Social anxiety.

[Decodie]

I've suffered from anxiety for almost 3-4 years now and i'm currently aged 21...i've somehow managed to deal with it in the past by avoiding any uncomfortable situations but this means having a restricted social life and only a small amount of friends. I've recently met someone who is really understanding of my situation (unlike any of my past partners who quite frankly made it worse) and I really wanna change, not only for him but for myself. This feeling I get is indescribable and as soon as it starts I stand no chance of getting rid of it until i'm back home and feeling safe/secure. It's controlling me and making me feel extremely depressed and quite frankly useless. Even small things like going out for a meal or round to someones house who is having a small gathering is impossible. The minute any sort attention is on me and I have someone asking me a direct question or just being polite and starting up a conversation I feel this sense of dread and panic, I have an issue with thinking people are looking at me all the time which I know sounds silly. Hell, it is silly! I just can't help the way I am and I really don't know what I can do anymore, I refuse to take any sort of medication as I tried doing so in the past and it made me feel numb. I've joined this site to hopefully seek advice of some natural remedies, it also makes me feel better knowing i'm not alone. I wish I could go into the real extent of what I suffer and feel but we'd be here all night so i'll leave it at this for now.

[chanellebourgeois]

I've suffered from anxiety for just about the same amount of time. My anxiety, as I assume, comes from my past experiences of bullying. All from being attacked by a girl and having her friends watch, to going 20 seconds without realizing my pants were down at recess. I guess my anxiety also comes from the fear of being judged, and embarrassing myself in class or anywhere, rather, in school. Ive come a long way, even though im only in the eighth grade, and anxiety has just ripped me to shreds. Friends that I've made, the nicest ones too, have strayed away, because I cant squeeze more than "hello" out of my mouth. But, what has helped, miraculously, is prayer, and meditation. I still have nervous twitches (which is the most...the worst thing.) but it helps the most when I meditate the night before school. Anyway, try meditating or praying to your God, if you're religious.

[gypsylee]

Hey, I've had this for at least 20 years. The only way I could cope in social situations was with drugs and alcohol. That led to pretty serious alcoholism and drug addiction. I'm 40 now, so the pressure to go out is a lot less.

I've found it helpful to read about introverts vs extraverts.. Basically some people are wired in such a way that they feel uncomfortable around lots of people. It isn't something wrong with you, it's just that our culture says extraversion is the way we should be. In other cultures it's considered good to be quiet and introverted.

I know it's hard when you're young and expected to be social all the time, but you might feel better about yourself if you accept that not everyone feels comfortable in social situations. :)

[Decodie]

Thank you so much for your replies, it means a lot. You talking about being bullied in school actually made me question if that's the reason all of this started in the first place because I too had 5 particular males making my life a living hell by calling me names in front of the whole class. It made people want to stay away from me in case they got the same treatment. I've never known why I became this way, my mum and brother suffer from anxiety but for completely different reasons and they don't have it in such a severe way either...they can now control it which is what I really wanna work towards. I had a really bad anxiety attack this Friday just gone and it's knocked me back ten fold...i'm also now losing sleep because it's my friends birthday this upcoming Saturday and i'm absolutely dreading it. What can I do if I start to have those feelings?

[Im-Suffering]

Thank you so much for your replies, it means a lot. You talking about being bullied in school actually made me question if that's the reason all of this started in the first place because I too had 5 particular males making my life a living hell by calling me names in front of the whole class. It made people want to stay away from me in case they got the same treatment. I've never known why I became this way, my mum and brother suffer from anxiety but for completely different reasons and they don't have it in such a severe way either...they can now control it which is what I really wanna work towards. I had a really bad anxiety attack this Friday just gone and it's knocked me back ten fold...i'm also now losing sleep because it's my friends birthday this upcoming Saturday and i'm absolutely dreading it. What can I do if I start to have those feelings?

What were you doing/thinking/daydreaming about/obsessed with/hurt or angered by/guilty of/ashamed the first time you felt anxiety? Go back to that exact moment in time and recount. Look at the emotions you felt that triggered the first fear, the anxiety inception. Heal that false belief about yourself and you'll be on your way to freedom.

Let the explosive stored energy overtake you, it cannot kill you, recount the moving pictures that your mind presents you with of the experiences that trigger the anxiety. That is what you are meant to release to gain your life back.

Whatever belief that you think about yourself that doesn't feel good, is a false assumption. Trust your feelings now, not the words, although the words you speak will lead you to your feelings.