working.thru.the.pain
04-28-2014, 02:05 AM
For those of you who have had panic attacks before, I would imagine you would likely concur with me in saying I would rather cut out my left kidney with a plastic spoon and sew up the wound with barbed wire laced with swine flu, than ever experience a full blown panic attack again. Okay, maybe that is a bit outrageous, but it's not far from the truth. (needless to say, I should not watch movies from the "Saw" series anymore) Now when I say "full blown" panic attack, I mean on a scale of 1 to 10 of anxiety, you are at roughly 500, you don't even have the cognitive ability to acknowledge what the number 10 is. Out of the upwards of a 100 panic attacks that I've had in my life, I have been fortunate enough to only have suffered through about 5 or 6 that I would consider excruciating enough to surpass this level of sanity. However given the option of having one of these again or self surgically removing a kidney, I would say give me the fucking spoon.
In hopes of retaining my perceived sanity, let me explain.
I recently read an article (not from a credible source) claiming that someone with panic or anxiety disorder should simply stop worrying and you can magically feel better, and life will be full of butterflies and sunshine, anyone on this forum knows this couldn't be further from the truth. I have tried my absolute best to cease all worrisome thoughts, however, I have yet to see one fucking butterfly in the last several months. We all get a slap of reality at some point during the transformation from being a happy go lucky adolescent to being an adult. Whether it's financial struggles, rejection from jobs/members of the opposite sex, or roughly getting acquainted with the cruel hands of time.
For those of you who haven't experienced such an attack: during one of these unfortunate full blown attacks, you feel like you're going to die. You even start to believe it and try to come to terms with the fact that death feels imminent. It's quite a terrifying feeling. Worse yet, this emotional fear is accompanied by less than pleasant physical sensations. Your heart starts beating near it's maximum capacity, often not in rhythm, your breathing is more rapid than you ever thought possible, you lose sensation in much of your limbs, your vision becomes dim and often reduces to tunnel vision, your body starts trembling, and many more! One of the most challenging obstacles to overcome is the fact that the harder you try to fight these attacks off, the harder the attack will fight back.
Luckily, thanks to the help of so many awesome people, I have been able to watch my attacks subside. No matter what, there is hope, improvement can come, and happiness can be retained through any struggle or hardship you may encounter. Find your passion, your desires, your reasons for wanting to break free from your slump. YOU are the most powerful tool you have and YOU are the most effective one who can have enough willpower to make yourself work towards getting better. Which then makes you strong enough to ask for help from others when you desperately need it. Try to make someone smile today, especially if it's yourself, think about the numerous things in this world that there are to smile about.
In hopes of retaining my perceived sanity, let me explain.
I recently read an article (not from a credible source) claiming that someone with panic or anxiety disorder should simply stop worrying and you can magically feel better, and life will be full of butterflies and sunshine, anyone on this forum knows this couldn't be further from the truth. I have tried my absolute best to cease all worrisome thoughts, however, I have yet to see one fucking butterfly in the last several months. We all get a slap of reality at some point during the transformation from being a happy go lucky adolescent to being an adult. Whether it's financial struggles, rejection from jobs/members of the opposite sex, or roughly getting acquainted with the cruel hands of time.
For those of you who haven't experienced such an attack: during one of these unfortunate full blown attacks, you feel like you're going to die. You even start to believe it and try to come to terms with the fact that death feels imminent. It's quite a terrifying feeling. Worse yet, this emotional fear is accompanied by less than pleasant physical sensations. Your heart starts beating near it's maximum capacity, often not in rhythm, your breathing is more rapid than you ever thought possible, you lose sensation in much of your limbs, your vision becomes dim and often reduces to tunnel vision, your body starts trembling, and many more! One of the most challenging obstacles to overcome is the fact that the harder you try to fight these attacks off, the harder the attack will fight back.
Luckily, thanks to the help of so many awesome people, I have been able to watch my attacks subside. No matter what, there is hope, improvement can come, and happiness can be retained through any struggle or hardship you may encounter. Find your passion, your desires, your reasons for wanting to break free from your slump. YOU are the most powerful tool you have and YOU are the most effective one who can have enough willpower to make yourself work towards getting better. Which then makes you strong enough to ask for help from others when you desperately need it. Try to make someone smile today, especially if it's yourself, think about the numerous things in this world that there are to smile about.