Misunderstood?

[Chaized]

My social anxiety is getting forever worse and I think that's due to my friends not understanding the depth of this disorder and thinking I'm being a bitch or in a bad mood... When the only reason I haven't spoken to them is because I literally can't...

They haven't even tried to understand what I'm going through so I want to just brush it off and say they're not worth it... But having no friends is hard, and having "friends" think I'm being a bitch when I'm not so even harder..

Just a chance to vent here I suppose, I hate being misunderstood and literally just want to be able to scream to everyone that I have severe anxiety- I'm not a bitch... But then I'm scared of the backlash that may cause???

So frustrating!

[Anne1221]

Just try your best to explain to them in the nicest way possible. My friend who is physically sick has the same problem. No one understands her because she is always too sick to do anything. Do you best to meet your friends as much as you can and try your best not to judge them if you can.

[Chaized]

... I don't judge them, I try my best to hide my social anxiety but it's so painfully hard and almost never works..

And I have, I had a sit down with my friend and explained everything to her a couple of weeks back, thats why it hurts so much now.

But thank you for replying anyway :)

[Pumpkin]

Hey Chaized! I can relate to your post.

My friends often get mad at me when i don't want to go out because i work the next morning. They tell me i can still go out and drink with them but they don't realize and understand that i am an anxious person and need time to wind down and give myself time to prepare for the next day.

Sometimes i feel like a burden on them as well... most of the girls i hangout with like to dress up and go out and spend time at bars/clubs but i'm rarely ever down for that. I like to lounge in jeans and a shirt and just hang in small groups. It's hard and we often bump heads because i'm always turning down plans and i feel like they hate me.

I'ts a crappy feeling but just know that ur friends still care. My friends have told me multiple times that they care about me but sometimes i find it hard to believe.

Good luck.. stay positive and just focus on your anxiety. If your friends are your true friends, they will come around.

[Kixxi]

Dear Chaized,

I was quite lucky with my anxiety disorder since most of my friends really understood what I was going through. Unfortunately I had one friend that did not get the severity of it and when we were out one night I got a really bad anxiety and panic attack and I really wanted to go home. This friend however, did not want to leave at all and I spend most of my night outside hyperventilating. Having gone through a similar situation I can suggest you the following:

1. Don't feel afraid or forced not to talk about your anxiety to your friends. If they are really your friends they will understand and help you. Mostly they don't really "get it". They have no experience with this type of situation, so it is hard for them to try and help you when it happens.
2. Suggest some stuff to your friends that they can do to help. For me these were statements like: It is okay, you are just having a panic attack, These feelings will pass, You deserve to feel okay right now, I am right here and nothing will happen to you.
3. Talk to people that are in a similar situation (like here, so you are doing really well by posting here). They will fully understand you and will help you in any way they can to make this easier on you.
4. Find some ways to "adjust". For example, my anxiety is in public places. When I get extremely anxious I try to find a quiet spot away from the hustle and bustle. Usually that is something silly like a toilet, or when I'm walking down the street a quiet little side street or next to a soothing tree. You can adjust wherever you are, it just takes some figuring out.
5. Exercise some breathing techniques that can help you put your body at rest and eventually your mind. It does take some time to get this working properly during an attack, but I can assure you that it is worth it.

And last but not least, if you need someone to talk to, you can always drop me a message ;)