raggamuffin
05-08-2014, 04:24 AM
The old anxiety favourite. Why is it always biased to the left side? When I first went to Dr with these anxiety pains, at a time when I was convinced I was dying he asked if they felt surface/muscular or a deeper pain. Sometimes I must admit I find it hard to tell.
Past few days getting left side pain. Feels somewhat new, after 4 years of daily pains it's hard to tell what is new but this feels scary. Around left nipple area, pain feels kinda deep. left arm pains too. Hard to rationalize that it's not heart related. But obviously a heart attack 9 times out of 10 is going to be so pronounced there'd be no doubt. Can't really relax, i'm at work but already taken two time outs to try and calm down, wasting 25 mins of office time in trying to calm myself down and only been here 2 hours.
It's hard to remind yourself you'll be ok when you get pains every hour of every day anywhere in the upper body. CBT taught me that I can't fear or worry or the anxiety continues to be fed by these negative emotions. i can't respond to pains and symptoms with emotions. I have to remind myself i'm not in danger, remind myself it's not anything physical like a heart attack or a hidden disease. I keep trying to rationalize things but when something that feels "new" comes along it throws me off guard. I try to tell myself "you're not in danger" but in reality my initial reaction is that I get scared and feel like i'm slipping into bad habits which just makes everything worse. I try to get back to focusing on breathing, keeping busy at work to draw attention away from it and just accept that it is what it is. But there's still worry in the mix.
It feels like a lack of self control and with that anxiety will continue regardless because I can't full accept or rationalize the pains and situations. Therapist said right from the beginning that unless I fully accept all the pains and sensations are from anxiety then the therapy would be useless, she woiuldn't be able to start CBT proper untli I accepted it. So I felt forced into this belief system and it didn't feel right. With constant practice I was told I could subdue andxiety but the word "cure" was never once used. It seems more like a maintanence system. I got the Linden Method and his idea is to basically ignore anxiety entirely, avoid Dr's and coping mechanisms and practice meditation. CBT is somewhat similar in the notion of ignoring the anxiety and not responding with emotions.
But you can feel so good in therapy and when you leave, pains can return, emotions return, things you learnt seem to be pushed back and the pains and negativity is pushed to the forefront. It feels like a constant push and pull of thoughts and feelings. I guess many people with anxiety and depression have minds that feel like they're working overtime. Stress is a big factor in our lives and it's something that has to be reduced and in turn you reduce your anxiety and depression and fears and worries. But all this theory, all these logical ways to subdue anxiety, how much use is that when you're living day to day in an irrational state of mind. When the real world and rational ways of thinking are alien to you. When, no matter how often you practice rationalizing these symptoms, they still come, years after you've done CBT?
To rationalize my chest pains I look at who I am and what i've done in the past 4 years of having daily anxiety pains. So I'm 27 and had multiple ecg's. Had the Dr listen through a stethoscope whilst I deep breath five or six times, chest xrays etc. Always coming back fine and always told it's anxiety. I remind mysel fthat I'd know if this was a heart attack and if it was heart related i'd not be able to be as active as I was as you'd be severely limited if your heart wasn't firing on all cylinders. So I know all this, I remind myself of this and try to get on with my day to day. But still the pains will continue. Often when one pain goes another one comes along, and try as you might to rationalize and ignore it, because it's new, your brain does fixate on this pain. The previous one is on the backburner or disappears entirely until a new pain replaces the current one and round and round it goes.
My first panic attack was sensation based, pins and needles, surge of adrenaline, racing heart and struggling to breathe with severe disorientation. Second panic attackers identical in symptoms but with one addition - chest pain. My dad is a heart attack survivor and so I Wentnor them when I had this attack. Unlike the first it lasted over an hour. Since then anxiety took hold. Didn't feel safe in my own body, worrying and fretting and hourly pains.
