Venting, or something. I don't know what the hell I'm doing to be honest.

[ashly1221]

Hey everyone, I'm back.

Haven't been on here in a while, as I was busy with school and whatnot.

Done school now, and am now on the search for a job. Not as stressful as I thought it would be to be completely honest. So that's the good news.

Bad news is that while I was busy with school and barely ever home ( I was home a couple nights a week 3 nights max. for about 7 weeks ) my fiancé decided to be a complete asshole again.

Now, I realize this is more of a personal dilemma, not so much a symptom of anxiety but it is causing me A LOT of anxiety, I am losing sleep, feeling depressed ect. All the fun stuff, I'm sure you understand.

So let me elaborate on how my fiancé (?) is an asshole.

It was brought to my attention by another female that him and her had been engaging in 'sexting' (her words not mine) and these texts included photos.
Just gonna let you think about that for a second.

Anywho, there was no sex involved. Just steamy photos and text messages.

There is a history with this other woman, or homewrecker, whatever you want to call her. Him and I have been together for 4 years now, and she has been continuing to try to invite herself over to our home, telling him she loves him and would do anything to be with him bla bla fucking bla. So she had really been trying to get inbetween us for a while, explaining she would do anything and give anything to be me so that she could be with him and all that maniac stuff. She had been continually sending him seductive natured text messages and one night he was drinking and I wasn't home and he gave in.

That is the story he told me.

mhmm. Because I was born yesterday, right?

After I found out, I didn't come home for a while, I stayed at my parents farm to think about things. I eventually did come home. And we talked, but not as much as I would like to. I think I would just keep saying the same things over and over again like a broken record, but I just feel like I am not going to just 'poof' get over it.

I realize he did not have sex with her, that much I know for a fact, because we live quite far from the city she lives in. And my brother lives in our guest room, so I would know instantly if we had company over when I wasn't home, and I would know if he went out somewhere alone ect.

I honestly just don't know what to make of this. I know he didn't physically cheat on me, but it hurts just the same. I don't understand why he would even do something like that in the first place. I know for a fact I am not an unattractive person, I know our sex life is definitely better than the average couple and I never say a peep when he watches porn when I am not home, it's a guy thing, and I get that and it doesn't bother me. We talk regularly, but obviously not getting 100% honesty from him or he would have brought it to my attention that this female was 'bothering' him in the first place right?

I just don't know, we are supposed to be getting married in a year, we have a house together, a dog together and this issue aside, a good relationship. Which obviously needs better communication. I just don't know though, if I get over this and trust him again, is it going to happen again? Was there more that happened with other people that I just don't know about? Should I walk away now and avoid more issues in the future..... there is just so much to consider, and I cannot sleep at night, I just lay there and run all of this and more through my head. It's at the point where I don't even want to be at home anymore because I feel so sad being here. And to him, nothing had changed. He goes about him normal stuff no problem and I am sitting here miserable and feeling like a sac of shit.

That's my rant. I don't expect any responses to this because there really is not a whole lot that can be done. Something I have to sort out myself but it helps to just get it off my chest and who knows, maybe someone else on here has had a similar issue and can advise on that.

Thanks for reading, cheers.

[Im-Suffering]

Hey everyone, I'm back.

Haven't been on here in a while, as I was busy with school and whatnot.

Done school now, and am now on the search for a job. Not as stressful as I thought it would be to be completely honest. So that's the good news.

Bad news is that while I was busy with school and barely ever home ( I was home a couple nights a week 3 nights max. for about 7 weeks ) my fiancé decided to be a complete asshole again.

Now, I realize this is more of a personal dilemma, not so much a symptom of anxiety but it is causing me A LOT of anxiety, I am losing sleep, feeling depressed ect. All the fun stuff, I'm sure you understand.

So let me elaborate on how my fiancé (?) is an asshole.

It was brought to my attention by another female that him and her had been engaging in 'sexting' (her words not mine) and these texts included photos.
Just gonna let you think about that for a second.

Anywho, there was no sex involved. Just steamy photos and text messages.

