kotoba
05-29-2014, 04:25 PM
So I posted here about a month ago saying how bad this really has gotten to me and how worried I was getting and right now I just need someone to talk to so I'm back to the forums in hope someone will read this and advise me from here.
So I'm 17, and I'm from England so getting therapy is out of the question as I'll be put on the NHS (national health service) waiting list for under 18's therapy.
Which means I'll be waiting for about 5 months before I get to see anyone.
Alright so my feelings.
I feel like I'm beginning to regain some 'control'.. By this I mean... I can realise that what it is I have is anxiety and I feel like I'm jumping between two lifes. One life my brain and thoughts are all muddled up and I get these pains around my head, I also notice everything I'm doing and label it as "not me". My eye sight is becomming occasionally blurry and concentrating is fairly difficult and no one understands me and I'm never going to get out of this life.
In the other life (which I enter for about 5 minutes a day) I don't exactly feel normal, but there's no pain and for a couple seconds I think thoughts like "this is ridiculous... I can't believe I used to think like that"... Basically I think as if I've overcome out of this constant life of anxiety... It's like I have the power to come out now and then but it takes that much focus to not focus on it that I might as well accept it as me.
Of course It's leaving me very depressed and I'm constantly thinking about whether this life is really worth it anymore.. I just have some hope and that's why nothing tragic has happened yet and never will.. Because as hard and as bad as times are.. I know there's a way out, I just need to find it and hold onto it for good.
It's like feeling 'normal' isn't normal anymore and the second i realise the anxiety has gone away it comes straight back.. I'm getting a lot of head pressure at night as well.. I'm just wondering if anyone has or is going through these feelings and thoughts like I am... And if anyone can relate their anxiety to this stage that don't have it anymore, could you give me some advice?... I feel like I have regained some control.. I've had my anxiety for just under 2 months now, I think maybe I can stop it whilst it's young.
All help is appreciated.
Also if you want to know how I get out of this mind set of constant worry and fuzziness I just stop myself and look at myself for a moment and think of nothing but right now in this moment and i acknowledge every single feeling in my body and i think "Right, yes there's a pain here but it's just anxiety.. this pain will go in a couple hours.." And I feel like i've realised everything for a few seconds and everything's ok.. But it's not long before I'm back in the stage of mind...
Is there hope for me? I just want hope.
So I'm 17, and I'm from England so getting therapy is out of the question as I'll be put on the NHS (national health service) waiting list for under 18's therapy.
Which means I'll be waiting for about 5 months before I get to see anyone.
Alright so my feelings.
I feel like I'm beginning to regain some 'control'.. By this I mean... I can realise that what it is I have is anxiety and I feel like I'm jumping between two lifes. One life my brain and thoughts are all muddled up and I get these pains around my head, I also notice everything I'm doing and label it as "not me". My eye sight is becomming occasionally blurry and concentrating is fairly difficult and no one understands me and I'm never going to get out of this life.
In the other life (which I enter for about 5 minutes a day) I don't exactly feel normal, but there's no pain and for a couple seconds I think thoughts like "this is ridiculous... I can't believe I used to think like that"... Basically I think as if I've overcome out of this constant life of anxiety... It's like I have the power to come out now and then but it takes that much focus to not focus on it that I might as well accept it as me.
Of course It's leaving me very depressed and I'm constantly thinking about whether this life is really worth it anymore.. I just have some hope and that's why nothing tragic has happened yet and never will.. Because as hard and as bad as times are.. I know there's a way out, I just need to find it and hold onto it for good.
It's like feeling 'normal' isn't normal anymore and the second i realise the anxiety has gone away it comes straight back.. I'm getting a lot of head pressure at night as well.. I'm just wondering if anyone has or is going through these feelings and thoughts like I am... And if anyone can relate their anxiety to this stage that don't have it anymore, could you give me some advice?... I feel like I have regained some control.. I've had my anxiety for just under 2 months now, I think maybe I can stop it whilst it's young.
All help is appreciated.
Also if you want to know how I get out of this mind set of constant worry and fuzziness I just stop myself and look at myself for a moment and think of nothing but right now in this moment and i acknowledge every single feeling in my body and i think "Right, yes there's a pain here but it's just anxiety.. this pain will go in a couple hours.." And I feel like i've realised everything for a few seconds and everything's ok.. But it's not long before I'm back in the stage of mind...
Is there hope for me? I just want hope.