Art1986
04-30-2014, 10:43 AM
Hello Everyone,
I’m posting this because I really need some feedback from other people to know if anyone has had a similar experience or if I am just completely crazy. I’ll start by saying I have anxiety, I have dealt with it for over a decade and about ten years ago took citalopram (10mg) for about a year. I then got off it, still had anxiety but was able to manage.
Last September I decided to go to the doctor because my anxiety was holding me back from going places by myself. I could go certain places but not others. I also found out my Dad had cancer and it just seemed like my anxiousness was increasing. So the dr. prescribed me Zoloft 50mg. I only took one.
The day I took it I started feeling sleepy (I took it in the morning). I have a young child and when I laid her down for her nap I laid down too. After she woke up I was reading her a story, felt very disoriented and then started to feel almost like I was full of rage. I set her down and I ran out of the house, leaving my daughter inside. Luckily my husband works from home and I went back inside grabbed my kid and walked out screaming for him. I felt like I could hurt someone or myself, I felt like I was having the biggest panic attack known to man, I felt shaky and scared, sweaty and cold. I called my doctor and she said to not take anymore (this was on a Friday) and she would prescribe me something else on Monday. I didn’t feel like myself for almost a week. I did wind up taking one Citaloprame but stopped because I think I was still feeling effects from the Zoloft (and I felt too scared to really continue on anything). After the first day and up to a few days after taking the citaloprame I felt almost numb, not like myself, and like I didn’t care if I was alive or not. I felt and still do feel that dealing with the anxiety I had pre Zoloft was a walk in the park compared to how I felt. I know people will say I didn’t give it a fair shake, that it needs to get into your system but I just couldn’t go through another second of feeling any of that.
I have dealt with my anxiety for a long time but never dealt with issues of feeling like I could hurt someone or myself. It scared the living day lights out of me! I’ve never had a bad reaction to meds before, never really taking much, never did drugs so I don’t know if this has become a big deal to me because I never felt like that before or what. But in the months that followed taking this pill I couldn’t believe that I could possibly ever have a horrible thought like that. I would lie awake at night fearing that I may feel like that again. Wondering if the pill somehow changed me. I became obsessive with my thoughts, fearing the worst possible scenario almost all of the time, and anytime I started to feel happy I would tell myself that I didn’t deserve to be happy because I had such crazy feelings and thoughts.
I love my family more than anything. Would do anything to keep them safe and well so how on earth could I have felt this way. And for the past six months I have battled with this internal worry that someday I could feel like that again. What if, what if, what if.
I guess what I am curious about is could I have ptsd from taking this pill? But bigger yet, am I alone or has someone else felt like this? I have felt like the worst person on the planted because of all of this and I feel like now I am trying to really work through it. Trying to feel better. My husband and Mom are the only ones I talk to about it. I have feared speaking to anyone else about this because I told myself that I am probably the only person in the world that has felt this way. My mom and husband assure me that there is nothing wrong with me and I just need to put it behind me. I feel like somedays I can get past it and then maybe the next I feel panicky and the first thought that runs into my head is “don’t lose your mind!” Its felt like a living hell at points. Sent me into feeling very dark and depressed, and I don’t want to feel this way. I have a beautiful child that I want to be here for, to enjoy life with.
So if anyone has felt like they have had a lasting effect from an experience with a med I would love to hear that I am not alone. I am fully aware that the Zoloft only altered my mind for a few days but I feel like the real damage is the mind game I have played on myself since then. Maybe some insight on how to get fully past this. I feel like I am closer to getting past it then ever before but somedays it still feels like a tough thing to deal with. Thanks for your time.
I’m posting this because I really need some feedback from other people to know if anyone has had a similar experience or if I am just completely crazy. I’ll start by saying I have anxiety, I have dealt with it for over a decade and about ten years ago took citalopram (10mg) for about a year. I then got off it, still had anxiety but was able to manage.
Last September I decided to go to the doctor because my anxiety was holding me back from going places by myself. I could go certain places but not others. I also found out my Dad had cancer and it just seemed like my anxiousness was increasing. So the dr. prescribed me Zoloft 50mg. I only took one.
The day I took it I started feeling sleepy (I took it in the morning). I have a young child and when I laid her down for her nap I laid down too. After she woke up I was reading her a story, felt very disoriented and then started to feel almost like I was full of rage. I set her down and I ran out of the house, leaving my daughter inside. Luckily my husband works from home and I went back inside grabbed my kid and walked out screaming for him. I felt like I could hurt someone or myself, I felt like I was having the biggest panic attack known to man, I felt shaky and scared, sweaty and cold. I called my doctor and she said to not take anymore (this was on a Friday) and she would prescribe me something else on Monday. I didn’t feel like myself for almost a week. I did wind up taking one Citaloprame but stopped because I think I was still feeling effects from the Zoloft (and I felt too scared to really continue on anything). After the first day and up to a few days after taking the citaloprame I felt almost numb, not like myself, and like I didn’t care if I was alive or not. I felt and still do feel that dealing with the anxiety I had pre Zoloft was a walk in the park compared to how I felt. I know people will say I didn’t give it a fair shake, that it needs to get into your system but I just couldn’t go through another second of feeling any of that.
I have dealt with my anxiety for a long time but never dealt with issues of feeling like I could hurt someone or myself. It scared the living day lights out of me! I’ve never had a bad reaction to meds before, never really taking much, never did drugs so I don’t know if this has become a big deal to me because I never felt like that before or what. But in the months that followed taking this pill I couldn’t believe that I could possibly ever have a horrible thought like that. I would lie awake at night fearing that I may feel like that again. Wondering if the pill somehow changed me. I became obsessive with my thoughts, fearing the worst possible scenario almost all of the time, and anytime I started to feel happy I would tell myself that I didn’t deserve to be happy because I had such crazy feelings and thoughts.
I love my family more than anything. Would do anything to keep them safe and well so how on earth could I have felt this way. And for the past six months I have battled with this internal worry that someday I could feel like that again. What if, what if, what if.
I guess what I am curious about is could I have ptsd from taking this pill? But bigger yet, am I alone or has someone else felt like this? I have felt like the worst person on the planted because of all of this and I feel like now I am trying to really work through it. Trying to feel better. My husband and Mom are the only ones I talk to about it. I have feared speaking to anyone else about this because I told myself that I am probably the only person in the world that has felt this way. My mom and husband assure me that there is nothing wrong with me and I just need to put it behind me. I feel like somedays I can get past it and then maybe the next I feel panicky and the first thought that runs into my head is “don’t lose your mind!” Its felt like a living hell at points. Sent me into feeling very dark and depressed, and I don’t want to feel this way. I have a beautiful child that I want to be here for, to enjoy life with.
So if anyone has felt like they have had a lasting effect from an experience with a med I would love to hear that I am not alone. I am fully aware that the Zoloft only altered my mind for a few days but I feel like the real damage is the mind game I have played on myself since then. Maybe some insight on how to get fully past this. I feel like I am closer to getting past it then ever before but somedays it still feels like a tough thing to deal with. Thanks for your time.