Speechless
06-09-2014, 05:00 AM
Okay, this is my second attempt to post something after the first long attempt logged me out :-(
I am speechless (pun intended), and I suffer from anxiety.
It all started a few years back when my marks at university started to drop and I failed. At the time I was working tiredlessly full time, at my own job, my wife's business and studying.
Then I separated from my wife and about a year later I was in a new relationship. As we both wanted a child, we soon aimed and soon after she was pregnant. The relationship was always volatile but I wanted the family so much so I hung in there. My son was born in August 2010 and I was the proudest dad in the world. But the relationship deteriorated. So I broke up again. We tried for 16 months to find a amicable solution for custody but never managed to find agreement. Negotiations were fruitless and as soon as I mentioned court, she made claims to police that I threatened to kill her and the child, which was nonsense. However, police believed her, and I had an avo against me (apprehended violence order). I am facing obnoxious and preposterous fouls claims backed up by her family and I haven't seen my son in 2 years. Somewhere along these lines I developed my anxiety disorder and I no longer can cope with my life.
About 16 months ago I met a wonderful lady with whom I had a relationship beyond my wildest dreams and life seemed perfect. Until I found out she was unfaithful to me. We broke up but always stayed in contact. In February this year she purchased a business and I started working with and for her. Love rekindled and we got closer again after having forgiven her for her period of silliness as we all make mistakes. However, yesterday an incident triggered my anxiety again and I worried that she is unfaithful again, even though she (probably) isn't. I don't know.
She has enough of my anxiety attacks and accusing her of her past and she has given up on me.
My life has fallen apart and I cannot cope anymore. I have literally no support and feel helpless.
I so wish I could have my life back as it was ten years ago, where I partied and drank......
Now, I hide in a hole and people dislike me because of my mood swings....... They done understand! And I don't blame them.
PLEASE HELP ME GETTING BACK ONTO MY OWN ORIGINAL PATH.
Thanks so much for all your welcome.
I truly hope to find people who do understand my journey and my worries.
*speechless*
I am speechless (pun intended), and I suffer from anxiety.
It all started a few years back when my marks at university started to drop and I failed. At the time I was working tiredlessly full time, at my own job, my wife's business and studying.
Then I separated from my wife and about a year later I was in a new relationship. As we both wanted a child, we soon aimed and soon after she was pregnant. The relationship was always volatile but I wanted the family so much so I hung in there. My son was born in August 2010 and I was the proudest dad in the world. But the relationship deteriorated. So I broke up again. We tried for 16 months to find a amicable solution for custody but never managed to find agreement. Negotiations were fruitless and as soon as I mentioned court, she made claims to police that I threatened to kill her and the child, which was nonsense. However, police believed her, and I had an avo against me (apprehended violence order). I am facing obnoxious and preposterous fouls claims backed up by her family and I haven't seen my son in 2 years. Somewhere along these lines I developed my anxiety disorder and I no longer can cope with my life.
About 16 months ago I met a wonderful lady with whom I had a relationship beyond my wildest dreams and life seemed perfect. Until I found out she was unfaithful to me. We broke up but always stayed in contact. In February this year she purchased a business and I started working with and for her. Love rekindled and we got closer again after having forgiven her for her period of silliness as we all make mistakes. However, yesterday an incident triggered my anxiety again and I worried that she is unfaithful again, even though she (probably) isn't. I don't know.
She has enough of my anxiety attacks and accusing her of her past and she has given up on me.
My life has fallen apart and I cannot cope anymore. I have literally no support and feel helpless.
I so wish I could have my life back as it was ten years ago, where I partied and drank......
Now, I hide in a hole and people dislike me because of my mood swings....... They done understand! And I don't blame them.
PLEASE HELP ME GETTING BACK ONTO MY OWN ORIGINAL PATH.
Thanks so much for all your welcome.
I truly hope to find people who do understand my journey and my worries.
*speechless*