Driving with anxiety

[stephanie21]

Is been about 2 years since I've been able to drive on a freeway
The most I can drive is a few miles from my house just to go get tea or food and someone has to be with me
I cannot be by myself anymore either
For the past 8 months I feel like I need a baby sitter for myself
I cannot be alone
Sadly I cannot be alone with my 2 year old almost 3 next month either
I freak out that he will be all alone if I fall an hit my head or choke or stop breathing.
When my son was born I felt like the best mother ever
Always on the go an when he turned about 7 months old I decided to get a breast reduction
After my breast reduction
I had a panic attack a few days later off of the meds.... I ignored it I was fine....
I decided to drive to the mall about a week later and my life had been changed ever since that day due to panicking on the free way an almost getting in a accident
That panic attack scared me an I was scared to have another... I could have crashed?
Now today my panic is more intense than ever
So what I'd like to ask you guys is has anyone had a rough 1 2 3 or 4+ years an have been able to go back to a place where they feel normal again?
Has anyone not driven for years an can drive like a pro again... :)
I get major adrenaline when I think in 5 years I will be exactly like this
I have great days too though where I feel like I can do anything even if it's just going grocery shopping without running to the car I feel like I accomplished something :)
I would be relieved to know someone has been in my place an has been able to
Drive an be independent again
I constantly read once you have anxiety an panic disorder it stays forever you just learn to deal with it. I haven't been able to mentally accept I will be this way forever it scares me but that's what my anxiety does! Scares me an worries me into a nervous wreck 24/7

[Dahila]

No sweetheart it is not forever, you learn how to fight with it. Some people do it without medication. I am on meds and meditate everyday for at least half an hour. I am old I am living with anxiety and depression and the thought about committing suicide at least for 40 years. I am still kicking.
Look at driving in different way. I love driving cause i feel free, I love the speed:) it was difficult to start driving, I had seen crashed body of mine every time I opened the door. I had crash my toyota on highway with the speed of 130 km/h meeting a pack of deer. I survived without a scratch. I was scary to drive on highway, and still is, but I get to drive to work every day. I think enjoying it is better option.
Anxiety is a fear which is imprinted in our DNA to protect us. In the world with such speed of life and constant waves of information, we react with anxiety. I believe everyone has it, most people just respond better to it. :) Nice to meet you Stephanie:)

[Prayer for Anxiety]

Stephanie,

Remember there are people that learn to drive in their 40s, so you can re-learn. Start small. Go for short drives, and then when you build up confidence you can try the freeway again. Get on the onramp and just drive one exit down the road. Build up from there.

Plus, there might be something related to your 2 y.o. and the surgery... not sure but something to think about.

[raggamuffin]

Work on driving daily. You have to face your fears. not convince yourself you're incapable of driving. of course you are, you just assume driving too far or in certain places will cause anxiety. To begin with it will and quite intense. But you have to face the fears and situations that cause most anxiety on a daily basis. Overcoming anxiety isn't easy and it takes a lot of willpower and above all, dedication. But it can be done. Facing your fears is one of the key steps. Engaging in safety behaviour to avoid that, which makes you anxious, only serves to empower the anxiety further.

Ed

[trinidiva]

I have/had major driving anxiety. I would get these little dizzy spells while driving on the freeway whixh were caused by anxiety. I got so nervous that I couldn't drive anywhere and was put on a driving restriction from my doctor. I finally got fed up and had to start forcing myself to drive short distances again. It was tough but I did it. Then just two weeks ago, I took my kids to a party at a beach more than an hour away from my home, mostly on the freeway. I had a post on here about it. I didn't go fast, but you know what? I made it, and thats all that counts. Making that trip gave me alot of confidence. Don't give up. Make short trips. If you need to pull over, thats ok...but at least keep trying. You will feel such a sense of accomplishment when you are able to do it.

