How has anxiety affected your life?

[anx_taking_over_my_life]

Hello,
I'd thought I'd start this thread so that we can share how anxiety has affected our lives - from school, relationships, work, anything!

[solnyshko]

it has literally ruined my life.
i lost my dream girl because i couldn't handle the anxiety and panic attack from being separated in other countries and i tried to hide it as best as i could, or fight it. and i don't know how to communicate with her in distance or other people in general. we had an incredible relationship too and i, for the first time in my life, felt healthy and happy. she is making an effort to understand now and my panic attacks are so intense that i am pushing her away again and it doesn't stop. i have a hard time at work and sometimes i pass out over nothing. i have a hard time finding jobs because i am too afraid to apply. i look for any kind of relief and i have cuts and tattoos covering my whole body which makes me more different. i had to drop out of college when i almost had my degree after 3 attempts because i couldn't stop crying in public and i started throwing up in class. i only get groceries at night and i try to make sure no one sees me. i have gone out with friends 3 times in over a year. i lost all my money to try to find a way to help. i barely can pay my bills and i have a large debt. i wasn't always like this, i always had social anxiety and i always had depression but it did not become absolutely irreparable or unbearable until 4yrs ago today. it has ruined my life and i have barely been in sunlight for 4yrs. and i am so very tired. i tried to get help today from the county and no one was there.

[louisrapisarda]

it has social effected me. i get nervous but as they say fight ur demons.

[culinaryking]

hello iam 24 and i have had anxiety since i was about 18 when i had my anxiety under control due to paxil i started to embark on my career i found a passion for cooking i love cooking it make me happy. i really struggled with anxiety threw my year at chefs school. there were times when i wouild not go to school for days and make up exucess. i was almost kicked out but i pulled it together and graduated. now the cooking profeesion is a very stressfull enviroment. a alchohol and drugs use is very common among people in the cooking industry. i wonder if cooking is the right path for me. i have spent alot of time and money towards becoming a chef. it hurts to think i might hav to give it up something i have suck a passion for and which makes me happy. but on the other hand it may be fuling my anxiety. once in my life i was doing very well i was a sous chef at a very successful restaurant. i was making good money and had alot of responsibility and was trusted. i was of paxil and had minor problems with anxiety. then the day after my well deserved x mas break i came back to work to find out the restaurant was closing. at the time it did not really hit me i was kinda in shock. my anxiety started back up again when i had to go back to school for 6 moths to upgrade my course i think what triggered it was being back in the school i had such a bad experience with before. i remember many times throwing up before goin to class and goin to class starving of hunger. but in the end i did pass the final exam but it was not easy at all. after that i was unemployed for about 2 months then and old freind of mine which i looked up to got me a job in a kitchen that lasted a day after my long first shift i new that this was not going to work. i lost a very good friend because of that and i feel embarrassed and a failure. now i have a fear of getting a new job and have the same thing happin again. i have never been the same since the restuarant closed i lost alittle passion. well i guess thats it every time a write i only want to write alittle bit but i have so much to say so much bottled up inside. i have never really been able to talk to my family or friends about my anxiety. this is why i joined the forum it feels good to talk