Fear of panic attacks is taking over my life

[Traviud]

I feel like I've reached the end of my rope. Anxiety is nothing new whatsoever for me; I've been experiencing panic attacks since I was 9 years old. But at no point in my life have I experienced such intrusive, harmful thoughts about panic attacks as I have over the past two months and it has reached the point where simple 20 minute drives across town make me sick to think about and every new place I have a panic attack compounds my apprehension.

This recent struggle is not exactly unexplained. Two months ago, I moved to Los Angeles from a small town in Indiana because my wife wanted to chase her dreams (and has so far been successful). We're broke, but she's doing very well working for a production company and seems to be as happy as she's ever been, but I'm a total wreck. Any time we go in the car to go somewhere fun, all of my fears and nervous tics come to the fore and I can barely function. But leaving the house in general for more than 10 or 20 minutes frightens me. I haven't always been this way. Years ago, I used to take long walks into the mountains with my dog and it never occurred to me to be afraid of being alone. Then one day I started feeling very vulnerable and I've never been the same since. A car accident I was in just compounded it.

The worst of it is that I can't stop thinking about my problems. Any time I watch a movie or hear about a friend doing something fun and adventurous, I think of how incapable I am of doing anything like that. Today I had to drive 20 minutes to campus and I nearly abandoned my car at a long light on the way back. The whole day I spent worrying about the trip and I know that's not the right thing to do, but it's all I can think about right now.

I was seeing a psychiatrist prior to moving and am looking for a new one. I take propanolol for panic attacks but it doesn't do much to stop the intrusive, aggressively negative thoughts. My wife is trying to be as supportive as possible, even offering to help me count when I'm trying to adjust my breathing. But I feel extremely hopeless right now. God, I felt so defeated after my panic attack today. All I felt was a lot of anger towards myself. I know it's misplaced. I just wish I felt I had any control.

What do you guys suggest? I can't just stop living and become a hermit, though it would momentarily comfort me to think that I could. I need to be able to cope with the panic attacks, but most importantly of all, I need to change my thinking and start to live in the moment again. I just don't know how.

Thanks for reading.

[meichmann]

Sorry to hear you're going through this. we all feel like this at one point or another. we feel completely hopeless and want to give into it.

But, I am happy to see your wife is supportive and tries to help you out. You are definitely in the minority when it comes to support from other people.

When you get anxious or get a panic attack, you "play a movie" in your head over and over again and usually it's something negative. We've all done that too.

Like you, I've had anxiety since i was 10, and suffering form panic attacks for at least 15 years. Driving during a panic attack with my wife and son in the car last year opened my eyes and got me to get help. Since then I've been going to CBT and its helped immensely.

In my experience with them, this is what I do. Maybe it will help you as well:

1) When a panic attack happens, let it happen. Don't fight it. Just let it run it's course.
2) Breathe. Force your self to breathe and really focus on it.
3) If you find yourself playing that "movie", change it. force yourself to change it to something more pleasant, like your hikes or something you enjoy.
4) Talk out loud to it. Treat it like an infant. Trust me, this really helps.
5) When it's over, laugh about it and say out loud to it "Is that all you got?"

Now, do they feel good? Hell no. But, doing these things (for me) drastically reduce the severity and duration of them. Just remember, no one has ever died form a panic attack.

Talk to your doctor about Lexapro. I've been on Lexapro for quite some time and let me tell you, it works great. I still get panic and anxiety but not as often.

I really do hope you feel better and give Kudos to your wife for me for giving you support!

[Anne1221]

Good start to get going with a good Psychiatrist. You need some help to get going in the right direction. I like Lexapro too as it has been very helpful for me with my anxiety . Also, I take Buspar which helps as well. Exercise (vigorous walks) help too. Even if you can't walk far away, just walk as much as you can every day. It will build up your confidence.