really need some help!

[chesuta]

So, I've been kind of a lurker a bit when it comes to anxiety forums, but they've always helped me a bit, knowing that people are feeling the same things. But I'm having difficulties finding some shared newer symptoms and it's making me a bit nervous! So if you guys could help, or even share them, that would be great! ; v ; I suppose I should go ahead and explain myself though?


Well, I'm a 17 year old female who has just been diagnosed with (severe? i think it used to just be mild) anxiety around September last year right after my first panic attack. Even though I've only had about two panic attacks since then (including the first), I haven't felt "normal" since then, as if constantly in a haze. The best way I can explain the feeling is like being in a first person video game all the time, with full control but never feel like I'm really there. I even suffer from feelings of memory loss, even though i distinctly remember what's just said to me, it feels kind of distant, you know? While discomforting, it isn't my main issue now.

As of lately, I've been feeling very off. I feel although I can't breath, but not in the sense of gasping for air, because I know that just leads to hyperventilation. All the breaths I take feel so empty and not like they're getting me anywhere, which makes me afraid that I'm not breathing correctly and I'll pass out - or worse, die - and doing the deep breathing exercises just seem to amplify these feelings because I'm going out of "rhythm". When standing my center of gravity feels like it's moving and swaying - my extremities (such as fingers and hands or toes) have started to tingle often - and I often feel like my heart isn't beating, or worry it might be beating irregularly. These are pretty new symptoms to me, but some of my older more familiar ones are still present- I'm usually light headed and dizzy, tired but also restless, having way too much spit than I can swallow (which leads to having to spit it out every couple of second), and voice-coughing white phlegm up.

These symptoms altogether, however, have made it very difficult for me to sleep now, and only on the verge of passing out can I seem to do so.

Possible things I have considered though - the heat might be the cause of this though. I seem to be doing a lot better at night, though still not well enough to sleep, but I can go about my daily business, especially drawing, without the screen bothering me so much or feeling too dizzy. I've also found that putting my hair up into a ponytail might also be helping too (because it s\o thick and i'm crazy enough to be growing it out!), so I'm wondering if it's weight it messing with my head or something?

However, I'm wondering if I should only consider it anxiety and in my head, or if it might actually be something else? I see a lot of people saying how they go to the doctors and get all the scans to make sure, but I never did that. My doctor saw me a few times for little check ups but quickly called it anxiety, and my mother is certain all my symptoms are anxiety. But knowing that all these people went to make sure there was nothing wrong and I hadn't, makes me nervous.
So it'd be nice to know.
Thank you guys if you can give me some feedback and opinions or advice<33 I'm sorry it's so long! ; o ; )/

[NervousNiki]

Welcome and congratulations on reaching out. I, too, was a lurker when I first created my account on this anxiety forum. Also, oddly enough when I began learning about anxiety I also developed new symptoms. Our brain works in mysterious ways and fear knows how to take hold of us. I suggest seeing your doctor so that you have peace of mind that nothing is wrong and you can begin your recovery process. This forum is giving me the desired strength to save my own life. The greatest thing I've learned is that I create my anxiety. My obsessive thoughts, my hyper awareness of my body, and fear of being unhealthy keeps me in a constant state of panic and anxiety. I'm taking steps to become healthier person physically, mentally, and emotionally. I'm far from fixed but I am getting better. I wish you the best on your journey to recovery and you're in the right spot for support and help.

[Zoogirl7]

Hi Chesuta!
I'm going through a bout of anxiety issues right now, but I was first diagnosed about 10 yrs ago when I was in my late 20's. In retrospect, I realized I'd been having anxiety issues since I was probably around 12 yrs old but it went undiagnosed. You sound a lot like I did! I'm not a doctor, but I'm 99% positive, yes this is all anxiety related. If it helps, maybe pop in for a physical just to ease your mind. The good news is you're figuring this out at a pretty young age and you will recover and your future is very bright =-) I used to be obsessed with my breathing, convinced there were a variety of problems at different times. It's possible to get so focused on these things, but those are just negative thoughts and anxiety. The way we think has everything to do with our anxiety and worries. The trick is catching the negative thoughts and working on turning them around, because as hard as it is to believe, fear is pretty much an illusion/a distraction but it feels so incredibly horrible. I'd try jotting down all your negative thoughts (a lot start with 'what if...' or things like I can't breathe, there's something wrong with me, what is going on, this isn't ok....etc) for a 24 hr period and I suspect the list will be long. The foggy feelings you're talking about is the anxiety symptom I tend to get scared by the most so of course its the one that I deal with too. Ironically, if I can find a way to just let it be, not fear it, good chance it'll go away again. It has before, it will again, and it will for you too. Excessive stress and anxiety can cause that feeling and i've heard its kind of like your brain trying to rest. It's somewhat reassuring but it still bothers me, that's something I'm working on. Everything you mention about sleeping issues, swallowing, dizziness, etc are all very classic anxiety issues. What helped me the most is going to a therapist and working on getting to the root of the anxiety and then working on my thought patterns. In severe cases sometimes meds can help, I'm not pro or anti meds, I've used a benzo and dont regret that choice, but its a very personal choice, and one not to be taken lightly. Just my opinion just in case if you ever go the med route for anxiety disorders, to not go to your primary care doctor, definitely go to a psychiatrist. But honestly, I think therapy will do wonders. I would seriously try to get on top of this as soon as you can by finding a therapist to help you talk through what you're dealing with and take it from there. There are a lot of good self help techniques out there that should help out quite a bit. I've used the Anxiety and Phobia workbook in the past and Lucinda Bassett's book I think titled From Panic to Power. There are good messages in that book and the workbook goes over most techniques but there are a lot out there. Others may have more recommendations. You are so not alone! Hang in there, you're going to get through this just fine.