Slammed Vdub
06-28-2014, 09:00 PM
Ok so i decided to let it all out after what it feels like anxiety and OCD hitting me like a truck after a year or two with no issues.
So this all started or me in 2010 when i started college. I was diagnosed with GAD and OCD (thoughts). From 2012 till the last few months i was completely fine. I was my old happy self and it was awesome. Then all of the sudden is was all back. I have always been scared of throwing up ever since i was little. Not any time i have any sort of pain, i start to shack and fear that im going to puke. I dont know why it bothers me so much but it always has. Anything body related will ALWAYS set off my anxiety and OCD. i wont be able to stop thinking of the pain or being sick which makes it so much worse. Lately this has been rough on me.
Now for the OCD. That feeling of impending doom around every corner haunts me. I fear that i will loose control of myself or something will happen to me in the car or whatever else i am doing that day. When my girlfriend sleeps over all i can think is what could go wrong. If i stay distracted with video games or work i am fine. No OCD or anxiety issues. It is only when i am sitting around i like daze off and just think of the worst. I think that im going no where, or something will happen because something i did. If i dont say to my girlfriend at night "ill text you when im at work," than i feel like i wont make it to work. Or if i do something i dont usually do then it can only end poorly. Its like i need the basic routine to feel comfortable. Or some other bullshit like that. I am scared to sleep other places again and im scared to go to NJ for a car show coming up. Im scared of having the thoughts which then makes me have the thoughts. I am loosing happiness from my hobbies even now because i can only think of negative thoughts no matter what. Its very hard to stay distracted now. It seems like everything that happens i need a reason/excuse for. I cant deal with the unknown. Im not sure how i beat this before but i need to do it again. This is very irritating.
I noticed it come back after i realized i wasnt happy with my job. I want a more eventful career with more excitement and adventure. I have been looking into the coast guard for a while now. I am currently a co-owner of a high end detail and coating shop for higher end vehicles. Its like im stuck in a depression hole and i just want to climb out and find better things. But i cant just leave because my girlfriend is going through some rough times right now which brings me down and makes me worry. I wonder if this career change and not being happy with my current situation is leading to all of this ocd and anxiety lately along with financial stress. Also the fear that my passion for cars is fading. Its like im just an unhappy person and unable to be pleased right now always living in fear.
thanks for reading, any thoughts?
So this all started or me in 2010 when i started college. I was diagnosed with GAD and OCD (thoughts). From 2012 till the last few months i was completely fine. I was my old happy self and it was awesome. Then all of the sudden is was all back. I have always been scared of throwing up ever since i was little. Not any time i have any sort of pain, i start to shack and fear that im going to puke. I dont know why it bothers me so much but it always has. Anything body related will ALWAYS set off my anxiety and OCD. i wont be able to stop thinking of the pain or being sick which makes it so much worse. Lately this has been rough on me.
Now for the OCD. That feeling of impending doom around every corner haunts me. I fear that i will loose control of myself or something will happen to me in the car or whatever else i am doing that day. When my girlfriend sleeps over all i can think is what could go wrong. If i stay distracted with video games or work i am fine. No OCD or anxiety issues. It is only when i am sitting around i like daze off and just think of the worst. I think that im going no where, or something will happen because something i did. If i dont say to my girlfriend at night "ill text you when im at work," than i feel like i wont make it to work. Or if i do something i dont usually do then it can only end poorly. Its like i need the basic routine to feel comfortable. Or some other bullshit like that. I am scared to sleep other places again and im scared to go to NJ for a car show coming up. Im scared of having the thoughts which then makes me have the thoughts. I am loosing happiness from my hobbies even now because i can only think of negative thoughts no matter what. Its very hard to stay distracted now. It seems like everything that happens i need a reason/excuse for. I cant deal with the unknown. Im not sure how i beat this before but i need to do it again. This is very irritating.
I noticed it come back after i realized i wasnt happy with my job. I want a more eventful career with more excitement and adventure. I have been looking into the coast guard for a while now. I am currently a co-owner of a high end detail and coating shop for higher end vehicles. Its like im stuck in a depression hole and i just want to climb out and find better things. But i cant just leave because my girlfriend is going through some rough times right now which brings me down and makes me worry. I wonder if this career change and not being happy with my current situation is leading to all of this ocd and anxiety lately along with financial stress. Also the fear that my passion for cars is fading. Its like im just an unhappy person and unable to be pleased right now always living in fear.
thanks for reading, any thoughts?