annakatarinas
04-23-2014, 02:00 PM
Hi y'all. I have a problem. Ever since my psychologist/therapist/psychiatrist told me I don't suffer from agoraphobia, it's like I'm trying really hard to develop it (I've talked about this in another thread so I won't go to far in to this subject).
Anyways. This anxiety has made me afraid of certain social interactions, such as those with friends or people who are not my family. At the same time, I want to be a good and nice friend so I do not withdraw myself from social settings, but they are becoming a major issue. For instance I hosted a dinner with eight friends this New Years Eve. For about a week, I was completely stressed out about this, and I cried just hours before the guests arrived. Another example was yesterday, when I had this student party/dinner-thingy at school. Prior to the actual party where only people from our school and their friends were allowed, we had a dinner where we were randomly placed along with our families and then another person and their family. I was extremely nervous about this and freaked out completely by the thought that I could be placed with a family I didn't know too well.
So, I don't know. Just wanted to get this off my chest. I am tired of this social split; on the one hand I want to be alone, on the other I hate being lonely. And also, I kind of hate social settings, but I still want to live up to people's expectations.
Help.
Anyways. This anxiety has made me afraid of certain social interactions, such as those with friends or people who are not my family. At the same time, I want to be a good and nice friend so I do not withdraw myself from social settings, but they are becoming a major issue. For instance I hosted a dinner with eight friends this New Years Eve. For about a week, I was completely stressed out about this, and I cried just hours before the guests arrived. Another example was yesterday, when I had this student party/dinner-thingy at school. Prior to the actual party where only people from our school and their friends were allowed, we had a dinner where we were randomly placed along with our families and then another person and their family. I was extremely nervous about this and freaked out completely by the thought that I could be placed with a family I didn't know too well.
So, I don't know. Just wanted to get this off my chest. I am tired of this social split; on the one hand I want to be alone, on the other I hate being lonely. And also, I kind of hate social settings, but I still want to live up to people's expectations.
Help.