Newbie42
07-04-2014, 12:07 PM
So my backstory... I struggled with social anxiety all through school, at some points I was almost mute. Almost 10 years later and I have reached what you could call 'functioning' social anxiety - I can put myself in situations where there is nobody I know, I can hold a conversation, outwardly I probably look calm if a little quiet even if inside I still panic every time there is a social situation approaching, I've just learnt to control it outwardly.
I've recently (2 months) started a new job where everybody on my team has been there for years and are very close-knit. I enjoy the work and everybody's very nice and I do chat and share my stories sometimes which is a massive achievement for me as I have quit or constantly thought about quitting every other job I've ever had due to anxiety around my colleagues.
The problem is that I am worrying 24/7 about what my team think of me. Because I'm new to the job and they're all so experienced I'm scared to make any mistakes, but then I'm paranoid if I ask that they'll think I'm not up to the job. I worry constantly that if they don't like me enough I'll either get fired or never get promoted.
Every time my manager gives a task to my counterpart to do instead of me it sparks off a whole night of worrying she doesn't think I can do the task. Every time one of the managers asks another if they can have a word in private I'm paranoid it's about me. Two of the team like football and even though I've tried to make it clear to them I like football too they never include me in their conversations which only gets me down more. Sometimes I worry that because I try to appear friendly and in control they might not even know that I need a little nurturing and welcoming into their conversations and might just think I'm stand-offish.
I try to tell myself it doesn't matter - my manager has said I'm doing well, everybody is nice, and it's just a job. When I come home at night I should forget all about it and make the most of my evenings but I can't - I just replay conversations and emails in my head and worry.
Does anybody have any tips for surviving anxiety at work when your colleagues have no idea?
I've recently (2 months) started a new job where everybody on my team has been there for years and are very close-knit. I enjoy the work and everybody's very nice and I do chat and share my stories sometimes which is a massive achievement for me as I have quit or constantly thought about quitting every other job I've ever had due to anxiety around my colleagues.
The problem is that I am worrying 24/7 about what my team think of me. Because I'm new to the job and they're all so experienced I'm scared to make any mistakes, but then I'm paranoid if I ask that they'll think I'm not up to the job. I worry constantly that if they don't like me enough I'll either get fired or never get promoted.
Every time my manager gives a task to my counterpart to do instead of me it sparks off a whole night of worrying she doesn't think I can do the task. Every time one of the managers asks another if they can have a word in private I'm paranoid it's about me. Two of the team like football and even though I've tried to make it clear to them I like football too they never include me in their conversations which only gets me down more. Sometimes I worry that because I try to appear friendly and in control they might not even know that I need a little nurturing and welcoming into their conversations and might just think I'm stand-offish.
I try to tell myself it doesn't matter - my manager has said I'm doing well, everybody is nice, and it's just a job. When I come home at night I should forget all about it and make the most of my evenings but I can't - I just replay conversations and emails in my head and worry.
Does anybody have any tips for surviving anxiety at work when your colleagues have no idea?