scared to fly and husband keeps pushing the issue

[trinidiva]

I have always been scared to fly, ever since I was a child. I only fly only about once a year, for that reason. I have to take sedatives to fly and experience a ton of stress and lack of sleep beforehand worrying about the safety on the flight. I literally always feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest when taking off and when we are in the air. Anyway, my husband, knowing this just continues to badger me about going places where we have to fly, or even if we could drive, he obviously wants to fly to save time. He keeps saying how it is unfair to him...but I feel like he isn't considering how traumatic every flight is for me. I do understand wanting to travel....but darn....I am just terrified to fly and I don't think that will ever change. Is anyone in the same boat?

[Im-Suffering]

I have always been scared to fly, ever since I was a child. I only fly only about once a year, for that reason. I have to take sedatives to fly and experience a ton of stress and lack of sleep beforehand worrying about the safety on the flight. I literally always feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest when taking off and when we are in the air. Anyway, my husband, knowing this just continues to badger me about going places where we have to fly, or even if we could drive, he obviously wants to fly to save time. He keeps saying how it is unfair to him...but I feel like he isn't considering how traumatic every flight is for me. I do understand wanting to travel....but darn....I am just terrified to fly and I don't think that will ever change. Is anyone in the same boat?

Usually in ones life there will be those that only serve as triggers. Now, you can do one of two things. get rid of the trigger (him), or change that which is in you that gets triggered. In the meantime tell him firmly to back off.

Do not accept the badgering because of guilt. There is no shame in self, regardless of anxiety and feeling guilty about it, period. So you hold your head up even amidst the panic.

Hold your head up.

[trinidiva]

Thanks for the response.....I actually stopped talking about it and then he brought it up again. Im just annoyed but I am also trying to see things from his side too. I know he wants to travel and see new places but I don't think he is grasping that my fear of flying is a little more than...just a general "I don't like to fly" feeling....its feelings of absolute terror.

[Im-Suffering]

Thanks for the response.....I actually stopped talking about it and then he brought it up again. Im just annoyed but I am also trying to see things from his side too. I know he wants to travel and see new places but I don't think he is grasping that my fear of flying is a little more than...just a general "I don't like to fly" feeling....its feelings of absolute terror.

Listen, do not lose the message. Flying has nothing to do with it.

Shame, guilt, self worth, self image, has everything to do with it. And it means everything. (How you feel about yourself)

We do not see you as a martyr, if so, and in this case, that would be further destructive overall.

More importantly would be to assert and express. And not to be bothered by both your decision, or the one who loves you most. Underline that.

Lastly for you today, in your life, whether you feel good or badly about self, will determine day to day triggers from your peers, that are meant to amplify your feeling. Turning up the volume to catch your attention to how you feel inside. You cannot hide therefor from thy truth, you see.

In a neutral manner, 'I will not fly' has no attraction and remains as is. And is honored.

In a psychological environment of negative emotions toward self, 'I will not fly' will be repeatedly shoved back at you in the form of irritants.

Do you understand? The sooner the better for it is the law.