There is a history with this other woman, or homewrecker, whatever you want to call her. Him and I have been together for 4 years now, and she has been continuing to try to invite herself over to our home, telling him she loves him and would do anything to be with him bla bla fucking bla. So she had really been trying to get inbetween us for a while, explaining she would do anything and give anything to be me so that she could be with him and all that maniac stuff. She had been continually sending him seductive natured text messages and one night he was drinking and I wasn't home and he gave in.

That is the story he told me.

mhmm. Because I was born yesterday, right?

After I found out, I didn't come home for a while, I stayed at my parents farm to think about things. I eventually did come home. And we talked, but not as much as I would like to. I think I would just keep saying the same things over and over again like a broken record, but I just feel like I am not going to just 'poof' get over it.

I realize he did not have sex with her, that much I know for a fact, because we live quite far from the city she lives in. And my brother lives in our guest room, so I would know instantly if we had company over when I wasn't home, and I would know if he went out somewhere alone ect.

I honestly just don't know what to make of this. I know he didn't physically cheat on me, but it hurts just the same. I don't understand why he would even do something like that in the first place. I know for a fact I am not an unattractive person, I know our sex life is definitely better than the average couple and I never say a peep when he watches porn when I am not home, it's a guy thing, and I get that and it doesn't bother me. We talk regularly, but obviously not getting 100% honesty from him or he would have brought it to my attention that this female was 'bothering' him in the first place right?

I just don't know, we are supposed to be getting married in a year, we have a house together, a dog together and this issue aside, a good relationship. Which obviously needs better communication. I just don't know though, if I get over this and trust him again, is it going to happen again? Was there more that happened with other people that I just don't know about? Should I walk away now and avoid more issues in the future..... there is just so much to consider, and I cannot sleep at night, I just lay there and run all of this and more through my head. It's at the point where I don't even want to be at home anymore because I feel so sad being here. And to him, nothing had changed. He goes about him normal stuff no problem and I am sitting here miserable and feeling like a sac of shit.

That's my rant. I don't expect any responses to this because there really is not a whole lot that can be done. Something I have to sort out myself but it helps to just get it off my chest and who knows, maybe someone else on here has had a similar issue and can advise on that.

Thanks for reading, cheers.


Here is your reading, channeled, (finally a playful reading!!). Let us begin:

Out of your whole post, I've underlined the only 2 statements that mean anything (above in the quote). Truth be told, you are independent. You have been tinkering with thoughts of your own life, work, living conditions, and daydreaming to a certain degree about what you will do once school is finished.

And in some of those dreams, you flew solo, and it felt good. Now you are conflicted and unsure, and thus your boyfriend is conflicted and unsure, but he is only tinkering with his exploits, playfully, just as you are.

Neither of you are in the deep end, you are both just waddling in the kiddy pool with life vests, just in case of emergency.

He is mirroring your beliefs, and you get to live out how you feel inside, firsthand. He then becomes a pseudo asshole as you play with probabilities of a new life as you go it alone, new job, etc, or with another guy, unattached. Making him the pseudo ass, you relieve your psychological guilt, just a bit, enough to dream at least of a life without him, without feeling too badly.

Playing with these ideas, and since he is basically decent, you feel guilt, hence you feel like a sac of shit. To you, these two people are idiots. Marrying an idiot with his accomplice in tow, makes you feel like an idiot.

Now, set yourself straight, look at your truth, well, truthfully (I have got you started)...be true to self, honor your feelings, and knock off the guilt, and the victim scenario. You are strong, independent, intelligent, you've got it all! And here you are with a dummy, (in your terms, its what you really think), what are you going to do?

Now, should you dump him before you look at yourself and believe the truth about you, before you know it you'll be with another asshole, feeling like a second sac of shit. And right back at the farm!!.

You cannot worry about him, you have changed, and if you change, your outlook changes, and should your outlook change, your expectations change, and should you expect more, you cannot expect less and go back. Its all about you, period.

What a breath of fresh air, this has been fun ! End of reading, end of post.

If you want to know who I am, look up my other posts.

[Anne1221]

Hmmm.. how would you answer this question...If you were married and you found out your husband had cheated on you, would you be able to forgive him and work on the marriage or would it be over? I had this discussion with my friends L and C. L said, "I have told my husband if I ever catch him cheating..it's over!" while C said, "I think I would give him another chance". Another question, is he willing to just cut this other woman out of his life entirely? She sounds like nothing but trouble!!