[stephanie21]

Stephanie, Remember there are people that learn to drive in their 40s, so you can re-learn. Start small. Go for short drives, and then when you build up confidence you can try the freeway again. Get on the onramp and just drive one exit down the road. Build up from there. Plus, there might be something related to your 2 y.o. and the surgery... not sure but something to think about.

Thank you :) When I started therapy I thought..." is my son making me worse "an my therapist said its def not post partum but I did explain before my son I could care less if I died I was a young bartender who drank on the job everyday an drove home drunk most nights thinking these were the best days of my life for 2 years straight
I truly believe my son saved my life and if it wasn't for him I would be in jail with many DUIS or dead.... I had zero anxiety during my pregnancy an after I felt FEARLESS an like the best mom I could be until that one attack on the freeway an now I stay home to prevent myself from "dying" an leaving my son without a mommy...., I def care more now about death an it scares me I tried driving with my son recently an I had to pull over to cry hysterically because I couldn't control my symptoms/thoughts of being dizzy while driving an telling myself if I crash an hurt my son I would never forgive myself.
Baby steps have been a huge help when driving with another adult but baby steps aren't helping at all with driving with my son in the car :(

[Im-Suffering]

Thank you :) When I started therapy I thought..." is my son making me worse "an my therapist said its def not post partum but I did explain before my son I could care less if I died I was a young bartender who drank on the job everyday an drove home drunk most nights thinking these were the best days of my life for 2 years straight
I truly believe my son saved my life and if it wasn't for him I would be in jail with many DUIS or dead.... I had zero anxiety during my pregnancy an after I felt FEARLESS an like the best mom I could be until that one attack on the freeway an now I stay home to prevent myself from "dying" an leaving my son without a mommy...., I def care more now about death an it scares me I tried driving with my son recently an I had to pull over to cry hysterically because I couldn't control my symptoms/thoughts of being dizzy while driving an telling myself if I crash an hurt my son I would never forgive myself.
Baby steps have been a huge help when driving with another adult but baby steps aren't helping at all with driving with my son in the car :(

Then do not do it, do you understand?

(Begin personal reading for stephanie21) - (very strong message)

These issues are from long ago, just now triggered into relevancy, in a current time frame, by the vulnerability of your son. You considered yourself invulnerable, thus the excess, for a long time, rather you were expendable. (true feelings).

Those feelings are now tested, as you see value now, for the first in a long time, in your life and his.

Now, you will not overcome by driving around senseless, testing your luck per se, with him in the car. But rather by keeping out of the car until your psyche from childhood is healed.

This soul should be careful of testing ones-self in dangerous situations. And over indulgence. Continue therapy but also do the work on yourself outside the office before bed and quite times. (Beliefs/past trauma).

In regards to the other unanimous advice to practice driving, you know how to drive. Someone with fears of water, that quakes in their boots, you do not throw into the ocean, for they will drown. I behoove you to watch your footing. Until there is no emotional reaction to the issue. You must be able to picture safety, security in your mind, as much as you now picture dire circumstances, period.

And lastly, your son is not immune to your mental state. In fact he is quite in tune with it, telepathically, connected to his mother who will instill his belief system at this age. Should you continue in this manner, when he grows up he will exhibit this panic, and like the rest of you, he will not remember why. You will rebuke him for being a daredevil with no regard for self and you too will have forgotten why he is the way he is, and your involvement. He will find value in testing his worth, always on the brink of disaster, only he may fulfil your unrealized dreams of ending up imprisoned. This prison ofcourse can be a private hell as it all stems from fear. He will be prone to overindulgence both physically and emotionally, and once again, he will not know why. In this case the mother is advised to stabilize.

No exceptions, whether you believe in it or not.

You know who I am, look at my other posts in this forum.

End of personal reading.

