mattg
07-12-2014, 07:59 AM
I've had anxiety and stress for as long as I remember. It got worse in the past 3 year. I started having back problems then. I have 3 bulging discs, degenerative disc disease, arthritis, horrible headaches/migraines pinched nerves which go to my arm and makes it weak and goes numb sometimes and the doctors say you aren't that bad. So having pain for the past years has added to it with no help. I've had my gallbladder taken out and I've been in worse pain from my back hurting than what it hurt from getting my gallbladder taken out, the pain from the surgery was nothing to me. Some days can't move much. Keeps me from finding a job because I can't stand or walk for long periods at a time. People don't understand my pain. They say just suck it up. It's hard to find a job. They aren't the ones that have to live with it. It has made my anxiety and stress worse. I just wish I knew what to do. I can't do most things I use to love doing. I'm 23 and people just look at me like I'm a loser because I don't have a job , some people tell me to just go get one. It's not that easy where I'm from. I have some social anxiety too at least I think. I'm not good at speaking in front of people, get nervous sometimes when I have to interact with allot of different people I don't know. People think I'm weird because of it, they say it's not normal to not want to be around people. I've been hurt by too many people to want to be around them. Why can't I be "normal". It got a little worse though after one of my friends passed away 2 years ago, he was like a brother to me. I grew up with him and couldn't imagine being without him and now he's gone. I went into depression for a year and couldn't sleep or do anything. Didn't want to be around anyone. Couldn't let people see me be week(since I've grew up being told showing emotion makes you week). I have too many regrets ,things I never got to tell him. He might be gone but I will never forget about him and all the good times we had. I just want to get to where I feel better.