Feelings of isolation/not wanting to socialize

[superchick22684]

I'm not really sure where to put this topic, I have both anxiety and depression so I'm not sure which is the better fit for forum. I also do exhibit some level of social anxiety at times.

Anyway on to the story. My boyfriend went out of state for several days because of a family situation and I wasn't able to see him for about a week. For most people that wouldn't be a big deal but I don't have a lot of friends partially by choice and partially due to my anxiety and depression so I spent most of the time that I wasn't at work at home by myself.

When he was out of state my daily habits were pretty much back to where they were before we were together. Get up in the morning, go to work, come home and have as little interaction with people as possible to reduce anxiety/discomfort. He just got back from his trip a few days ago and I feel like I'm falling back into my bad habits again.

There was something so comfortable about being alone and not feeling pressured to socialize with people. However I've been a bit more depressed. Now that he's back in town all I want to do is just stay out of people's way and kind of just not go anywhere other than work.

Just some standard info because I'm sure that it will be asked. No I'm not currently on medication however I am in therapy. I actually have an appointment today but I cancelled it. That probably wasn't the wisest decision but I just don't feel like going.

Does anyone have any tips on how I can keep myself from becoming a complete hermit? At one point several years ago I was diagnosed with agoraphobia and I'd rather not develop it again.

[Anne1221]

You're just going to have to force yourself to be around people. It's hard but it's so much healthier for you. For me, it helps me to not focus so much on myself. Go back and re-read where you wrote, "However, I've been a bit more depressed.". Sometimes you have to push yourself to do uncomfortable things and this might be one of them .

[Pumpkin]

I can relate about wanting to be alone just because it makes things easier and saves me a lot of anxiety and discomfort. I fall in and out of these states all the time and it's just a habit I have to snap out of. I need to be seriously pushed by my friends to go out when i'm in this 'funk' and if I do enjoy myself, that's what breaks the bad habit for me. This is partially another reason why i've never been in a relationship and i'm 18 years old (I know it's young but i'm one of the only people in my friends group who hasn't had a boyfriend). I can be such an anxious and depressed person from time to time which would make it hard having to think about another person i'm in a serious relationship with. It really scares me though because I can't live like this forever. You're not alone though.. lots of people go through this and hopefully it'll be something you can soon just snap out of and fall back into your regular happy routine. Sometimes you just have to think to yourself that life is short and you need to make as many memories as possible.

[Bhargav Sanketi]

The best way to keep off agoraphobia and going into a social shell is by keeping conversations alive. Force yourself into talking to people. You will find it getting easier and easier. Go out instead of staying home alone. If you feel like you are going to have an attack, calm down. If you worry about your attacks hurting you, it will only accentuate it. Sit down if possible and breathe. You have been through this before and you know the worst it can do. You know that you can take it. Affirm yourself that you are alright. A sense of optimism goes a long way. The more you think about anxiety, the more it will affect you.

If possible, consult a physician and get yourself checked. Or you can use one of the experts on the healtheminds site.

Cheers