[stephanie21]

If I made it sound like I wanted to die I totally didn't.... Looking back yes I was unhealthy for drinking all the time but if I had to stop Drinking no problem alcohol wasn't important part of my life I drank because I had the mentality of a young girl having fun making good money bartending an it made my job fun especially when friends would go in.... I never was the drinker that drank when I was sad I actually never felt sad... But maybe I was???? I felt so independent an confident an brave everyone loved my company an I loved myself..... So I thought.... I mean of coarse I had the days where I said I'm never drinking again but I never drank out of depression I felt I was having fun with friends an co workers doing it..... I was 21/22 just enjoying my life..... I had a good childhood no complaints arguments with parents but no complaints I was raised well.... I think the help of my anxiety was losing my independence... my fiancé asked me to to stop working when I became pregnant I agreed however he cheated on me after I had my son an I remember looking at my body an not feeling confident anymore we worked things out but after my breast reduction I felt worse! But I ask myself was this the major cause of me suffering the past 2 years? I just want to drive everywhere again with my son by my side an be normal like I used to be so it definitely makes me feel better knowing men an women have been through what I have with anxiety an felt normal an free again not trapped 24/7 I hate myself right now I feel disabled or like I'm trapped in jail I have good/bad days I'm thankful for the good but once my mind starts racing everything becomes negative :( right now I'm everything's negative because I have a racing mind. I understand what you're saying I feel as if I made it seem like I wanted to die or something I just feel like I wasn't scared to die if it was my time it was my time I was happy ... As to where now I'm scared of everyyyyytthingggg

[Prayer for Anxiety]

Wow Steph. Many of the things you say echo with me. I never had the overwhelming fear, but maybe I masked it with other things. The drinking history sounds hauntingly familiar.
There's obviously a lot more going on here than just driving anxiety. The drinking, family issues, body image... things that will take time to resolve. But you can do it.

Never, ever give up hope!

You're going to find a lot of useful advice here. What works for me is prayer. The issue has become kind of touchy here. If you want more advice on this, feel free to message me.

You are in my prayers,
Vince

[Im-Suffering]

If I made it sound like I wanted to die I totally didn't.... Looking back yes I was unhealthy for drinking all the time but if I had to stop Drinking no problem alcohol wasn't important part of my life I drank because I had the mentality of a young girl having fun making good money bartending an it made my job fun especially when friends would go in.... I never was the drinker that drank when I was sad I actually never felt sad... But maybe I was???? I felt so independent an confident an brave everyone loved my company an I loved myself..... So I thought.... I mean of coarse I had the days where I said I'm never drinking again but I never drank out of depression I felt I was having fun with friends an co workers doing it..... I was 21/22 just enjoying my life..... I had a good childhood no complaints arguments with parents but no complaints I was raised well.... I think the help of my anxiety was losing my independence... my fiancé asked me to to stop working when I became pregnant I agreed however he cheated on me after I had my son an I remember looking at my body an not feeling confident anymore we worked things out but after my breast reduction I felt worse! But I ask myself was this the major cause of me suffering the past 2 years? I just want to drive everywhere again with my son by my side an be normal like I used to be so it definitely makes me feel better knowing men an women have been through what I have with anxiety an felt normal an free again not trapped 24/7 I hate myself right now I feel disabled or like I'm trapped in jail I have good/bad days I'm thankful for the good but once my mind starts racing everything becomes negative :( right now I'm everything's negative because I have a racing mind. I understand what you're saying I feel as if I made it seem like I wanted to die or something I just feel like I wasn't scared to die if it was my time it was my time I was happy ... As to where now I'm scared of everyyyyytthingggg

When a man cheats, he strips you of confidence, personal power, security, safety, dignity, honor, self worth, esteem, feminine energy, independence, love, motherhood, wifehood, nurturing, comfort, a home, and leaves you empty of life force. It is the worst betrayal, very damaging to all concerned.

It does not matter if you work it out, you are powerless to act, financially and emotionally, and this he has done to you. As I said in the first post, your son is absorbing all this mental energy to use as a life guide, ideals, moral, character, and the man he will grow into.

Therefor it is not ok to cheat on mommy, strip her of her money, security, and safety. If this is your message to him, then he will be as his father is. It is ok to be abusive to woman.

