one will listen because they cant see my anxiety. I just need a therapist who believes in me. I just need someone to believe I can recover, becuase I dont really believe it anymore.
I am also due to begin my old school in september, and I am not ready. People are pushing me to do things I cant do..I am diagnosed with emetophobia (severe phobia of vomit) and severe depression. My mum wont let me on medication, and I have no help..I just feel so f*cking angry and like im about to go insane if I bottle it up anymore. I tried to tell a close friend about my depression and anxiety, and he told me my life was really easy and I shouldnt complain. I just need a real friend :( Im sorry im such a miserable person, shit changes people..The thing that hurts so much also, is that my 5 year best friend doesnt even know. I cant even tell her. But because I stay at home and cry all the time, she doesnt ask if Im ok, she just makes new friends. I have been forgotten totally:/ My dad doesnt even call anymore. He doesnt text me either. He cant come to our house, well thats a lie, he can, he just doesnt.