Work Place Bullying

[cyncyn]

Hi, it's been awhile since I posted on here, I've been doing relatively well but not as good as I would like. The reason I am posting is because I been at my current job for 1 year and find myself being bullied. This isn't the first time I've been bullied at work, I'm not comfortable with confrontation and tend to just quit when things get to be too uncomfortable, therefore never facing my bully(ies). The last time I quit because of this left me unemployed for 5 months and financially damaged. When I took my current position I had high hopes that this was a professional environment and bullying wouldn't be tolerated or even take place. Nothing could be further from the truth, it's a long drawn out story that I try to condense. I was hired by one head of the dept, who was ineffective at leading and said demeaning things to my coworkers and myself, he was replaced by someone I liked and thought would be a good leader, she had been the previous manager before him but had to step down due to personal reasons. My old boss constantly put this woman down behind her back, and she & I became close since we always closed together. She confided her frustrations in me that he was mean to her, etc.....Flash forward she is now my manager and she has done a complete about face. She has brought in her own people from other locations to work and is making it impossible for anyone she might perceive as liking the old manager to work. I never expected special treatment or more hours because we got along, I expected things to be fair. I expected the hours to be given by seniority, like it should and to be kept in the loop. She doesn't speak to me unless absolutely necessary, and has her favorites, that act as spies for her when she isn't at work. Under her leadership things have gone from bad to worse, coworkers are catty, gossiping and insecure due to our hours being cut, and witnessing her making people so miserable that they quit. I have reported her to the union three times, once for not following company policy, which they changed policy to protect her, then for not scheduling by company policy, and now find myself being retaliated against for this, so I was name in a incident report which I have no recollection of what I did wrong or how, and she won't give me further details. I even had a coworker step up and say she felt this incident was her fault, but my boss wouldn't hear of it. So now I have filed a formal complaint with HR under the advisement of the union. I also named two coworkers for gossiping about a fellow coworker in front of boss because she never told them to stop mocking the employee. I feel as though I work in a hostile work environment and told HR as such. I've been off since Thursday when I had my meeting and I'm nervous to walk into work today, in fact I'm panicking. I'm willing to bet she knows by now that I reported her and her cronies, and Im terrified of walking in there today

I hope this made some sense, has anyone else been through this??? How did you handle the stress, anxiety, stomach problems etc? I feel like I painted a giant bulls-eye on me to be forced out :( I want to call off today but I really need the money and due to my limited driving radius I can't just quit and find another job.

[Ritch]

I haven't experienced this particular problem before but I can offer my thoughts.

If the current work situation is becoming untenable then I would perhaps start looking for a new job, however do not walk away until you have secured employment somewhere else. I'm getting the impression you have tried going down all the available avenues to rectify the problem without having much luck. I honestly believe the worst thing you can possibly do is let the cow and her cronies know that they are getting to you. If they become aware that they are getting to you they will thrive on it. There is an old english saying that I think pretty much says what I want to say "Don't let the bastards grind you down". I know It sounds very easy, but I think this is what you have to do until you either change workplace or she disappears. In the meantime just try to do your job the best you can, they cannot fire you without a good reason so don't give them one.

Do not let these people make you walk away from your job, because it will cause more stress about your financial situation and they will just line up another victim behind you.

May I ask how you usually manage stress and anxiety? do you meditate, take medication or simply just try to tolerate it? as to the stomach issue if you are experiencing IBS symptoms a doctor may be able to prescribe you an IBS medication such as mebeverine.

[cyncyn]

Ritch
Thank you so much for your reply! I know you are right, I've done my home work on bullying since I left my last job because of it. I know my boss is insecure and to outward appearances, I appear stronger than I feel. That fake it until you make it mentality works for me sometimes. She has an agenda to surround herself with suck ups & systematically get rid of anyone she perceives as a threat or doesn't kiss her butt. I'm not a suck up, I want to do my job, collect my pay & have a life without work drama, I'm not there to make friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm polite and work to the best of my abilities but I have boundaries where I don't mix my work & personal life. I just want things done without sneaky write ups, back stabbing, and lying about hours scheduled.

My anxiety comes & goes, good days & bad days. I take klonopin twice daily, have for years, SSRI's don't seem to work on me. I've done cognitive behavior, Emotional freedom therapy, which help when I'm grounded, but I still can't drive further than a mile from my house w/o anxiety. I've had this for 25 years, I do horse back riding to relieve stress & clean stalls but can't drive to the barn by myself, it's about 12 minutes from my house. I'm blessed to have an understanding husband who realizes it's important for my mental health. I do see a counselor as well. I have Claire Weeks audios that I listen to when I need help. I'm not great at this a lot of days it's just a struggle to get out of bed, but I haven't given up yet:) just when I think it can't get worse I start to see it get better.