[ashly1221]

Here is your reading, channeled, (finally a playful reading!!). Let us begin:

Out of your whole post, I've underlined the only 2 statements that mean anything (above in the quote). Truth be told, you are independent. You have been tinkering with thoughts of your own life, work, living conditions, and daydreaming to a certain degree about what you will do once school is finished.

And in some of those dreams, you flew solo, and it felt good. Now you are conflicted and unsure, and thus your boyfriend is conflicted and unsure, but he is only tinkering with his exploits, playfully, just as you are.

Neither of you are in the deep end, you are both just waddling in the kiddy pool with life vests, just in case of emergency.

He is mirroring your beliefs, and you get to live out how you feel inside, firsthand. He then becomes a pseudo asshole as you play with probabilities of a new life as you go it alone, new job, etc, or with another guy, unattached. Making him the pseudo ass, you relieve your psychological guilt, just a bit, enough to dream at least of a life without him, without feeling too badly.

Playing with these ideas, and since he is basically decent, you feel guilt, hence you feel like a sac of shit. To you, these two people are idiots. Marrying an idiot with his accomplice in tow, makes you feel like an idiot.

Now, set yourself straight, look at your truth, well, truthfully (I have got you started)...be true to self, honor your feelings, and knock off the guilt, and the victim scenario. You are strong, independent, intelligent, you've got it all! And here you are with a dummy, (in your terms, its what you really think), what are you going to do?

Now, should you dump him before you look at yourself and believe the truth about you, before you know it you'll be with another asshole, feeling like a second sac of shit. And right back at the farm!!.

You cannot worry about him, you have changed, and if you change, your outlook changes, and should your outlook change, your expectations change, and should you expect more, you cannot expect less and go back. Its all about you, period.

What a breath of fresh air, this has been fun ! End of reading, end of post.

If you want to know who I am, look up my other posts.

That was really interesting to read, honestly. It kind of changed what seat I've been sitting in the last few weeks.

I do want things to work out with us. We have a great life together and have a lot of fun, and joke around and laugh a lot. Those kinds of things usually die in relationships but we still goof around like we did 3 years ago, and that is one of my favourite qualities of our relationship.

To me though, getting past this is going to be tough. This is the THIRD time that this sort of thing has happened that I know of. The first time it was with another girl, the second time was with his EX and now the newest girl. 3 different women, 3 different times, same issue. I have forgiven him twice before and now I am just so unsure of everything I don't know what to do next. We have been living together for over 3 years, and the 7 weeks I was away for school was spent at my parents farm (it was an hour drive closer to school and we agreed it was better financially and less km's on my truck if I just stayed there the days I had school) so I really wasn't off doing my own thing too much. We talked everyday and every night and always let eachother know what was going on, as we always do when we are apart.

I told him this same thing "I love you and want to be with you and want to get passed this but all I can think is if I stay it will be a mistake and I will regret it because you can just go and do the same thing again, and I don't want to leave because I feel that will be a mistake." honestly feel stuck in the middle of myself. I know what's best for me and I know what I want for the majority of the time, and this time I don't.

[ashly1221]

Hmmm.. how would you answer this question...If you were married and you found out your husband had cheated on you, would you be able to forgive him and work on the marriage or would it be over? I had this discussion with my friends L and C. L said, "I have told my husband if I ever catch him cheating..it's over!" while C said, "I think I would give him another chance". Another question, is he willing to just cut this other woman out of his life entirely? She sounds like nothing but trouble!!

If he ever physically cheated, like had sex with another women, I would pack my stuff and go. Not a second thought about that. But these circumstances are different, as you can tell. To me, it was very heated flirting leaning towards cheating, who knows where it would have gone if I didn't find out...
The other girl is out of the picture, I made sure of that. Luckily my sister in law didn't like her much to begin with and took care of things on her end for me. So I am not concerned about her trying to do something like this again. But now, I'm wondering if my partner would do something like this again. 3 strikes and you're out, or 3rd times the charm. Not sure which one I want to go with right now.

[littleone123]

Iv been there and it may get better it may not bt what I have learned from being that gf that has that happen to is he wouldn't have done it if he respected u enough as a person.

