Advice please! I'm panicking!

[MaloryR.]

For as long as I can recall, I've been insanely phobic of getting a job. I've worried, made excuses, and avoided it like a pro, but the longer I put it off, the more I felt it pressing down on me. I'm twenty-one years old now! I kept thinking. If I can't get a handle on this now, I'll never have any work experience when I need to apply for an actually career, and I'll end up homeless. I have a tendency to catastrophize, you see.

Anyway, I recently decided to overcome my fears by conquering them one by one. Getting a job has always been one of my Big Three anxiety-inducers, and I intended to put it off as I tackled smaller ones first. Last night, however, I sent out an application to Payless, mostly just to prove to myself that I could, and skirting by on the assumption that they probably wouldn't call anyway. Then, they did. This morning. And they asked me to go in for an interview within the hour.

So, in a state of panic, I decided not to give myself time to think about it (because that's often my downfall), and go for it. I was sweating and nauseated and foggy-headed.

Somehow, I got the job. I honestly don't know what happened. I can't remember the interview too well, but I gather I did well.

Now, I'm here. FREAKING OUT. I haven't eaten all day because I'm queasy, I haven't been able to sit still, and just knowing that I need to go in three days from now to start training has me in a tizzy. What if I screw up? What if I don't learn fast enough? What if I can't understand the manager's accent? What if someone comes in, and they speak Spanish, and I don't speak Spanish? What if I get sick one day and have to call out, but he thinks I'm lying and fires me? What if WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF I'M GOING TO MAKE MYSELF THROW UP.

I know that my thought process is toxic right now, and that I'm not doing myself any favors by dwelling on possibilities that might never even come to pass, but nothing I'm currently trying is helping me to knock it off for more than a few minutes.

Please. If there are any of you who've been in a similar situation, could you tell me how you got through it? How did you overcome your fear? What was the outcome?

Also, have any of you worked in retail? Can you tell me what it's like? How do you handle anxiety-inducing situations when they occur while at work?

Gosh, that's a lot of questions. I'm sorry for the ramble. Any and all advice would be more than appreciated. You have no idea how much I need it right now! <:] Thanks to everyone.

[tired0319]

Hi Mallory,

I don't share your exact fear but I can definitely relate to the symptoms. I would try "naming your anxiety" and talking to it. For example, when those "what if" thoughts pop in your head speak back to the... "Who cares if I can't speak Spanish. I'll refer to someone I can... This is just my anxiety bullying me." It's hard but eventually this will lesson the power of your thoughts. The less you react the weaker their impact will be on you. Also, when you get to training tell your boss/coworker that this is your first job and you're a bit nervous but excited. I'm sure you'll do great! You should be very proud of yourself for taking such a huge step!!

[Im-Suffering]

For as long as I can recall, I've been insanely phobic of getting a job. I've worried, made excuses, and avoided it like a pro, but the longer I put it off, the more I felt it pressing down on me. I'm twenty-one years old now! I kept thinking. If I can't get a handle on this now, I'll never have any work experience when I need to apply for an actually career, and I'll end up homeless. I have a tendency to catastrophize, you see.

Anyway, I recently decided to overcome my fears by conquering them one by one. Getting a job has always been one of my Big Three anxiety-inducers, and I intended to put it off as I tackled smaller ones first. Last night, however, I sent out an application to Payless, mostly just to prove to myself that I could, and skirting by on the assumption that they probably wouldn't call anyway. Then, they did. This morning. And they asked me to go in for an interview within the hour.

So, in a state of panic, I decided not to give myself time to think about it (because that's often my downfall), and go for it. I was sweating and nauseated and foggy-headed.

Somehow, I got the job. I honestly don't know what happened. I can't remember the interview too well, but I gather I did well.

Now, I'm here. FREAKING OUT. I haven't eaten all day because I'm queasy, I haven't been able to sit still, and just knowing that I need to go in three days from now to start training has me in a tizzy. What if I screw up? What if I don't learn fast enough? What if I can't understand the manager's accent? What if someone comes in, and they speak Spanish, and I don't speak Spanish? What if I get sick one day and have to call out, but he thinks I'm lying and fires me? What if WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF I'M GOING TO MAKE MYSELF THROW UP.

I know that my thought process is toxic right now, and that I'm not doing myself any favors by dwelling on possibilities that might never even come to pass, but nothing I'm currently trying is helping me to knock it off for more than a few minutes.

Please. If there are any of you who've been in a similar situation, could you tell me how you got through it? How did you overcome your fear? What was the outcome?

Also, have any of you worked in retail? Can you tell me what it's like? How do you handle anxiety-inducing situations when they occur while at work?

Gosh, that's a lot of questions. I'm sorry for the ramble. Any and all advice would be more than appreciated. You have no idea how much I need it right now! <:] Thanks to everyone.

The dominant thought is "ill end up homeless" and that thought cares not if you work. In your family the male figure had tremendous fear of poverty, and the dominant female, insecure.

You cannot shake the fear of poverty, which will leave you immobilized, and frozen with panic.

For your edification, and self study. (Look to your childhood) - and compare the following with your beliefs:

SYMPTOMS OF THE FEAR OF POVERTY

INDIFFERENCE.

Commonly expressed through lack of ambition; willingness to tolerate poverty; acceptance of whatever compensation life may offer without protest; mental and physical laziness; lack of initiative, imagination, enthusiasm and self-control

INDECISION.

The habit of permitting others to do one's thinking. Staying "on the fence."

DOUBT.

Generally expressed through alibis and excuses designed to cover up, explain away, or apologize for one's failures, sometimes expressed in the form of envy of those who are successful, or by criticising them.

WORRY.

Usually expressed by finding fault with others, a tendency to spend beyond one's income, neglect of personal appearance, scowling and frowning; intemperance in the use of alcoholic drink, sometimes through the use of narcotics; nervousness, lack of poise, self-consciousness and lack of self-reliance.

OVER-CAUTION.

The habit of looking for the negative side of every circumstance, thinking and talking of possible failure instead of concentrating upon the means of succeeding. Knowing all the roads to disaster, but never searching for the plans to avoid failure. Waiting for "the right time" to begin putting ideas and plans into action, until the waiting becomes a permanent habit. Remembering those who have failed, and forgetting those who have



succeeded. Seeing the hole in the doughnut, but overlooking the doughnut. Pessimism, leading to indigestion, poor elimination, autointoxication, bad breath and bad disposition.

PROCRASTINATION.

The habit of putting off until tomorrow that which should have been done last year. Spending enough time in creating alibis and excuses to have done the job. This symptom is closely related to over-caution, doubt and worry. Refusal to accept responsibility when it can be avoided. Willingness to compromise rather than put up a stiff fight. Compromising with difficulties instead of harnessing and using them as stepping stones to advancement. Bargaining with Life for a penny, instead of demanding prosperity, opulence, riches, contentment and happiness. Planning what to do IF AND WHEN OVERTAKEN BY FAILURE, INSTEAD OF BURNING ALL BRIDGES AND MAKING RETREAT IMPOSSIBLE. Weakness of, and often total lack of self-confidence, definiteness of purpose, self-control, initiative, enthusiasm, ambition, thrift and sound reasoning ability. EXPECTING POVERTY INSTEAD OF DEMANDING RICHES. Association with those who accept poverty instead of seeking the company of those who demand and receive riches