Mockingbird
05-12-2014, 06:42 PM
I hurt someone, unintentionally, and cut ties because the relationship was toxic. We tried working things out but it just wasn't a healthy friendship at all.
It got to the point that I only kept the relationship because of guilt and fear. Ending the relationship and cutting all ties were really, really scary for me but necessary.
This person has no history of violence but I'm still scared. It's been two and a half weeks since we've communicated at all. They haven't tried to show up at my house or work but my brain keeps coming up with insane scenarios that keep me up at night because I make them so real in my head. I even had a dream that they burned my house down.
My counselor said that usually the most volatile time of cutting ties with someone is usually the first few hours to the first few days. Everyone says that I'll be OK. That the worst is over over, and I need to move on but I'm still frozen in fear. Whenever I see their vehicle, I panic. Whenever I go out, I look for his vehicle in the parking lot because I don't want him to confront me.
I don't know why I'm turning this person into a monster in my head, someone who would hurt me or my loved ones. He is a bit abusive emotionally and is manipulative but again, he's never physically hurt anyone.
There's really no reason for this constant anxiety but I can't seem to let go of the irrationality.
I don't know why or how I've become so cowardly. I usually get over things after a few days...but I'm just not handling this situation well mentally.
It got to the point that I only kept the relationship because of guilt and fear. Ending the relationship and cutting all ties were really, really scary for me but necessary.
This person has no history of violence but I'm still scared. It's been two and a half weeks since we've communicated at all. They haven't tried to show up at my house or work but my brain keeps coming up with insane scenarios that keep me up at night because I make them so real in my head. I even had a dream that they burned my house down.
My counselor said that usually the most volatile time of cutting ties with someone is usually the first few hours to the first few days. Everyone says that I'll be OK. That the worst is over over, and I need to move on but I'm still frozen in fear. Whenever I see their vehicle, I panic. Whenever I go out, I look for his vehicle in the parking lot because I don't want him to confront me.
I don't know why I'm turning this person into a monster in my head, someone who would hurt me or my loved ones. He is a bit abusive emotionally and is manipulative but again, he's never physically hurt anyone.
There's really no reason for this constant anxiety but I can't seem to let go of the irrationality.
I don't know why or how I've become so cowardly. I usually get over things after a few days...but I'm just not handling this situation well mentally.