Michael33
05-20-2014, 11:22 PM
I've been great for a couple months now, close to 0 symptoms. This weird dark horrible feeling recently came back, I still have no idea what it is. It's scary, and anxious thoughts fill my head everytime it comes I dont understand it, because I've been well for a while now.
The thoughts really distress me, as they aren't as Pure OCD oriented as they were before. It seems like now I start to question reality and life, and it seems as if things that I would once acknowledge, but not think of too much are just the main themes in my head. Things like war, why does it happen? Why do people kill themselves? Why do people kill other people, why have I been ignorant to the world as such a dark place my whole life? What if I'm in a dream? etc etc.
I'm also finding it hard to completely let go of my Pure O thoughts I used to have, they have went away, but anytime I get this weird feeling I always tend to think wow how did I have those thoughts, or other negative shitty thoughts will come.
I understand that a lot of people think or talk about this stuff since it's all over the news these days, but why does this stuff give me so much anxiety lately? It scares me, makes me think and think and think and just really gets me feeling down, and when it's accompanied by this weird feeling it gets tough. Never lasts all day, comes around for roughly 20-30min maybe an hour and a couple of times a day, and that might be because other than those couple of hours a day I'm usually busy at the gym,work or with friends.
It's been 5 months since I had my first panic attack and first ever symptom of anxiety, 2 of those months were hell, one was w.e, and the last two have been very good.
No medication, I wont go on any anyways but I'd just like some advise as to what it could be now. I just want all this to completely go away. I have a great family and so many great friends, sometimes when I'm getting excited about the weekend coming up and the big plans we have this sudden dark feeling comes over me and it kills my excitement - it's strange, it's like my former self and happiness is trying to come out, and for many days at a time I'm laughing and I am my old self, but then theres days where I'm like this.
The thoughts really distress me, as they aren't as Pure OCD oriented as they were before. It seems like now I start to question reality and life, and it seems as if things that I would once acknowledge, but not think of too much are just the main themes in my head. Things like war, why does it happen? Why do people kill themselves? Why do people kill other people, why have I been ignorant to the world as such a dark place my whole life? What if I'm in a dream? etc etc.
I'm also finding it hard to completely let go of my Pure O thoughts I used to have, they have went away, but anytime I get this weird feeling I always tend to think wow how did I have those thoughts, or other negative shitty thoughts will come.
I understand that a lot of people think or talk about this stuff since it's all over the news these days, but why does this stuff give me so much anxiety lately? It scares me, makes me think and think and think and just really gets me feeling down, and when it's accompanied by this weird feeling it gets tough. Never lasts all day, comes around for roughly 20-30min maybe an hour and a couple of times a day, and that might be because other than those couple of hours a day I'm usually busy at the gym,work or with friends.
It's been 5 months since I had my first panic attack and first ever symptom of anxiety, 2 of those months were hell, one was w.e, and the last two have been very good.
No medication, I wont go on any anyways but I'd just like some advise as to what it could be now. I just want all this to completely go away. I have a great family and so many great friends, sometimes when I'm getting excited about the weekend coming up and the big plans we have this sudden dark feeling comes over me and it kills my excitement - it's strange, it's like my former self and happiness is trying to come out, and for many days at a time I'm laughing and I am my old self, but then theres days where I'm like this.