How to deal with enemies peacefully

[mikecole114]

Ello,
So tonight a lot of my school friends are going to watch the England game at the pub. However a few people there made me so much worse when I was depressed and I partly blame them. Now when I'm feeling a lot better I don't know how I should speak to them. Basically my view towards them is... You weren't there when I need you, I want as sincre apology and until them I have no time for them. As tonight they will probably speak to me friendly I don't wish to act the same but then again I don't want to act like I care at all. Anyone got anything they could help me with some some up how I feel without aggravating anything but is not forgiving.... Ahah anyone who could shed some light would be most appreciated

[Im-Suffering]

Ello,
So tonight a lot of my school friends are going to watch the England game at the pub. However a few people there made me so much worse when I was depressed and I partly blame them. Now when I'm feeling a lot better I don't know how I should speak to them. Basically my view towards them is... You weren't there when I need you, I want as sincre apology and until them I have no time for them. As tonight they will probably speak to me friendly I don't wish to act the same but then again I don't want to act like I care at all. Anyone got anything they could help me with some some up how I feel without aggravating anything but is not forgiving.... Ahah anyone who could shed some light would be most appreciated

If it is enlightenment you want (shed some light) :

You speak your truth as you have said above. "I felt...so and so, and I believe, this and that" when you have done so, regardless of the outcome you forgive, period. You forgive because if you do not, it works against the self, turning on you, and you will not be forgiven, your anxiety, and/or depression made worse.

For it is written :

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven"

So shall it be done.

Now if you do not understand this, it matters not.

[mikecole114]

Thankyou for your reply. But this particular friend has commited more then 490 sins (70x7) and because of what he said I attempted suicide. He is not sorry he just wants to be friends so he can join in on our friendship group when we are home from uni never has he said sorry or I can see him saying sorry any time soon. Do I forgive him? Even if he's not sorry

[Im-Suffering]

Thankyou for your reply. But this particular friend has commited more then 490 sins (70x7) and because of what he said I attempted suicide. He is not sorry he just wants to be friends so he can join in on our friendship group when we are home from uni never has he said sorry or I can see him saying sorry any time soon. Do I forgive him? Even if he's not sorry

Yes.

But forgive yourself, first. Then, those that hurt you long before this incident, you know who/what. Forgive yourself for any/or all mistreatment. Forgive yourself for the way it made you feel, about you. And so the chains of the past will be broken.

In your life, if you should come from love, in your interactions, motives, in your thoughts one to the other towards your peers, say even to those who hurt you so,. In your deeds, with others, and yourself, your motto, your guiding principle would be, what would love do now?

Love shall be manifest in your experience then, and forgiveness. On the rare occasion should you meet hate, or ignorance....then you will speak your truth, validating who you are, and leave the judgment elsewhere.

Then forgive, forgive, forgive. And thy love in thought and deed will turn toward the self, you. And you will finally say, 'I love myself!'

That is all. The message sent to you with love, in the most unexpected place ! Even an anonymous forum where one day, a chance meeting with few words can change your life. The words may be few, but they are self-powered, propelled through the ether by the energy called love. Feel it. You called out for it ! And so it is written, and done.

[snowberry]

The bible does say to forgive, but I don't think the bible ever meant for anyone to be a fool. If you can forgive this person, then do, for your sake, as im-suffering says. But that doesn't mean that you have to be friendly or even civil towards these people if you don't want to. It's up to you how you act during this evening - I imagine you will try to enjoy yourself as best as possible without spending a great deal of time alone with this one particular dude - but after the evening has finished, you don't have to have these people in your life in any way, shape or form.

[Anne1221]

I've heard people on tv, who had a loved one murdered, say, "I forgive that person and I do it FOR ME. I do it so I can move on and be free of this person. As long as I hold onto this anger, the only person it's hurting is me". As far as this person, I think he sounds so CLUELESS, he's probably not aware of how much he truly hurt you. I wouldn't tell him off, but if you need to, in a calm way, just tell him you were really hurt by him and if you want to, you could say," But I forgive you". Put the burden on him. You've now made it quite clear to him how much he hurt you, but you're moving on. You're no longer going to give his meanness power over your life.