Your childhood was not perfect as you say. You have abandonment issues, low esteem and worth, and fear criticism, for you have lost your voice and accept anything that comes your way. At some point early on your parents may have had the same struggles you have now. The low esteem did not come from him cheating, but was the reason for the cheating, and this you picked up long ago.

It is not ok, period. Reread my first post, there are many messages in it.

Begin at once to regain a sense of personal power, financially and emotionally, do not allow yourself to be controlled. Listen !

You can either whither away, or take back your life. You always have a choice, let your son give you the strength you need now, for you want him morally sound, his future. Kind, generous, loving, faithful, secure, in his treatment of woman, period.


Underline faithful.

It is not that you are fearful of driving, you are fearful of driving back home, for youd rather take your son and drive away, and honestly the further you got, the less anxious youd be.

That is all.

[needtogetwell]

Sound advice Im-suffering.

Put a plan in place.... Think of how you can achieve what you need and then get far far away from this man. Your future and your sons depends on it. The driving thing will fall into place as you start to manage the other issues.

[stephanie21]

Wow Steph. Many of the things you say echo with me. I never had the overwhelming fear, but maybe I masked it with other things. The drinking history sounds hauntingly familiar. There's obviously a lot more going on here than just driving anxiety. The drinking, family issues, body image... things that will take time to resolve. But you can do it. Never, ever give up hope! You're going to find a lot of useful advice here. What works for me is prayer. The issue has become kind of touchy here. If you want more advice on this, feel free to message me. You are in my prayers, Vince

Thank you :) I would love more advice an would be happy to message you

[stephanie21]

When a man cheats, he strips you of confidence, personal power, security, safety, dignity, honor, self worth, esteem, feminine energy, independence, love, motherhood, wifehood, nurturing, comfort, a home, and leaves you empty of life force. It is the worst betrayal, very damaging to all concerned. It does not matter if you work it out, you are powerless to act, financially and emotionally, and this he has done to you. As I said in the first post, your son is absorbing all this mental energy to use as a life guide, ideals, moral, character, and the man he will grow into. Therefor it is not ok to cheat on mommy, strip her of her money, security, and safety. If this is your message to him, then he will be as his father is. It is ok to be abusive to woman. Your childhood was not perfect as you say. You have abandonment issues, low esteem and worth, and fear criticism, for you have lost your voice and accept anything that comes your way. At some point early on your parents may have had the same struggles you have now. The low esteem did not come from him cheating, but was the reason for the cheating, and this you picked up long ago. It is not ok, period. Reread my first post, there are many messages in it. Begin at once to regain a sense of personal power, financially and emotionally, do not allow yourself to be controlled. Listen ! You can either whither away, or take back your life. You always have a choice, let your son give you the strength you need now, for you want him morally sound, his future. Kind, generous, loving, faithful, secure, in his treatment of woman, period. Underline faithful. It is not that you are fearful of driving, you are fearful of driving back home, for youd rather take your son and drive away, and honestly the further you got, the less anxious youd be. That is all.


Thank you for that
I became really sad reading this because I feel all of those feelings exactly after being cheated on
I have my insecurities an I love my fiancé very much. I just hurt to think of life without my family an question if I would be mentally healthier and happier if I started a new journey with just my son an myself.
It's tough I tell myself what if that's not even the problem.... But what if it is.... I just know having that one panic attack scared me to death an I feared having another an I have had worse now! but I get more adrenaline knowing what triggered it.... I know I have to figure something out... I CANNOT go 5 more years feeling like this.

["just want to be normal"]

You are not alone. I myself have a hard time driving anymore. I am always afraid something "bad" is going to happen. I just try to take it slow and I am always paying attention to cars around me. I have had numerous close calls people pulling out in front of me side swiping me etc. It is very scary. I was taught a breathing techquine that seems to really help. Breathe in through your nose slowly count to ten (make sure your pushing your stomach out not in) then slowly breathe out through your mouth and count backwards. I dothis every time I feel panicky. I hope this help. And you can do it.