How to talk to my doctor?

[Comp1844]

Hello,

I'm 32 and getting health insurance this week for the first time in my life, so I'm going to see a doctor hopefully Friday. I recently discovered through research and discussion with others that problems I've dealt with for about the past 15 years are most likely due to GAD. I've always had issues with racing thoughts, consistent worry, inability to relax, etc. The hardest times are actually when the least amount of stress is in my life, because my mind still races just as much, but it doesn't have any problems to focus on, so it simply races from empty thought to empty thought, and that's the worst. At least during times of stress I have something real to focus on and can handle the issue. But that's beside the point. Aside from this daily anxiety (things I always just thought were "normal"), I count letters in my head; i.e. when I'm talking to someone, or just thinking in general, I count the letters in every word that is said, thought or read, and group them into groups of 3/4/5/7. I've also got Tourette's, which manifests mostly in physical tics (the verbal aspect has minimized over the years, although it was never profane as is seen in movies, etc., just me saying words over and over, usually under my breath) which cause a lot of headaches and muscle aches.

At any rate, the point of all of that was simply to share some of my history. I've never been to a doctor about these issues (last time I went to the doctor was probably 15+ years ago), so I'm very nervous to go to a doctor this week for those reasons, but also for the following reason:

I had a very troubled youth and teen years, and I've always figured my anxiety and other issues were simply "how things are" and never questioned it until I started getting really bad panic attacks about a year ago. While the panic attacks have only been about a half dozen in the past year (a couple almost had me pick up and move across the country... for no reason), the anxiety I feel is constant. That being said, I had finally opened up to a good friend about my issues after doing some research after one of my last panic attacks. She told me that she has a lot of the same issues, and that her doctor prescribes her Klonopin, and she gave me a couple week's worth of .5mg/x2daily. To be completely honest, I almost cried (32 year old man) after taking these. The counting stopped, the thoughts stopped, my house felt like home, I wasn't snappy at my girlfriend, and I actually felt like I was living instead of just surviving. I started exercising, tending to my house more, and I even worked on a book I started to write 2 years ago. The difference was like night and day. It was actually that time that convinced me to go ahead and get health insurance and go see a doctor. After I finished up what my friend had given me, my girlfriend's mom gave me a couple week's worth of Ativan .5mg/x2daily. While it was helpful, it was not nearly as helpful as the Klonopin was. And now that I've seen how it feels to feel "normal"... the anxiety is 10x worse knowing that it could be taken away with proper medication.

All that said: I don't know how to approach this with my doctor. First, I can barely remember the last time I spoke with a doctor about anything (other than for my daughters). Second, I don't know how to ask for Klonopin without sounding like some kind of druggie. I'm afraid that if I'm honest with them, that they'll somehow not prescribe it out of spite. And I'm afraid if I'm not honest with them, that I'm just going to end up wasting my time while they stumble through trial and error medicating me. It's honestly to the point that I'm so worked up about it that I'm thinking of just not going to the doctor at all.

So, do I tell the doctor that I've tried it and it works? Or do I go in and act like I'm clueless? I don't want to lie or be deceitful, but I also don't want to get myself in hot water. I keep playing it over in my head, and I just keep stressing myself out more and more.

Sorry for such a long post, and I hope you guys could help me out with this. Thanks a ton.

[Dahila]

Hi and welcome to forum. It looks like you got anxiety and it seems that you are in bad shape. Yeah klonopin (you must be in US) aka clonazepam that's my med. I am on it, and it is wonder drug. I have Gad from early childhood, but I am on regular meds for one year. The year I started to go to my psychiatrist and she put me on meds, is the best year of my life; I am calm, I got back to my old self..

I was in similar shape as you are, wasting the life. Not having normal relationship....
You should try the meditation also it gives tremendous relieve.

I do not know your doctor but I know that you have to underline the world Help. Sometimes GP are smart and they want to help but better choice would be psychiatrist for you.
Just be careful with telling them about meds you got from friends, you can tell that you got three or four pills of klonopin, and it helped. They usually put you on Antidepressants.

I am on clonazepam daily on 0.5mg a day, and gabapentin small dose which help with anxiety. Life is good now, even it does not take away my worry , but at least I can function:))
You need some relieve, just be careful not to tell doc what to write script for . Benzos are kind of addictive but when there is choice between normal life with benzo and crazy, panicky, difficult existence, I chose benzo every time. I am GAD sufferer for over 40 years.

[Comp1844]

So, I got my insurance information today and also found out that it covers behavioral healthcare as well, so instead of trying to muddle through things with a GP, I'm setting up an appointment soon with a psychiatrist. I feel a lot more comfortable doing this, since I feel less like I'm setting myself up to "convince" someone I have issues and can just talk to someone about them. Thanks a ton.

[Dahila]

Very good, now you are talking:)) good , good. You will get helps soon:) It is going to be ok

[Canna87]

Your story sounds similar to mine. When I first told my doctor my symptoms he referred to it as migraines and sent me to get my eyes checked. Next visit with no improvement, I gave him a detailed description of my physical symptoms and he said these are panic attacks. I would have been very embarrassed to have walked in there saying "I'm having panic attacks for no reason - can I have pills?". Good thing I didn't have to, all I did was say how I felt. He gave me Ativan at first, which was not strong enough for me to feel anything but side effects. Next visit, I tell him this and he suggests Zoloft. I honestly just wanted a stronger benzo to actually work so I could go one day care-free without an attack. He was a tad reluctant to give Clonazapam but I got it and this is where I am now.

