hello everyone

[daisydoo17]

Hi everyone. My name is Daisy and I am a 30 year old female. I will try to keep this condensed. I have been struggling with anxiety for as long as I can remember. I also suffer from depression, however, recently my anxiety has become much worse.
I ended up in the ER with heart palpitations (December 2013) They suggested I see cardiologist as all my testing was unremarkable. I had an echocardiogram (which came back fine) and she started me on metoprolol 25mg just to keep my heart rate regular/help with anxiety. I had several more episodes of the tachycardia, once at work. Most other times were at night (twice I was sleeping). I had been basically begging my PCP for something for anxiety. I even brought my fiance to my lastest appointment for support and another perspective, but I still got no where. I then saw a psychiatrist (Dr B) on April 18. She took me off the zoloft 150mg I had been on for at least 5+ years (from the PCP) and started me on prozac 10mg along with stelazine 2mg tabs. I called the cardiologist and asked if she wanted me to continue the metoprolol - she said it didnt really matter either way so I cut the 25mg in half and am going to phase that out eventually. I cut back on caffiene as well (not that I was drinking much - maybe a cup a day) I am also taking kariva, an oral birth control pill and Claritin D for allergy issues.
I experienced EXTREME fatigue after starting the prozac and stelazine. So bad that I was falling asleep driving to work in the morning, and at my desk. Once I fell asleep in the bathroom at work. My weekends were spent feeling extremely tired and sleeping off and on. I called Dr B and asked if I should cut back the dose, try it every other day, or just hang in there. I had been taking the Prozac in the morning (that was the sig on the rx) so she said to try it at night with the other meds. That didnt help either. I thought maybe it was the claritin d I had started to take (even though it was non drowsy) so I stopped that but nothing helped. The only other variable was the stelazine. I hated to do it, because anxiety was my main reason I went to Dr B, but I stopped it (I had a follow up appointment two days later so I didnt notify her) The difference was IMMEDIATE. At my follow up appointment, I told her my reaction and that I could not take the stelazine. She prescribed me klonopin .5mg q HS and in the AM as needed. That was last Friday. I had slight anxiety that Friday but nothing to write home about. Yesterday I began having anxiety on my way home from work. My left neck/arm area started to hurt and I was convinced I was having a heart attack, which then prompted an anxiety attack. I took half a klonopin (I was afraid I was going to get snowed if I took a whole .5mg) and that seemed to help. I got emotional to my fiance when I got home (I dont want to live like this forever; how can I ever be a mother if I have this problem; why do you even want to marry someone like me; etc) I took the other half at bed time. This morning I woke up feeling decent but when I got to work the anxious feeling was back. I took another 1/2 of the klonopin and it has seemed to help but some of the symptoms are still there.
My next follow up appointment isnt until May 23 and I feel like my symptoms are mostly under control and I dont need to call to up the appointment. The feeling of being out of control and depersonalized and the obvious irrational feeling that I am going to die is just terrible. I decided to check and see if there were any forums out there to get some support because although my fiance and my friends try to be supportive, they don't understand what I'm going through. The only person who does is my dad, who also suffers from anxiety. (then I make myself sick thinking about how will I survive when my dad is gone, even though he's only 63) Ah I'm a mess! I speak with the counselor at work if not daily, most days. I journal. I do the whole "power of positive thinking" stuff. I go to yoga. I exercise. I drink water, I dont do drugs or drink (hardly, maybe a glass of wine here and there) I dont know what else to do or if I should give the klonopin more time. Sigh. Thank you for reading and nice to "meet" you all![/FONT]

[jessed03]

Hey Daisy Doo - with the different font.

Welcome to the site!

You had almost the exact same reaction I did to the meds you were on. I remember getting so weak on Prozac the first time I took it, that I couldn't stand up.

Just that part of the end of your post. So true. So symptomatic of anxiety. So sad.

If you experience times when everything runs away without, I just wanna say; With practice, there does come a realisation that what you're suffering from is anxiety. You get practiced at talking yourself down during those horrible times when the mind or the panic races away. A panic attack is such an intense feeling, that whether or not you're scared of it, you still want to just run away, as it disturbs you.

I hadn't had a panic attack for a couple of years, but I recently had one after a reaction to a prescription. It freaked me out, I felt so so so bad. I forgot how it felt. Then it sort of dawned on me what was happening. I was pacing around my house thinking WTF this is HORRIBLE!!.. But then I realized (and I don't mean told myself, or reminded myself, but actually realized) that what I was suffering from so badly in that moment was merely a little adrenaline, and it would pass soon. Infact it had to pass. My goal became to ensure nothing in my mind made it worse and to just let it pass. So I did that.

