Im scared of public places, i have low self esteem and im scared of school

[iLoveWafflez]

Okay so first of all, im really scared of going to public places, i feel like everyone watches me, i constantly feel that i am fat or something else like that. Im scared of people, every time i walk by someone my own age, im scared they'll come and try to pick a fight with me. I dont know why! I have a really low self esteem, i feel like everyone is better than me, i think i have social anxiety i think... And im not good at talking, im really weird, its hard to explain, but i sometimes just mention such random things. And school. School is my most hated place in this earth, i dread every single morning to wake up to go to school. Im not bullied all that much, of course there's the as*hole in the class who always bullies me very lightly but not too bad. Im too scared to stand up for myself. I cant come up with comebacks, and as i said, im scared to stand up for myself. I HATE school, im scared to go to school, i dont want to go to school, im scared of some of the teachers, im scared of some of the people, im scared that i look stupid or fat, i hate EVERYTHING. School is starting in about a month, and im terrified. a MONTH, about 30 days, and im ALREADY scared. Im scared of everything... I try to be really nice to everyone, im too kind to some people, that's one reason why my self esteem is so low. And because im scared of people, i spend most of my days on the computer, sometimes i go out with some friends. But even then i do it just to go out, not because i want to go out. What do i do? I've had this problem for so long, im stressed, anxious, and scared. What do i do? And my parents didn't take it seriously the last time i told them about this.

[JohnC]

Hi iLoveWafflez,
Welcome to the forum. I can not say i was ever scared to go to school but i really did not care for it. I never had good comebacks for those smart asses. And i also wonderd if people thought i was fat and were looking at me. I do not know what grade you are in but as you get older it does get better, usually. I would try not to worry about it and ignor them as much as you can. You do not have to impress any one. And best thing is when you graduate you go do your own thing.
I always say it takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. I know that probably does not help but i can tell you one thing for sure. Most of those people in 15 years will all be gaining weight and showing there age and if you keep your act together and get good grades you can WOW them with your success. Never hesitate to ask a question though, ok

[Prayer for Anxiety]

Hi iLoveWafflez,
I remember feeling similar things in school. It's horrible. Of course you remember the perfect comeback line, like, 6 hours later, right?
This might be hard to understand, but when people hurt you, they are often expressing pain of some form. Maybe the have a horrible family life, maybe they've been neglected or abused, etc... I know this does not make the pain less, but it might help your understanding.
It is very hard to forgive, especially at your age. But forgiveness sets you free.
You definitely have symptoms of social anxiety. Find ONE good friend to talk about all this. Don't spread it around. Make sure the person you talk to is 1000% trustworthy. Then just let it all out. Talk to your parents again too. It is important that they know how you feel.
I send you a blessing and a prayer.
Vince

[Irish Sammie]

Hey Mr.Wafflez :)

I know that you're going through a tough time in school and I had a tough time myself. I was bullied but never to an extreme level. I was excluded, made to look like an idiot at lunch time. (I remember one instance, that there was a lot of politics over who ate with who at the lunch tables. There were the cool tables, and the not so cool tables. I was happy with just the "sorta cool" tables. I'll never forget one day, I came in and supposedly saw none of the people I wanted to sit with. All the tables were taken apart from one, so I had no choice but to sit at this massive table by myself. Only to find, that after the bell (we all sat down once a bell rang) that just as I sat down, 8 people crawled from under one of the tables, purposefully so it would look like they weren't there and that I couldn't sit with them.

But anyway, enough about me! One thing that I wished I did when I was back in school, is play the bullies at their own game. If someone tried to insult me, tell me my bag looked stupid for example, that I agree with them. A bully feeds off reaction. You through them a huge curve ball if you agree with the insult they throw at you. "hey (insert name here), did your boyfriend buy you those shoes?"....answer...."Yeah, and then he brought me on a cruise. Just the two of us, it was so romantic!"...It would catch them off guard and if you played like that with them enough, they'll soon find it really boring to bully you.

People in your school mean NOTHING to you in the long run. Some of the luckiest people I know perhaps still know one, maybe two of their friends from school. I'm 30 and I don't see any of the people I used to hang out with, but that's fine as it's just one little step along the long road ahead of you. The good thing for you, is that the age that you're at now, you've realized these things about yourself so you can start working on yourself now. Remember, you will change over the next few years as new opportunities and challenges are provided to you. You're clearly a sensitive person, and people with those kinds of dispositions go on to do wonderful things in life.

[iLoveWafflez]

Thanks for the replies :D It already helps that someone is actually reading this! Does anyone have anything i could do with low self esteem and social anxiety? I am gonna try the talking to a friend, or my parents!

[Exactice]

Hey Wafflez, Its funny you brought this up about self esteem and social anxiety. I have never had an issue as I am the life of the party, BUT!!!!! I have met many people that have had difficulties and I have actually helped them.

I have a business networking group, Its designed to develop business referrals but also to develop business communications. What I have noticed is some people in business are not "People Persons". They are introverts, scared and have self esteem issues.

What our business group does, is puts them in a comfortable environment with other business people and we make them do a 60second presentation. Again only 60 seconds. All they need to do is tell us about themselves, who they are, what they do and what type of business they are looking for that week. The trick to this is, we do this every week. Slowly but surely they develop this 60 second skill, then eventually they shoot from the hip and it comes out natural. Of course they are nervous but after about 5 times, the get the hang of it and 60 seconds is to short!

Anyways, my point is, try to look for small social groups where you can interact. Specifically look for something of interest. A Sports group, a business group, a hobby group. Something you have common ground. Even if its online video game. Somewhere where you "Practice" your interaction skills and develop confidence! Low self esteem is fun to conquer as its not really a problem....its something you need to slowly develop! Social Anxiety. Well you dont have to meet people and be the life of the party, but you can just learn to communicate a few words "60 seconds" and still be very effective!

Good luck my friend!