New to the forum, looking for support

[Mishko]

I wanted to find a forum where I could post about my anxiety issues that was populated enough that I wouldn't then feel ignored, and this seems to be the place (hopefully!).

I've been dealing with anxiety for many years, went through a bad bout of depression many years ago after a long-term relationship ended (not by choice). I deal with irrational guilt, putting too much pressure on myself, obsessive thinking, etc., among the myriad feelings that I deal with. I'm seeing a therapist, reading books, etc., but I also think talking more than just once a week helps me, hence, I've registered here.

Currently, I'm dealing with raising a new child (almost seven weeks old), which has made my anxiety spike. I was okay for the first six weeks and then a panic attack hit me last Friday morning. It was horrendous. Over the weekend I've been trying to cope as best I can and I made it to Monday. I'm thinking of going on medication (I was taking Lexapro after the break-up that I mentioned above), but I'd like to avoid it if possible.

I know things will get better at home as my child grows and is better able to deal with what's happening in his little body, which will in turn help me cope with him better, too.

Please let me know someone is out there, and maybe dealing with, or dealt with, the difficulty in coping with a newborn, although it doesn't need to be this specific. I have anxiety issues with almost anything in my daily life (i.e. which way to get to work, the dread of making dinner in the evening, etc.).

I will check out the rest of the site and try to stay active so I can get through this. I know all parents say it gets better, but in the heat of the moment it's the worst feeling right now.

Mishko

[Fourteen14]

Hi Mishko

Welcome to the forum.

I wanted to bump your thread up the line to encourage the parents/new parents to see your post.

Wishing you well :)

[Dahila]

Mishko welcome to the forum and congratulation on your newborn:))

[Mishko]

Thank you for the hospitality.

[needtogetwell]

Hello Mishko,

Welcome and congratulations!

Having a newborn in the house was about 15 years ago for me, but I do remember thinking I was the most anxious and nervous mother ever.

Everything turned out ok, and it will for you too. Just take one day at a time and try to sleep as much as possible.

Again, welcome.
Pam

[needtogetwell]

One other thing. Keep in mind that your hormones are way out of wack and it will take some time for them to balance out again.

Knowing that can sometimes help you cope. Let your hormones get back to normal then reconsider the medication issue.

It's going to be ok.

[petrified]

Hi mishko and welcome to the forum :-)

I'm a mother and did suffer a little from post natal depression after I had my son. It took me a little while to bond properly with him. But I think all parents find the first few months a struggle. That day you bring them home from the hospital has to be the scariest ever.

Perhaps it's taken these feelings a little longer for you doing it all alone. You sound like you are doing an amazing job though :-)

Congratulations and again welcome :-)

This forum has some amazing people here with great advice :-)

Hannah

[petrified]

Pam is spot on though, it's been ten years since mine was a newborn but yeah it took ages for my hormones to settle down to normal.

I really does get easier and being a parent is the most rewarding thing in the world :-)

[JohnC]

Hi mishko, welcome to the forum.
I am a little older but have three kids the youngest is 8 and the oldest 13. Boy, i wish someone would of told me how stressful having kids can be. I must have missed that class in school. I CAN NOT IMAGINE RAISING THEM BY MYSELF
My first born was a premie ( wife did not smoke, drink or do drugs ) she was 3.2 pounds when born. I had my wife at the doctors earlier that day for pain but he said it was a urinary tract infection and sent us home. 6 hours later i found my wife balled up on the bed in extreme pain. If it wasn't for my sister being a doctor she may not have made it. She told me take her straight up to the maternity ward don't stop and don't wait on ambulance, so i did. within 20 mins. a helicopter was landing and my little girl was flown away to a bigger city hospital.
Thats was the start of my severe anxiety / panic attacks ( always had anxiety but not like now ).
I guess what i am trying to say is heck yes you're gonna have a little anxiety your doing a two person job ( thats the way i feel and NO OFFENCE to all single mothers, in fact you have my utmost respect ).
Hang in there and anyway i can help i will and i am sure the folks here will help, there great.

[Mishko]

Thanks for all the kind words of support. They're very appreciated.

As a clarification since I didn't give any bio information, I'm the dad, and my wife is dealing much better than I am, but she's also a much more grounded, non-anxious person than I am. It seems nothing can faze her. I'm lucky to have her, but can only get so much support from her since she's concentrating her energy on our son. She's still been a huge support for me.

Thank you all.

[EBA]

I completely understand. 4 months ago I had our precious baby boy and I definitely was not myself for a good 2 weeks after coming home. It's definitely an adjustment being a new parent but it's so fun to watch them grow and develop their little personalities. When I was feeling anxious, I had to stop and think to myself, " okay he is only going to be this young once, enjoy each second you have." Best wishes to you and your new family.