winnwinn
05-19-2014, 01:41 PM
Life is just so full of stress for me right now. I am a high-risk pregnancy on bed rest with a 6 year old to take care of and somehow I still have to find a way to get all the needful things done such as cooking, cleaning, paying bills, running errands, etc. I’ve been in online college since 2011 but with my pregnancy complications, I have needed to take a leave of absence for the last 2 months. Now that my LOA is over, I am expected back in class, but the stress of it seems impossible to even think about, much less DO. The school isn’t that great, the work is too much, the instructors are rude and they don’t offer the degree program that interests me. Even if I were to press on and graduate, I don’t think I’d get a job in the area which I have a degree because it does not interest me in the slightest. I have about 5 major health issues that have worsened during pregnancy (contributing to my need for bed rest) and I am supposed to eliminate any and all stress for both the unborn baby and my own health. I would extend my leave of absence but I have already been out of school for so many weeks now that they will not permit another extension. I must either start these courses today and see them through to the end (which may or may not last past my due date) or I begin the paper work to officially leave the university for good. If I leave, I will have to start paying off loans right away within’ the next 60 days, vs if I stay in school and graduate (racking up even more debt, but not needing to start making payment until 6 months after I graduate.) No option seems ideal for me, and I feel severely trapped. I do not feel I can do this (going back right now) and If I do, my work is going to seriously lack drive, intelligence, passion and pretty much everything else you can think of. All of this is giving me horrible anxiety, preventing me from sleeping, and needing to make a decision on something this important has me left without any direction or idea what to do. I started collage for my 6 year old, and would be continuing it for her and the unborn child, but it is at the cost of me doing something I not only don’t LIKE, but I HATE, and contributing to making both my high risk pregnancy and current health problems a whole lot worse. I don’t want my children growing up thinking it is okay to just quit things you have committed to, but I also don’t want them to even feel obligated to take their life in a direction that makes them miserable or unhappy. Thoughts, suggestions, and advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.