Mind the bump
05-25-2014, 07:16 AM
Hey everyone, I have absolutely never posted on a forum before but at this stage feel like anything is worth a shot! I have realised that I have been experiencing anxiety since childhood but that this has became most pronounced in the last 2 years. Last year I had a severe episode of anxiety (even though the GP classed this as depression) which caused me to be off work for 6 months. Ultimately it prevented me from returning to the job I held as I couldn't face the stresses of it, I changed to a less pressured job hoping this would solve the crux of the problem. I also underwent 3 months of counselling, and took medication. My anxiety did not go away but it stopped impacting on me as much as it had been. I am currently 4 months pregnant and stopped medication feeling that I was in a much better place than I had been.....I have now found ( over the last couple of months in particular) that the anxiety has crept back in, on a couple of occasions to what I would consider an unmanageable level. When this first occurred during my pregnancy the GP was hesitant about re-prescribing medication as, knowing me, I would probably then fixate on any harm this could be causing my baby - my GP was probably spot on with this. So now I'm in a kind of don't know what to do situation with anxiety flaring up every few days. My anxiety isn't even related to my pregnancy - which would be more rational if it was, it's like I'm doing a mental checklist of all the what if situations that could possibly impact me in the future, it also usually focuses on something I feel I have done or will do wrong which will have devastating consequences for me or my family . When these thoughts hit they are real and certain and impossible to ignore. I have decided through all these what if scenarios that ultimately I will lose everything and no sooner does one issue fade than another one creeps in, it's a cycle I'm almost used to by now but is incredibly debilitating. My husband is super patient but I know I'm pushing him to his limits (he is one of life's eternal optimists and has no experience of the anxiety I describe). I was hoping that posting on this forum would be therapeutic in itself and also hoped that people could share coping strategies/techniques, open to anything!