Understanding anxiety

[Im-Suffering]

I would like to hear everyone's input on what you think is the purpose of your anxiety. Be honest, truthfull (brutally honest). This is not a symptom thread, or a victim thread, listen, why do you have it, what is its purpose and reason in your life. I believe by reading your answer as well as the others we may find some understanding.

[Irish Sammie]

I believe the purpose as to why it's happening to me, is that I need to man up. All my life I've been sensitive to the world around me. Out of the three siblings, I'm seen as the most sensitive. Not that you could say something bad to me and I'd instantly start to cry, nothing like that. I'm just a very trusting person, a very accommodating person, someone who's very empathetic. For me, it has been a wake up call to the things that I've been ignoring or putting off in my life. Worries and anxieties about things that I've been trying to avoid and procrastinate about. I guess this is the way my body is telling me that it can't take all the bottling up anymore. It has filled it's quota of stored worries.

Instead of facing them dead on, they were put on the back burner and attempted to be forgotten about. I'm glad this is happening, as otherwise I don't think I'd be dealing with those issues right now, like I am. That's my 2 cents.

[Im-Suffering]

I believe the purpose as to why it's happening to me, is that I need to man up. All my life I've been sensitive to the world around me. Out of the three siblings, I'm seen as the most sensitive. Not that you could say something bad to me and I'd instantly start to cry, nothing like that. I'm just a very trusting person, a very accommodating person, someone who's very empathetic. For me, it has been a wake up call to the things that I've been ignoring or putting off in my life. Worries and anxieties about things that I've been trying to avoid and procrastinate about. I guess this is the way my body is telling me that it can't take all the bottling up anymore. It has filled it's quota of stored worries.

Instead of facing them dead on, they were put on the back burner and attempted to be forgotten about. I'm glad this is happening, as otherwise I don't think I'd be dealing with those issues right now, like I am. That's my 2 cents.

For your edification I thought this was interesting on a deeper level, a few months back when Phillip Hoffman passed on, Jim Carrey had this to say (twitter): quoted-


Dear Philip, a beautiful beautiful soul. For the most sensitive among us the noise can be too much. Bless your heart

[free808]

No purpose.
No meaning, other than whatever meaning we assign to it.
Anxiety can help us, if we let it. Anxiety can ruin us, if we let it.

If believing that your anxiety holds some higher purpose, then that's cool if it helps you to think like that. Having a positive attitude is essential if you're ever going to get through it. But even then, I like the way you tied anxiety into "know thyself." Our struggles with anxiety disorder and depression can certainly teach us a great deal about ourselves and others.

[Im-Suffering]

No purpose.
No meaning, other than whatever meaning we assign to it.
Anxiety can help us, if we let it. Anxiety can ruin us, if we let it.

If believing that your anxiety holds some higher purpose, then that's cool if it helps you to think like that. Having a positive attitude is essential if you're ever going to get through it. But even then, I like the way you tied anxiety into "know thyself." Our struggles with anxiety disorder and depression can certainly teach us a great deal about ourselves and others.

Because of the constant bullying in school and by my father, as I'm remembering back to 14 or so. At 8am I would leave for school only, I'd take a detour. I'd sit in a park against a wall alone for 8 hours until I could go home and fake my mom into thinking I had been in school. Only when I missed 130 or so days did she say anything to me.

What were my thoughts as I sat alone, I can't remember. I was not aware at that age of my body, if you will, its workings, so even if I had palps/sweats/etc, .......it couldn't register unless it hit me square in the face. I had a bleeding ulcer at 16. My pain was in my repressed emotions, and anger, and self hatred. Every time I went home for the day, as I opened the back door I wished I was dead.

I've been sitting with these feelings inside for 40 years. Who would ever listen to self loathing, self hatred, ....who would listen to a worthless person? If I'm not good enough than I better be agoraphobic.

I'm guessing so many of you have similar feelings inside, and lost memories. All your left with now are the physiological symptoms to deal with, with a forgotten recognition of the emotional scars left behind. Just like my days sitting against that wall, alone and afraid.

[free808]

Sorry you went through such a painful childhood. That's where it all started for a lot of us in here. Well, it's a good thing that you're not just stuffing all the pain down anymore. I also did that my whole life. That's what led me to suffer from depression and anxiety for so long...not dealing head=on with the daily stresses and conflicts and fears. But getting it out and looking it in the face and actually dealing with it -- that's the good stuff! That's when the healing begins. =)

Good for you Im-Suffering. I'm glad to hear you have already or are in the process of moving past anxiety and moving on with your life.