Don't worry about sounding like a "drug seeker", especially with anxiety meds. You need to get well and so far, day 1 Clorazapam has worked almost perfectly. Most doctors won't, or should not hand out this stuff too liberally but I don't see the harm if you do not take it everyday and go to counselling as well. Ask for a referral to a therapist and for an anxiety med to use in the mean time for bad days.

Wish you all the best

Ps - yes act clueless. I had taken Benzo drugs recreationally when I was a young adult. That was more than 6 years ago and have never had the desire to take them again until my panic problems started. Even if you ask for Clonazapam flat out, say you googled anxiety meds. It's good to research the meds they may give you first right?

[Dahila]

The worst idea is tell the doc what you want, medication name. They are doctors and they will not give you what you want. Better ask for help, tell about symptoms, and listen what they say. I am knowing it from the years of dealing with doctors. They sometimes are loosing the ground with such available information about medication on net. When they hear you researched the medication they get just furious. The best to ask for help , play humble, and you will get what you want. Manipulation is a big key with docs. Psychiatrist treat you completely different but they have knowledge..

[Canna87]

That's not how it is with all doctors..
Personally I knew lots about benzos and SSRI's long before I ever dreamed of a day I'd need them. These tons of commercials and ads everywhere that indicate "ask your doctor if this drug is right for you"

Ok so the poster of this thread wants Clorazapam because she's tried it and knows it works, for whatever reason.
You can get Clonazapam but you may have to try Lorazapam first or something else. Ask what your options are.

You're not a drug seeker, you just need relief. When I asked for Clonazapam I felt a little sketchy too, but these drugs are here for people like us.

[Dahila]

I believe you you know a lot but I am old woman and knowing benzos for 40 years or so. Being sick whole my life, I spend years in hospitals, and there is not many good doctors. Lorazepam, oxazepam you name it, relanium, you probably too young to know the names...
you tell them the symptoms and ask for help. That the only way. You are entitled of course to have different opinion. When you are under universal health care you do not have influence over the system. I still want to believe that there are good docs who were born to be doctors. Most of them book 5 or 6 people in an hour.
My gp would not prescribe (in the last 5 or 6 years anything to relieve my panic attacks) she simply refused to give me anything exce[t prescription for AD and I had not wanted them. I was not and I am not depressed, and AD do not help that much with anxiety. I have the same GP for 22 years and she was stuffing everyone with lorazepam for good 13 years. Then we know what happen in UK and who we should say thank you. I wonder if anyone does any statistic on suicide due the panic attacks? There are some...I am sure.
I am on clonazepam because my psychiatrist is scripting it to me.

Some years ago I checked internet for abuse of benzos and it is over my head to see and read how people abuse them. It does not help to the ones who need them as a medication, not the drug

Yes you know the name ie cymbalta and it is prescribed for depression, that all you get from tv add

[Canna87]

Not too young to know the names, I've done my research. Benzos were prescribed liberally 40 years ago, right? Sorry you've had bad experiences with doctors. All I'm saying is no one should he afraid to mention Clonazapam to their doctor when their suffering. Doctor may say no and suggest something else first. I know the poster of this thread is just looking for relief, doesn't have to be Clorazapam right away. It's my understanding Lorazapam is the introductory benzo for anxiety/panic..

What are your thoughts on lorazapam, Dahlia?

[Dahila]

I was on it for years it is Ativan. Lorazepam i think is the generic version. I like the one 1 mg under the tongue. It is very effective and helps immediately in case of panic attack. However due addictive properties of this (or xanax) I am very careful with it. Thanks to clonazepam and gabapentin I used it maybe 4 times in a year. The best for panic attack. I was using the version of Lorazepam for years for my insomnia, it worked pretty good. Then gp got crazy ideas and she stopped to prescribe it. At this time I had a lot of the pills but I started to use it only for panic attacks, google was already available:))
Of course I sometimes tell her what I want and give her the option of deciding, she feels in power and usually I get what I want.
I met so many doctors suffering with awful asthma from the moment I was born. I do not suffer with it anymore. I think anxiety is a left over from my childhood. I had probably met two or three docs , real ones, who cared.
They usually prescribe Lorazepam/ativan for panic attacks , cause it is effective. Even I was on it for years, when I switched to meditation I quit taking it. I took it only in case of PA:)
It just looses the potency when you take it all the time. We have some people here for years on it. They are on the same dose.
Have I answered?
I am on Clonazepam as I metioned and I found it is the best benzo for so far. Lorazepam ; I feel like zombie when I take it.

[Canna87]

Ativan was what I was first prescribed last month and I didn't like it. This is basically what it did:
I would feel panic attack come on, take a tab under my tongue and wait. Didn't feel any effects until an hour or more later. At that point all I felt was drowsy and a drastic increase in libido lol. So Ativan did nothing for my panic attacks.

[Dahila]

Oh it stops mine but i do not like the way I feel after taking it. No energy or zest for life :))
Unfortunately I take it sometimes. I had the worst panic attack (it lasted for a week) after my good friend lost her fight to cancer.

[needtogetwell]

Ativan aka lorazepam makes me dull and stupid. That and Xanax are the two fastest acting of them but even at the smallest dose they can really get you dumbed out quickly.

My preference is diazepam (vallium) since the tablets can easily bee broken down into 1/4s. This one also is longer acting, similar to clonazepam. I only have to take 1/4 of a 5mg tablet and about 10 minutes later there is a nice even calm, no stupid or dumb brain.

Good luck with this!

[Dahila]

Next time I ask about it;))