Lothlorien
05-24-2014, 01:43 PM
I know I had severe OCD when I was little. Though I was not diagnosed with it, I really think I had it and outgrew most of it. I've read that OCD typically grows worse and not better if untreated, but it got better for me. I still have some symptoms, but they could be depression symptoms. I obsess over one thing or another and get very upset about it. For example, I made a very stupid mistake almost a year ago--a completely harmless mistake, mind you. But to this day I keep ruminating about why I did it in the hope that I will gain some insight. Though I know I won't, and I know obsessing over the mistake will only make me depressed, I still think about it. Okay, that could be depression, but then there's my obsession with people's ages. When I meet someone, online or in person, I'm always plotting a scheme to find out his/her age or looking people up on background check websites. This has been going on continually for over four and a half years. I love the feeling I get when I do learn someone's age, but I don't like it when I don't find out. When I was little and even sometimes now I obsess with counting. Before it used to be syllables as well, but not so much anymore. I also used to count in my head in multiples of a given number. I know many people with OCD count to calm themselves; for me, it was the opposite. I couldn't stop mentally counting and I got more and more upset as the numbers got larger, so I'd try to distract myself and throw myself off. I still can't stand a ticking clock and occasionally count the number of times I swallow saliva, which is pretty unpleasant when I obsess about it. I could go into more detail, but I think this is sufficient for now. By the way, I also think I have GAD, although, again, there's no diagnosis. So what do you all think?