Low self esteem=anxiety, anyway I can feel better about myself?

[AmberKyssina]

Over recent months I've become really obsessive about the fine lines I have over my face, I know it may sound really vain or trivial but it's really getting me down. I've got to a point where I'm always checking to see if I have anymore stress lines which have appeared and branched under my eyes, around my mouth, and on my cheeks where I smile. . I really really hate them. It's makes me feel really old and at eighteen I feel like my face looks awful. I'm constantly looking at other people of the same age and the lines on their faces. It's just really lowering my self-confidence because I know if I didn't have anxiety they probably wouldn't be half as bad. I'm beating myself up about having anxiety which in turn is making them worse. If I try and distress will they fade away or not look as bad???!

[Ankhsious]

You need to find a self esteem that is not tied to how you look. Try for one day seeing if you can get a score of "1" in this game :

make some else feel good = 1 point

[AmberKyssina]

Okay thank you for helping me realise I shouldn't be focusing on the little things, I know I probably sounded really vain but I just got this habit of comparing myself against all my friends who from my perspective seem pretty much perfect, perfectionist traits probably don't help me either!

[Anne1221]

My girlfriend does this but I've never done this. People do not notice these things! They only see the overall picture. They see hair and a face. When my hair looks good, people tell me I look good. They really don't see the small lines. My girlfriend would ask me about her lines on her face and I swear, I never noticed! I would notice her earrings, her hair, what she was wearing but never some small lines that she was staring at in a mirror.

[Ankhsious]

Okay thank you for helping me realise I shouldn't be focusing on the little things, I know I probably sounded really vain but I just got this habit of comparing myself against all my friends who from my perspective seem pretty much perfect, perfectionist traits probably don't help me either!

Don't blame yourself. Everyone wants to feel special/powerful/successful. To some extent this trait is what gives us a bit of get up and go. But in the wrong dose it can be deadly. Be grateful that you realize it as it can give you clues as how to heal. And don't go cold turkey, continue to shower, dress well, and put on your best. But just accept that your best is good enough and be able to giggle at this little game we play. Most importantly, find that deeper fountain of serotonin - easier said than done I know first hand :-)