[Ankhsious]

I would like to hear everyone's input on what you think is the purpose of your anxiety. Be honest, truthfull (brutally honest). This is not a symptom thread, or a victim thread, listen, why do you have it, what is its purpose and reason in your life. I believe by reading your answer as well as the others we may find some understanding.

I'll start,

I believe my anxiety and its physical symptoms literally forces me to take my eye off the world and acutely focus on myself. And if our purpose is to know thyself, there must be something to gain, there must be.

You might say "I feel helpless, abandoned, so through this I will learn of my own courage" and in so doing you will find the incipient event that now triggers your episodes ( the childhood event ).

I think of two parts to this answer.


First, anxiety is my life energy trying to tell me something. Perhaps my conscious mind has become too comfortable with a situation and it's something inside me tugging on my pant leg, or in my case giving me a huge uppercut in the jaw.

But why is the stress response SO exaggerated in me?

Is it because my conscious mind is powerful and this is the only way it can be stopped?

Part two is that it is my life energy forcing me to back up and tackle problems from a deeper level. On some level anxiety has been the result of being pulled and pushed by something simultaneously, and despite what my ego and conscious mind have to say, the object of that attachment/aversion is not that important and anxiety is screaming that I am tearing myself apart.

[Im-Suffering]

I think of two parts to this answer.


First, anxiety is my life energy trying to tell me something. Perhaps my conscious mind has become too comfortable with a situation and it's something inside me tugging on my pant leg, or in my case giving me a huge uppercut in the jaw.

But why is the stress response SO exaggerated in me?

Is it because my conscious mind is powerful and this is the only way it can be stopped?

Part two is that it is my life energy forcing me to back up and tackle problems from a deeper level. On some level anxiety has been the result of being pulled and pushed by something simultaneously, and despite what my ego and conscious mind have to say, the object of that attachment/aversion is not that important and anxiety is screaming that I am tearing myself apart.

I would go deeper into that. (Bolded). Be specific in what you find, and share if you wish, I'd be interested :)

[PanicCured]

My anxiety had no purpose, no meaning, was pointless, and was my nervous system that was set to high alert, and when the adrenaline would kick in, I would add 2nd fear and get stuck in a loop of adding fear to the fear to the fear. It was a waste of money on doctor bills, waste of time worrying, and waste of time searching for any meaning in it. All I had to do, was push through it, stop making my anxiety worse, ace my fears, act as if I did not have anxiety, heal and nourish my nervous system, not mold my life around anxiety, not have anxiety as an identity, and spend every day focused on overcoming anxiety by any means necessary.

[Pumpkin]

I feel like I have so much to say but it'll get me irritated trying to put my thoughts into words and nail it all, so i'll keep it short and simple. I think my anxiety is caused by my fear of failing in school, relationships and work. There is so much I dislike about myself which makes everyday a huge struggle. I don't think my anxiety comes from "nowhere" just because when i'm sitting around doing nothing I feel fine, but once I start thinking about the future whether it be short term or long term, that's when I get worked up.

[Pumpkin]

I'd like to hear more if you could try ?

I think i've got really bad OCD which is the primary trigger of my anxiety. Every little thing stresses me out and having too many things to balance at once is where I start to crack. If I go out with friends and have something planned the next day such as school or work.. i'll already start getting nervous the day before about setting my alarms to wake up the next day and make sure I don't sleep through them, especially if i've got a big test or exam. When i'm at work, I get overwhelmed a lot about doing well and cleaning the store perfectly so I don't look like a bad employee which can be extremely overwhelming when i'm also running the cash. When i'm given tasks to do at school or work, i'm afraid to mess up and fail which makes things very difficult for me. At the moment, I pretty much only work Saturday, Sunday and the odd Thursday, so the days and nights before these shifts I already start to think about when i'll shower, wake up, get ready and leave the house so I can be on time. I need things to be thought about in advance in order to feel at ease, which is why I also set a million alarms. Everything just really overwhelms me.

I just feel my anxiety is all over the place and the only time I can truly relax is on a day where I know I've got nothing important to do the next day. I can't have too many things planned over a number of consecutive days or else i'll really breakdown, which is why I need time to sit around on the computer, watch a show and do absolutely nothing between busy days. Sorry if this seems a bit weird or messed up.. I don't really know how else to explain it and I hope this made better sense.

