snowberry
05-16-2014, 05:49 PM
So there's a couple of things I have figured out recently. I've started doing CBT and meditation alone (i.e without a therapist). This has greatly improved my life in the last few weeks, but around about now my menstrual cycle is beginning (as in, the egg is being released, so about a week and a half before my actual period) and I narrowly avoided a panic attack this evening. I have known for a while that about 85% of my anxiety issues are to do with my menstrual cycle. For about two weeks I feel relatively normal, then the hormones kick in and everything goes to shit. Ever since I was 11 I have suffered because of this crap. I don't even want kids, would you believe it.
So, the panic attack this evening was to do with fear of going to A&E (or the ER as you call it in North America). I went last August because of a terrible panic attack that I thought was a serious illness and I was going to die (I'd never had a PA before, so I didn't know any better). I had to go again earlier this year because I suspected I was having an asthma attack (don't actually have asthma) and my stupid GPs office is closed all weekend (it was a Saturday). Both times left me mentally frail for several weeks, utterly dejected and depressed. Thinking about not being able to go to a GP and having to go to A&E causes me to feel panicky...but it only really happens during my menstrual cycle!
I'm guessing, then, that it's almost a kind of ptsd from last year combined with crazy menstrual hormones that causes me to have panic. Because for the last two weeks I've been great, what with the CBT and meditation, and it's only tonight that I felt this panic out of nowhere.
There's nothing I can do about the menstrual hormones now (I'll seek medication from the doc once my studies are finished in June), but I've written down some helpful stuff for myself regarding the 'ptsd'. I found a leaflet at my GPs about the nearest walk in centre, which is open 365 days a year so unless I'm obviously dying there's no need to go to A&E. I also wrote a long paragraph to myself about remembering that panic and anxiety can cause all sorts of horrible physical feelings that feel like illness but will go away if you remain calm. It's really difficult to be logical/reason with yourself when the problem is being exacerbated by a hormone imbalance or whatever the fuck went wrong in my brain when I started puberty, but I know that I have to do my best to control this.
In a way it makes me feel like I can finally get a grip on this crap. I can't wait to get medication to deal with my stupid hormones.
Has anxiety/panic got you soul searching? Do you feel that you physically need meds to correct an imbalance or do you think your problem is solely psychological? I feel I'm a mix of the two but it'd be interesting to see how many of us go one way or the other. Also ladies, are you on anti-anxiety meds as a result of your menstrual cycle? What is it like and how effective is it? Are you going to be on it long term?
Thanks for reading :)
So, the panic attack this evening was to do with fear of going to A&E (or the ER as you call it in North America). I went last August because of a terrible panic attack that I thought was a serious illness and I was going to die (I'd never had a PA before, so I didn't know any better). I had to go again earlier this year because I suspected I was having an asthma attack (don't actually have asthma) and my stupid GPs office is closed all weekend (it was a Saturday). Both times left me mentally frail for several weeks, utterly dejected and depressed. Thinking about not being able to go to a GP and having to go to A&E causes me to feel panicky...but it only really happens during my menstrual cycle!
I'm guessing, then, that it's almost a kind of ptsd from last year combined with crazy menstrual hormones that causes me to have panic. Because for the last two weeks I've been great, what with the CBT and meditation, and it's only tonight that I felt this panic out of nowhere.
There's nothing I can do about the menstrual hormones now (I'll seek medication from the doc once my studies are finished in June), but I've written down some helpful stuff for myself regarding the 'ptsd'. I found a leaflet at my GPs about the nearest walk in centre, which is open 365 days a year so unless I'm obviously dying there's no need to go to A&E. I also wrote a long paragraph to myself about remembering that panic and anxiety can cause all sorts of horrible physical feelings that feel like illness but will go away if you remain calm. It's really difficult to be logical/reason with yourself when the problem is being exacerbated by a hormone imbalance or whatever the fuck went wrong in my brain when I started puberty, but I know that I have to do my best to control this.
In a way it makes me feel like I can finally get a grip on this crap. I can't wait to get medication to deal with my stupid hormones.
Has anxiety/panic got you soul searching? Do you feel that you physically need meds to correct an imbalance or do you think your problem is solely psychological? I feel I'm a mix of the two but it'd be interesting to see how many of us go one way or the other. Also ladies, are you on anti-anxiety meds as a result of your menstrual cycle? What is it like and how effective is it? Are you going to be on it long term?
Thanks for reading :)