I thought I had it all "under control" :(

[Trainsmash]

Last Thursday I was laying in bed ready to doze off...but my mind was still wide awake playing tricks on me. Ahhh, a new bodily sensation to worry about. Out of nowhere my arms and back and face felt like it was on fire. Before I could even process what I was feeling I shot up out of bed like a man possessed. It caught me off guard (like they always do). I opened the front door and went outside for fresh air but this one was nasty and no matter what I told myself, I could not stop it. Heart was racing and I tried to pour me some water but even that was a mission as everything in my body felt weak and dumb.

I walked back in the room and woke up my girlfriend (I might have been a bit selfish and inconsiderate by doing that) and asked her to please massage my back and shoulders, I just could not calm down. It lasted about 20 min but every bit of me wanted to run to the ER. Eventually I started relaxing after turning the fan onto full blast mode and just sitting there in the wind.

I know hate is a big word but I truly HATE feeling like this. Bedtime used to be my favorite time but not anymore...I fear going to bed. I am 38 and feel like a child who needs the light on when they go to sleep.

I haven't had this for a long time and then BANG!!..out of nowhere it showed its ugly face again.

Work stress does not help. A very good friend of mine was told a month ago that he has terminal cancer and I was with him when he got the news. All these things play in my head...been a very stressful year.

At the moment I'm listening to soothing Zen type of music to help me fall asleep.

To all the other sufferers out there I just want to say - you are not alone and we will kick this things ass!!!

[Modest]

You're definitely not alone. I have had similar panic attacks like this. One just happened a few days ago and it's got me back to feeling crappy. It is very draining.

[tired0319]

I agree train... So fed up!! So sick of living this way. Glad to know I'm not alone :)

[Im-Suffering]

Suffering is not good for the soul, unless it teaches you how to stop suffering. That is its purpose.

[kippy7]

We will Trains i know we all will.I resolve to not let this keep me down anymore.Totally fed up haven't had a goodnight's sleep in weeks and it sucks.Cudoes to your girl for being there for you.

[Irish Sammie]

Hey Trains!

Set-backs are known symptoms of recovery. Most Psychology based books on anxiety that I've read all state the same thing. Remember what's being effected here. Your whole nervous system is out of balance and that can take time to heal. I remember reading in one of the books that "However long it took you for your nervous system to crash, will take the same amount of time to recover, if not longer". It's more about accepting, knowing that it could be with you for months to come. Accepting such a possible outcome will allow you to think about other things in your life that are not dominated by anxiety.