What u do is totally ur decision and ur decision alone because u have feelings for him but I spent 2 years with someone after this happened and I fell apart. I was literally falling apart at the seams and wanted to die. I forgave him but never will forget.

Deep down u will know what to do but remember to PUT YOURSELF FIRST!

[littleone123]

Another thing I learned in my previous relationship my ex said he kept doing it basically coz I kept taking him back and pretty much allowing him to keep doing it. Once is a mistake twice or more becomes a choice.

Also read a book called 'it's called a break up because it's broken' and one of the sayings in it is 'if it wasn't broken you wouldn't question it'

[NixonRulz]

Hey everyone, I'm back.

Haven't been on here in a while, as I was busy with school and whatnot.

Done school now, and am now on the search for a job. Not as stressful as I thought it would be to be completely honest. So that's the good news.

Bad news is that while I was busy with school and barely ever home ( I was home a couple nights a week 3 nights max. for about 7 weeks ) my fiancé decided to be a complete asshole again.

Now, I realize this is more of a personal dilemma, not so much a symptom of anxiety but it is causing me A LOT of anxiety, I am losing sleep, feeling depressed ect. All the fun stuff, I'm sure you understand.

So let me elaborate on how my fiancé (?) is an asshole.

It was brought to my attention by another female that him and her had been engaging in 'sexting' (her words not mine) and these texts included photos.
Just gonna let you think about that for a second.

Anywho, there was no sex involved. Just steamy photos and text messages.

There is a history with this other woman, or homewrecker, whatever you want to call her. Him and I have been together for 4 years now, and she has been continuing to try to invite herself over to our home, telling him she loves him and would do anything to be with him bla bla fucking bla. So she had really been trying to get inbetween us for a while, explaining she would do anything and give anything to be me so that she could be with him and all that maniac stuff. She had been continually sending him seductive natured text messages and one night he was drinking and I wasn't home and he gave in.

That is the story he told me.

mhmm. Because I was born yesterday, right?

After I found out, I didn't come home for a while, I stayed at my parents farm to think about things. I eventually did come home. And we talked, but not as much as I would like to. I think I would just keep saying the same things over and over again like a broken record, but I just feel like I am not going to just 'poof' get over it.

I realize he did not have sex with her, that much I know for a fact, because we live quite far from the city she lives in. And my brother lives in our guest room, so I would know instantly if we had company over when I wasn't home, and I would know if he went out somewhere alone ect.

I honestly just don't know what to make of this. I know he didn't physically cheat on me, but it hurts just the same. I don't understand why he would even do something like that in the first place. I know for a fact I am not an unattractive person, I know our sex life is definitely better than the average couple and I never say a peep when he watches porn when I am not home, it's a guy thing, and I get that and it doesn't bother me. We talk regularly, but obviously not getting 100% honesty from him or he would have brought it to my attention that this female was 'bothering' him in the first place right?

I just don't know, we are supposed to be getting married in a year, we have a house together, a dog together and this issue aside, a good relationship. Which obviously needs better communication. I just don't know though, if I get over this and trust him again, is it going to happen again? Was there more that happened with other people that I just don't know about? Should I walk away now and avoid more issues in the future..... there is just so much to consider, and I cannot sleep at night, I just lay there and run all of this and more through my head. It's at the point where I don't even want to be at home anymore because I feel so sad being here. And to him, nothing had changed. He goes about him normal stuff no problem and I am sitting here miserable and feeling like a sac of shit.

That's my rant. I don't expect any responses to this because there really is not a whole lot that can be done. Something I have to sort out myself but it helps to just get it off my chest and who knows, maybe someone else on here has had a similar issue and can advise on that.

Thanks for reading, cheers.

He's a tool. 3 times? Yeah, he's doing it again, especially with no consequences happened before. If it was just having fun and goofing around it's one thing and lots of people screw around like that by flirting when drinking but if you are doing that with an ex, that kinda crosses a line. Especially sending pictures. If you think that is what it was then maybe no big deal.

It's sad but in most cases when someone hangs with another, the person that was cheated on has a hard time getting over it and acts accordingly. Then the cheater ends up ending the relationship since it won't go back to the way it was.

So if you do decide to stay, you have to be able to get over it or it will end anyway

Crappy position to be in and I wish you well, however you decide