Can Anxiety Love?

[Freja]

So I've never had a proper boyfriend, and I've never truly been in love. I'd say that my anxiety & shyness stops me from getting to know people (and vice-versa). However, when people do get to know me and my anxiety issues, I feel that they don't know how to behave around me and are slightly put-off by me.

Anyway I was just wondering if any of you out there have any personal, uplifting stories about overcoming your anxiety and falling in love. Or maybe you've met the love of your life who accepts you for who you are.

Can't wait to hear from you guys! :)

[wilbanks951]

Hey, I saw nobody had replied yet, so I just wanted to share something with you. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for a good 2 years. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Social Anxiety a little over a year and a half ago. I've been on countless SSRI's for anxiety and depression and nothing has worked. I'm constantly having mood swings, but even though all of that is going on, I was able to find someone who I could trust to tell everything. We really love each other and this person accepts me for who I am and understands (for the most part) what I'm going through even though this person has never experienced depression let alone major depressive disorder. Actually, last night was probably the first night in a long time that I've felt "happy" and that was because I recently started taking xanax for my anxiety. I just wanted to let you know that it does get better, and that you'll find someone who can love you for who you are and someone who understands what you're going through! I hope you can find that person! :)

[Kuma]

One of the things I have had to learn is that it's not all about my wife understanding and accommodating my anxiety. I also need to understand the burden that my anxiety places on her, and work hard to minimize that burden. Sometimes that means I need to deal with my problems and thoughts on my own, even though I would like support, because it is unfair to dump on her the burden of my anxiety. And I need to meet my obligations, even if I sometimes don't feel up to doing so because of my anxiety. So it is not only a matter of finding someone who can love you even with your anxiety -- but also being someone who is a "good partner" (however you define that) despite the burden of anxiety.

[wilbanks951]

One of the things I have had to learn is that it's not all about my wife understanding and accommodating my anxiety. I also need to understand the burden that my anxiety places on her, and work hard to minimize that burden. Sometimes that means I need to deal with my problems and thoughts on my own, even though I would like support, because it is unfair to dump on her the burden of my anxiety. And I need to meet my obligations, even if I sometimes don't feel up to doing so because of my anxiety. So it is not only a matter of finding someone who can love you even with your anxiety -- but also being someone who is a "good partner" (however you define that) despite the burden of anxiety.


I completely agree.

[superchick22684]

I don't have an incredibly uplifting story about overcoming anxiety but I'm currently in a relationship with someone that is amazingly supportive. I've been with him for a little over a year and we both have our issues. I struggle with anxiety and depression and he has Asperger's. I would have to say the thing that has contributed the most to our relationship is communication. We are very open with each other and we also are willing to give each other space when things get stressful.
Something that has helped a lot is he and I both have done research on the other persons disorder(s) so that we can better understand what the other person is going through. I'm not saying that things are 100% smooth sailing because we definitely have our days but I honestly can't imagine life without him.

[chanellebourgeois]

that's dreamy

[gypsylee]

I used to have a terrible fear that people would leave me once they got close and found out how anxious I get. But I've found if you explain it to them, give them some information on anxiety, they're generally very understanding. The worst thing to do is try to hide it. I'm in a pretty good relationship now and if I'm panicky I just tell him "I've got the anxiety". :-)

[NervousNiki]

My boyfriend is amazing and incredibly supportive. And I know he would never leave me due to my anxiety. But I worry about it all the time. He's been wonderful with me through this. He's kept me from several er visits and laughed with me at my ridiculousness in the end of a couple. He's great, but my head, especially in panic mode, throws the thought of him.leaving into my mix of worries an what-ifs.

[superchick22684]

My boyfriend is amazing and incredibly supportive. And I know he would never leave me due to my anxiety. But I worry about it all the time. He's been wonderful with me through this. He's kept me from several er visits and laughed with me at my ridiculousness in the end of a couple. He's great, but my head, especially in panic mode, throws the thought of him.leaving into my mix of worries an what-ifs.

I've struggled a lot in my relationship with feeling like my boyfriend is going to leave me. As I said it my post above, he and I both have our days. I recently started up therapy again which has helped me quite a bit with my irrational thoughts and "what if" thinking. Deciding to go back to therapy was a decision that I made not only for me but him as well. Anxiety does affect the people around you, especially if you are in a relationship or married.

[Freja]

Thanks for getting back to me guys! Lot's of great advice here - makes me feel more positive about the future :)

[Ritch]

Can anxiety love? no. Can you with anxiety love? Certainly.

I think kuma gave perfect advice. Something strange happened to me, when I started falling in love with my previous partner my anxiety just evaporated. Looking back it was like I was on a drug but I wasn't, I was just in love :)

We may have anxiety and it can make things seem more difficult or as if there is a hurdle in the way. But we have to make sure we get over them and not let it prevent us from achieving things or experience falling in love.