Onlyme
06-25-2014, 11:33 AM
Hi i am completely new to this forum,i searched the internet for support and found this place and am hoping someone can relate in some way to what i am going through.
I have been agoraphobic for 17 years now,i can go out but only if my husband is with me and only to certain places,these places must feel familiar to me too and i will map out the journeys in my mind and visualize them,so in my mind i will go through each stage road by road noting any landmarks to give me something to store in my mind and keep it familiar.
About 6-8 times each summer we visit the beach,it is lots of small roads and little towns on the way,i still get the fear but i manage it the best i can using the technique of mapping it out first.
Sounds fine so far but something has happened that i can't make sense of and i am going out of my mind with fear and anxiety,i can barely function,i have anxiety disorder too so it's one big mess.
We went to the beach on saturday and all was well,came home and had anxiety sunday and monday which i put down to the heat we have here at the moment,yesterday i started trying to map the journey again,i don't even know why,we are not going back for a couple of weeks at least but i was doing it and in my mind i came to a road and could not remember it! My brain stuck,i could not see this road in my mind,only the ones before and after.
It got so bad that my husband drove me up it to try to help and yes i did remember it but back at home it dissapeared again and now when i think of it i feel like i know it is there,i know what it looks like but that i have never been on that road and i feel competely unfamiliar with it,everything before and after that one road is there in my mind though.
I spoke to my mental health team and they said i must try to stop thinking about it but i just can't so i wonder if anyone can relate to this? I even have some photos of this road but it still looks alien,it is only 4 miles and takes about 5 minutes to go through but i just need it to feel familiar again because the anxiety it is causing me is crippling.
I should add that i do not drive,it is my husband driving and i am the passenger so i am safe,not in charge of a car etc but so,so afraid.
I have been agoraphobic for 17 years now,i can go out but only if my husband is with me and only to certain places,these places must feel familiar to me too and i will map out the journeys in my mind and visualize them,so in my mind i will go through each stage road by road noting any landmarks to give me something to store in my mind and keep it familiar.
About 6-8 times each summer we visit the beach,it is lots of small roads and little towns on the way,i still get the fear but i manage it the best i can using the technique of mapping it out first.
Sounds fine so far but something has happened that i can't make sense of and i am going out of my mind with fear and anxiety,i can barely function,i have anxiety disorder too so it's one big mess.
We went to the beach on saturday and all was well,came home and had anxiety sunday and monday which i put down to the heat we have here at the moment,yesterday i started trying to map the journey again,i don't even know why,we are not going back for a couple of weeks at least but i was doing it and in my mind i came to a road and could not remember it! My brain stuck,i could not see this road in my mind,only the ones before and after.
It got so bad that my husband drove me up it to try to help and yes i did remember it but back at home it dissapeared again and now when i think of it i feel like i know it is there,i know what it looks like but that i have never been on that road and i feel competely unfamiliar with it,everything before and after that one road is there in my mind though.
I spoke to my mental health team and they said i must try to stop thinking about it but i just can't so i wonder if anyone can relate to this? I even have some photos of this road but it still looks alien,it is only 4 miles and takes about 5 minutes to go through but i just need it to feel familiar again because the anxiety it is causing me is crippling.
I should add that i do not drive,it is my husband driving and i am the passenger so i am safe,not in charge of a car etc but so,so afraid.