jellywhirl
05-03-2014, 07:21 AM
My family has a history of anxiety, depression, and PMDD. Things have gotten so much worse for me now. I am 19 years old, I have agoraphobia with panic disorder, chronic anxiety, and depression. I don't work, and I don't go to school, I haven't even learned how to drive, yet! I thought taking a year off would help my anxieties... but it's only made it worse..!
Sometimes I dont leave the house for days, weeks even.. Sometimes I think the house makes me crazy.. always paranoid and jittery.
Last month was a complete doozy. About two weeks before my menstrual cycle, something in me just snapped. I couldn't function.. I was pacing the floor, constantly crying, shaking, rocking myself.. I couldn't eat, and when I did eat, I couldn't keep anything down. I couldn't sleep and when I did sleep, it was irregular and interrupted.. I woke up every hour! Those intense feelings went away after a few days of bleeding, but I am still not 100% myself..
sleeping is still hard for me unless I take 1mg of Lorazepam before bed because otherwise, I get too anxious and twitch and gasp myself awake.
I can't concentrate on anything, I try reading stuff, but the letters just become "jumbled" and "foggy" and sometimes I seem too lost in my thoughts to even pay attention to my surroundings and live in the now.
And even when i try to watch a relaxing or distracting show, I just think, "Who cares? Who freaking cares?" It's like... all my passion disappeared after that menstrual episode.
I started taking 50mgs of zoloft about a month ago and I'm still waiting for it to kick in..
But I want to know.. can I overcome this? Has anyone else been stuck in a mental hole like this? Please, will I be okay?
Sometimes I dont leave the house for days, weeks even.. Sometimes I think the house makes me crazy.. always paranoid and jittery.
Last month was a complete doozy. About two weeks before my menstrual cycle, something in me just snapped. I couldn't function.. I was pacing the floor, constantly crying, shaking, rocking myself.. I couldn't eat, and when I did eat, I couldn't keep anything down. I couldn't sleep and when I did sleep, it was irregular and interrupted.. I woke up every hour! Those intense feelings went away after a few days of bleeding, but I am still not 100% myself..
sleeping is still hard for me unless I take 1mg of Lorazepam before bed because otherwise, I get too anxious and twitch and gasp myself awake.
I can't concentrate on anything, I try reading stuff, but the letters just become "jumbled" and "foggy" and sometimes I seem too lost in my thoughts to even pay attention to my surroundings and live in the now.
And even when i try to watch a relaxing or distracting show, I just think, "Who cares? Who freaking cares?" It's like... all my passion disappeared after that menstrual episode.
I started taking 50mgs of zoloft about a month ago and I'm still waiting for it to kick in..
But I want to know.. can I overcome this? Has anyone else been stuck in a mental hole like this? Please, will I be okay?