[Ankhsious]

I would go deeper into that. (Bolded). Be specific in what you find, and share if you wish, I'd be interested :)

So I was at a kid's birthday party yesterday and met a friend who is still in the banking business. He was asking me what my plan was, what I want to do next and trying to be helpful by brainstorming with me. Well, this morning I woke up in a panic. The viscious cycle goes something like this :

mind racing -> need to stop thinking -> only way to stop thinking is to find an occupation for my mind (valid belief?) -> go over criteria (if friend seems happy in banking I feel envious so there must be something there) -> no clear answer, overwhelmed, 'oh wait I am still unwell, I can't work' -> mind racing

The good news is that once I got up I started to do some journaling and calmed down. My racing mind needs train tracks to be on and forcing a physical pen to paper seems to provide a slow moving locomotive for it. I don't have answers this morning to ANY of my viscious cycle questions but I have realized that slow thinking is better than no thinking and fast thinking. I've also realized that I need to process any emotions/feelings/triggers from social events BEFORE I sleep.

Working in banking is an example of attachment/aversion. I loved the work, but towards the end and now that it is a shrinking business I HATED the feeling of always having to watch for knives in your back.

That is the outer layer. The inner layer is still some deep rooted insecurity that only seems to find validation through achievement. Coming here feels good because it helps me reduce the 'why am I the only one' feeling. :-(

[King_George]

It doesn't have a reason, and nothing irks me more than people who think "everything happens for a reason". It doesn't. It's just a disorder and (excuse my language) it shits on our lives and our plans. We shouldn't be rationalizing it, it just makes having it more comfortable and makes us feel special, when it reality it's the exact opposite.

[Ankhsious]

I think there is some truth to both your positions. Anxiety, as it manifests, presents itself as an outer world problem that needs immediate attention. In this regard it is utterly useless because it prevents you from solving the very problem it is asking you to solve.on the other hand it is definitely a signal from your soul to the rest of you that's something deep inside has to be fixed and needs attention and love and care. IMO of course

[kaybeee]

I think the purpose of my anxiety that I've recently started to experience is that I need to learn how to be independent, how to enjoy being alone even with no friends around. I've been dependent on people (parents mostly) my whole life and I moved away to college. I started feeling anxiety and some slight depression. I hate being alone, my roommate is always at work and I don't really know many people here. I need to learn how to reach out and join clubs or at least talk to people in class and hang out with them, study with them. Saying these things is harder than actually doing them, but I want to reach that point somehow, someway.

[Enduronman]

WOW..this is a tough question for me to answer and I rarely have to think so deeply about an answer.
I am extremely sensitive to everything, everyone, and the world around me..a very keen and acute sense of being.
I do not watch the news, read the papers, watch or listen too anything dramatic as I do tend to focus on my own sense of self and it is helpful to me as well.
I will try to think more clearly and in depth about this question as it is very interesting to me although I don't know if I will ever come up with an exact, detailed, and refined answer.
Great thread by the way!
We'll all get through this as I have hope.

Enduronman. :)

[Joe.]

Tough and precise question.....
There are many factors for me.....I grew up with a very anxious mum so environmentally that can predispose you to it. Health worry on the face of it 'causes' it but why did I worry about health is the question.....I really,really don't know.

[Steven Miller]

If you've read any of my posts I am afraid I am starting to sound like a broken record, but a terrific question for a thread.

In my case, anxiety is caused by acting in ways that I don't want to act. I do this in response to societal expectations about work, religion, and what is socially acceptable. For example, as animals, it is very natural for people to want to hurt other people from time to time. But how many of us anxious people ever consciously want to hurt someone? None of us! We are far too sensitive and kind to ever want that. Well, we are fooling ourselves. True, by repressing our desires we stop ourselves from having to experience the frustration of not getting what we want. But we stop ourselves from experiencing the joy of getting what we want. We become apathetic, afraid, tired, confused, and lost.

So we have to make a decision. Do we take the good with the bad, or do we take nothing at all? I choose to feel alive, I choose the good and the bad.

[Xerosnake90]

I view my anxiety as the push to move myself forward. I'd constantly be content with doing nothing, believing in nothing and feeling nothing. When I did do something or feel something, I'd partake in self destructive thoughts or attach myself to that which I realize now to be no good. I'd do nothing and feel nothing because that's all I got was that I'm nothing, or that what I'm doing is wrong. How better to not feel that way than to lock it all away. Then it hits you and you've got a choice to make. Do I continue living the way I do, or do I become the thing I've wanted to be?

My anxiety made it easy. Who would choose to live in misery? Not someone who feels they have something to prove. I still carry that mindset, I have something to prove. To others? To myself? I just know I take pride in myself taking care of me and others alike. I used to be ok with living in misery. As I shed that ideal farther and farther I find myself where I want to be. And sweet it is indeed!