I wonder if the stress and trauma of that attack has caused the majority of my chest pains to be focused on the left side. Along with left arm pains etc. My body got so amped up in convincing myself that second panic attack was heart related that since then my mind and body are irrationally convincing myself that my heart is messed up.
Ed
Past few days getting left side pain. Feels somewhat new, after 4 years of daily pains it's hard to tell what is new but this feels scary. Around left nipple area, pain feels kinda deep. left arm pains too. Hard to rationalize that it's not heart related. But obviously a heart attack 9 times out of 10 is going to be so pronounced there'd be no doubt. Can't really relax, i'm at work but already taken two time outs to try and calm down, wasting 25 mins of office time in trying to calm myself down and only been here 2 hours.
It's hard to remind yourself you'll be ok when you get pains every hour of every day anywhere in the upper body. CBT taught me that I can't fear or worry or the anxiety continues to be fed by these negative emotions. i can't respond to pains and symptoms with emotions. I have to remind myself i'm not in danger, remind myself it's not anything physical like a heart attack or a hidden disease. I keep trying to rationalize things but when something that feels "new" comes along it throws me off guard. I try to tell myself "you're not in danger" but in reality my initial reaction is that I get scared and feel like i'm slipping into bad habits which just makes everything worse. I try to get back to focusing on breathing, keeping busy at work to draw attention away from it and just accept that it is what it is. But there's still worry in the mix.
It feels like a lack of self control and with that anxiety will continue regardless because I can't full accept or rationalize the pains and situations. Therapist said right from the beginning that unless I fully accept all the pains and sensations are from anxiety then the therapy would be useless, she woiuldn't be able to start CBT proper untli I accepted it. So I felt forced into this belief system and it didn't feel right. With constant practice I was told I could subdue andxiety but the word "cure" was never once used. It seems more like a maintanence system. I got the Linden Method and his idea is to basically ignore anxiety entirely, avoid Dr's and coping mechanisms and practice meditation. CBT is somewhat similar in the notion of ignoring the anxiety and not responding with emotions.
But you can feel so good in therapy and when you leave, pains can return, emotions return, things you learnt seem to be pushed back and the pains and negativity is pushed to the forefront. It feels like a constant push and pull of thoughts and feelings. I guess many people with anxiety and depression have minds that feel like they're working overtime. Stress is a big factor in our lives and it's something that has to be reduced and in turn you reduce your anxiety and depression and fears and worries. But all this theory, all these logical ways to subdue anxiety, how much use is that when you're living day to day in an irrational state of mind. When the real world and rational ways of thinking are alien to you. When, no matter how often you practice rationalizing these symptoms, they still come, years after you've done CBT?
To rationalize my chest pains I look at who I am and what i've done in the past 4 years of having daily anxiety pains. So I'm 27 and had multiple ecg's. Had the Dr listen through a stethoscope whilst I deep breath five or six times, chest xrays etc. Always coming back fine and always told it's anxiety. I remind mysel fthat I'd know if this was a heart attack and if it was heart related i'd not be able to be as active as I was as you'd be severely limited if your heart wasn't firing on all cylinders. So I know all this, I remind myself of this and try to get on with my day to day. But still the pains will continue. Often when one pain goes another one comes along, and try as you might to rationalize and ignore it, because it's new, your brain does fixate on this pain. The previous one is on the backburner or disappears entirely until a new pain replaces the current one and round and round it goes.
My first panic attack was sensation based, pins and needles, surge of adrenaline, racing heart and struggling to breathe with severe disorientation. Second panic attackers identical in symptoms but with one addition - chest pain. My dad is a heart attack survivor and so I Wentnor them when I had this attack. Unlike the first it lasted over an hour. Since then anxiety took hold. Didn't feel safe in my own body, worrying and fretting and hourly pains.
I wonder if the stress and trauma of that attack has caused the majority of my chest pains to be focused on the left side. Along with left arm pains etc. My body got so amped up in convincing myself that second panic attack was heart related that since then my mind and body are irrationally convincing myself that my heart is messed up.
Ed