Agita
07-23-2014, 08:24 AM
Hi,
I had panic attacks for a long while, but in the last little while I've changed a bit. In the beginning I dealt with fear and anxiety by getting mad. I had rage inside me, I would have racing thoughts, My heart would get up to ~200bpm (lol I measured it), I would pace for hours and I couldn't sleep..... I also had ulcers so when I would have panic attacks my stomach would be pretty bad if I had anything to eat at all. Before I knew what panic attacks or ulcers were I would just not eat in order to avoid diarrhea at work. Granted half a oatmeal cake would send me to the bathroom within 2 or 3 minutes of eating it. I stress eat a bit, so not eating was weird for me.
My anxiety was ALL due to my phobia and with therapy it got a little better and my rage disappeared. Instead I was just afraid. For the last year or so.
Now a year later I'm going through exposure therapy and my rage and hatred is back. I have racing thoughts after just thinking about the exposure, and I pace for most of the day at work. I'm angry at no one and I just keep that inside. I don't let it out on anyone. The feeling of hatred is just there because of the phobia I'm thinking of. BUT, I have no racing heart. Possibly elevated heart rate and my BP goes extremely high. ~210/100 is an average when I'm dealing with my phobia. ~130/70 on average throughout the day. I pace for hours or power walk alone. Insomnia is also a little bit of a problem. I take some benadryl and unisom to get drowsy enough to fall asleep most nights. lorazepam has NO effect when this happens.
So the question is. Is this still a panic attack? Could I still tell my therapist and doctor that I'm having them without being wrong about the self diagnosis?
I had panic attacks for a long while, but in the last little while I've changed a bit. In the beginning I dealt with fear and anxiety by getting mad. I had rage inside me, I would have racing thoughts, My heart would get up to ~200bpm (lol I measured it), I would pace for hours and I couldn't sleep..... I also had ulcers so when I would have panic attacks my stomach would be pretty bad if I had anything to eat at all. Before I knew what panic attacks or ulcers were I would just not eat in order to avoid diarrhea at work. Granted half a oatmeal cake would send me to the bathroom within 2 or 3 minutes of eating it. I stress eat a bit, so not eating was weird for me.
My anxiety was ALL due to my phobia and with therapy it got a little better and my rage disappeared. Instead I was just afraid. For the last year or so.
Now a year later I'm going through exposure therapy and my rage and hatred is back. I have racing thoughts after just thinking about the exposure, and I pace for most of the day at work. I'm angry at no one and I just keep that inside. I don't let it out on anyone. The feeling of hatred is just there because of the phobia I'm thinking of. BUT, I have no racing heart. Possibly elevated heart rate and my BP goes extremely high. ~210/100 is an average when I'm dealing with my phobia. ~130/70 on average throughout the day. I pace for hours or power walk alone. Insomnia is also a little bit of a problem. I take some benadryl and unisom to get drowsy enough to fall asleep most nights. lorazepam has NO effect when this happens.
So the question is. Is this still a panic attack? Could I still tell my therapist and doctor that I'm having them without being wrong about the self diagnosis?