looking for help

[olivia4514]

Hey, I'm posting yet another thread again, this time in the Depression Forum.
The reason is , because my anxiety and my OCD left me so depressed it's ridiculous. Some days are really good though, like I could travel the entire world on the back of a unicorn. But then there are those days when I barely get out of my bed and I cry a fucking ocean. So maybe I'm bipolar too, whatever I don't give a fuck.
My biggest problem is, that no matter what I do, I can not fill in the emptiness inside. This empty feeling is always there even when I'm having one of the good days. On those days it's not that bad but when I go to sleep it's there full-blown again. I know that when one is empty like this, they barely even feel the love others give them and HOPE is just an empty word. And when there is no hope and no love then people lose their reason to want to be alive. I don't want to die, not yet. I just really do not ever want to stoop that low. I'm trying to somehow cope with this but I have no idea what to do. There's no fucking way I'm giving in though, I'm not gonna be the one who got to her knees because the weight of the world got her there. So I'm looking everywhere to find something that would turn the lights on again.
So any advice or anything , please ? :(

[Bhargav Sanketi]

Hey Olivia4514,

Calm down. It is perfectly normal how you feel. Come to terms with your condition and situation. If you feel like you are going to have an attack, calm down. If you worry about your attacks hurting you, it will only accentuate it. Sit down if possible and breathe. You have been through this before and you know the worst it can do. You know that you can take it. Affirm yourself that you are alright. A sense of optimism goes a long way. The more you think about anxiety, the more it will affect you. You could always talk to someone on healtheminds.

Cheers from India!

[sidous47]

Hi there! I just want to start off by saying that you are not alone in your feelings. I've had anxiety and depression for as long as I could form memories. My mother was severely bipolar, and my father was...well, we'll use the term absent.

I'm seeing a therapist now to try and help with these things and she's given me a few tips on how to deal with depression that i'd like to share with you, and see if it helps you any. One of the ways that my depression comes (besides waking up and randomly feeling done with everything) is through my train of thought. Sometimes I let what I'm thinking about spiral into, "They probably hate me now, which is fine, I understand, I hate myself too. I'll just be alone.." Blah blah blah. When those thoughts start, as soon as I realize it's happening I just say the word, "Cancel". It makes me stop thinking what I was just thinking and lets me build my mood back up. Also I know what you mean when you say you don't feel hope. Every time I get in one of my moods, I feel like I'll just feel this way forever. But that isn't true! I'm sure that isn't much help, but try to reassure yourself of that. Sometimes depression is just a chemical imbalance that you can't control. With that being said, this isn't an excuse to not get up and try.

The next thing you can do is to MAKE YOURSELF get up. If you don't sleep while you're depressed, you become a little more sensitive to those 'feel good' neurotransmitters. The most important thing to remember is, it will run it's course. You will feel much better soon, just hold on a little longer :) I hope this helps! I wish you the best!