THIS FEELS SO AWFUL - no reaction...

WHAT IF YOU GO MAD AND LOSE IT!! - no reaction...

WHAT IF YOU FAINT, THE ROOM IS SPINNING- no reaction...


Wanted no part in any of that. I was happy to let this vicious whirlwind of an experience batter me to shit... But it WAS gonna pass, and as soon as that realization clicked again after hers of. Sing out of the game, I knew I had to do nothing else other than just let it. I had to suck it up as a necessary suffering, like going to the dentist.

And I did just that, I let it pass, and continued on with my day, albeit a tad shakes. I haven't had another since. Mainly cos I don't give a shit if I have another one. I'll lie down, or look out the window, or go to the bathroom, and I'll count down from 300, and when I get to zero it will be gone.

I'm not saying that to be all like hey look at jessed03 he's so awesome ;)... I'm just saying it because I do believe it's something people can learn... I believe people need to undergo perspective changes to get over anxiety a lot of the time.

Only, it's quite hard to do that. and takes a lot of practice and effort. I went on a LOT of wild goose chases before I found cognitive and behavioural strategies that were able to help me.

I just wrote down everything that was in my mind one day, and realized how much negative fearful bullshit was in there, and felt very very strongly that I didn't want to do any of that anymore.

It wasn't even really positive thinking, I think something just clicked in my head.

The same way when you figure out a math puzzle finally, it just clicks.

If your mind can talk you up, it can also talk you down too, ya know? When you can just find that shred of rationality in there during a period of anxiety, you can hold onto that. You can cling to it, you can nurture it. You can water it. After time it grows bigger. Big enough to fend off panic attacks. It's just important to find it, when you've found it, cling to it. Cling to it as though your life depended on it. Don't let the tidal wave that is a panic attack separate you from it as it hits you.

Having a community of people to help you is so important. I would never have improved a bit if it wasnt for some great people. I hope you stay here. A lot of people have each other's back here. It's not one vs anxiety anymore it's lots vs anxiety.

I always think it's kind of a good sign when people believe they're sick during an attack. It kinda means they have something to work on. It means triggers of their condition can be pinpointed and understood. Their amygdala can be soothed.

Some people seem to be in a great place in life, very knowledgable, and yet still have anxiety. That seems a hard place to be. In the past I used to feel relief when I'd had a panic attack because of bad sleep or bad thinking. It meant at least I could do something about them in future.

So yeah, do stick around! Chat in some threads. It gets a tad quiet as summer approaches, but it's all good. Support and a different perspective can do the world of good.

It was nice to "meet" you too Daisy. But in future, don't put the meet in quotations marks. You know more of my story than most people I've ever met in real life do. So to me we just met in here. For real. :)

Be well!

[daisydoo17]

Thanks for your reply.
<<But then I realized (and I don't mean told myself, or reminded myself, but actually realized) that what I was suffering from so badly in that moment was merely a little adrenaline, and it would pass soon. Infact it had to pass. My goal became to ensure nothing in my mind made it worse and to just let it pass. So I did that.>> I agree completely. My new mantra is "I am happy, I am healthy, I am FREE" I find that I need to keep my mind busy with other thoughts. Although I have not had a full fledged anxiety attack lately. It more comes in little waves. I wish it would come in just one attack and get it over with. Geeze!
<<I had to suck it up as a necessary suffering, like going to the dentist.>> exactly! Too bad dentists visits are usually scheduled and you know you only have to go a few times a year. But yes, like dentists or any uncomfortable doctor visits........ they will pass, and you WILL be ok.
<<Only, it's quite hard to do that. and takes a lot of practice and effort. I went on a LOT of wild goose chases before I found cognitive and behavioural strategies that were able to help me.>> this is were I am not. I am seeing a psychiatrist and on medications by my symptoms are just seeming to get worse. I am healthy, I am happy, I am FREE.
<<If your mind can talk you up, it can also talk you down too, ya know?>> YES! So perfect! I must remember this, although I think it's much harder for me to talk myself down. I need to work on it for sure.
<<Some people seem to be in a great place in life, very knowledgable, and yet still have anxiety. That seems a hard place to be.>> I am also here......... I have a great family. I have great friends. A great fiance. We are planning a wedding. Out of nowhere this crap just comes up and it's ruining my life. Like I said I exercise. I yoga. I sniff essential oils. I drink water. WTF!