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creative ineptitude
07-23-2014, 01:43 PM
So here I am the current newest of the new members of this forum. So hello to you all. I have been looking for an online community that works for me. I have been to several forums and none of them seem to work for me. Most just seemed like no one was around or just did not want to respond to my posts. I am not a likable person so that could be the reason. Anyway I found this forum recently doing another search for a forum to hang my hat. Not sure why this one never came up in my other searches especially since it was the first one that came up in the latest search.

Ok I know I am blabbing on. So how about a little about me?.... I don't care, I am going to do it anyway. I am a 40 year old male. In more recent years I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and low testosterone. There are other health issues but I think those are the more pertinent ones. I have half heartedly sought help. Twice I went to see someone, money and time pretty much kept me from seeing them more than a couple of times. Another problem was one of the counselors I went to see either left or was let go from the group they were part of. I think I have always had anxiety, I remember as a kid, hating to go to new places or to where there was going to be a group of people. Things like meeting new people, going to gatherings always made me a little nervous. Most of the time I either just avoided going or I sat by myself in another room or area. As I got older even doing things I enjoyed became a problem. Having to use the bathroom several times before getting to our destination and while there. Now I have to fight just to go almost anywhere, even places I am more comfortable with. All this is going to make things harder for me as I am looking for work after losing my job a few weeks ago. Although with the economy the way it is, I will have to probably find a shelter or something in the near future.

I am babbling now and to be honest this has taken me nearly an hour to do. Things kinda took my mind from it, that and I needed time to figure out what to say. I guess like in my life I have problems completing things.

Cullingford
07-23-2014, 01:55 PM
Hi there Creative nice to meet you and welcome to the forum.

sarah37
07-23-2014, 02:10 PM
Welcome aboard! I too have difficulty with meeting new people. I tend to be a loner for the most part. Gathering always make me nervous as well. I'm on 5 mg. of valium when I have to face that. Yes the economy does pose a problem. If I loose my current job because I'm afraid to address a crowd, I may be on the street. I am deathly afraid to speak in any public manner. Anyway, glad your here. I'm new too on this forum. Have to say people here are slow to respond, not sure but its nice to vent anyway.

creative ineptitude
07-23-2014, 02:15 PM
Thanks for the welcome. sarah37, that's the thing I do not get along with people even when I can be near them, so how do I go for an interview? How I ever worked behind the counter at an auto parts store for 9 years, I have no idea. Hopefully you and I will find what we need here.

sarah37
07-23-2014, 02:29 PM
It just seems to me that most people are just not trustworthy and sincere and frankly complete assholes. I think this is why I tend to like to be in my own little world. Its always been hard for me to make friends for some reason. I'm not ugly by know means and have a nice personality I think. I think my turning point was in HS. I went to a new school and tried to make friends and was shunned like the plague. At that point I clamed up and eventually became a loner for the most part. I just don't understand people. I guess I'm misunderstood. Sometimes just watching a great movie with a bottle of top shelf vodka by myself is all I need. I know its not healthy but is makes me happy at least temporarily.

creative ineptitude
07-23-2014, 04:40 PM
I pretty much am happy myself. I am totally opposite of you though, I am ugly and on my best days I have a smell (hard to explain). I do not have any kind of personality, unless you call being a smartass a personality. I have a few friends and few family members that I hang out with. My friends have been my friends since before high school or from high school, the one thing I am is loyal and cannot stand people who are not.