Hello. I have issues.

[Zena]

Hi everyone. I have suffered from social anxiety ever since I was a kid. I started getting bullied soon after I began elementary school. In middle school, the bullying continued, and got even worse. I was hit, my hair was pulled, kids called me names. I used to come home from school and cry. Sometimes I would just cry myself to sleep. Some days I hardly ate anything. I struggled with bulimia as well. I felt like a person as ugly and useless as me didn't deserve to live. I contemplated killing myself many times. I believe that my anxiety developed as a result of me being tormented by other kids. They made fun of me when I talked, so I became reticent. Whenever I did speak, I was fearful. My voice even shook. When I tried to befriend my peers, they teased me and made it crystal clear that they didn't want me around, so I learned to stay out of their way. I became so used to hiding that I grew terrified of being seen. In high school, things got a little easier, but I still got picked on by other students. To this day, I still struggle with anxiety, but I'm somewhat better at coping with it now. I'm very grateful for forums like this. It is nice to know that there are people out there who truly understand. Nice to meet you all.

[jessed03]

Hey Zena!

Nice to meet you.

Is it nice over there in your own little world? Any room for me to come hang out from time to time. I hope so

You're right, it's great to find places to share your experiences, and to learn. I think I could have cut a lot of my suffering down if I had understanding people around me, and if I'd have had people to help answer questions I had. Instead I remember taking every wrong road possible, and really going the long way through my condition. And it certainly wasn't the scenic route either :)

Are you a member of any other forums? If you've had social anxiety a while I'm guessing you've checked out the social anxiety forum? That's a pretty place too. Lot of good discussions going in there. I remember at some stage after finding these kinds of forums existed, I joined too. I joined this one, and a forum very specific towards certain OCD issues I was having. Made me feel I had a lot of bases covered.

Social anxiety really can make life so difficult. It's at least something that you're managing it a lot better now. I don't know if you're finding improvements with age. The more I progress through my 20s, the less self conscious I am.

Great to meet you anyway Zena. Stick around. I'm Jesse. You always have a friend here.

[needtogetwell]

Hi Zena,

Welcome. You really have found a good place here. We are always here to listen and offer whatever helpful suggestions we may have.

I just wanted to introduce myself, I'm Pam and I stop in here on quite a regular basis. I have found great help and ideas, along with hopefully helping a person or two.

Again welcome, we truly understand where you are coming from.

Cheers
Pam

[Ritch]

The ugly people are the ones that treated you like that, sometimes we humans are wretched things.

Welcome to the forum zena, make yourself at home :)

[JohnC]

Hi Zena, welcome to the forum. This is a really nice forum, good folks and I can't beleive that we live in the same place.

[Dahila]

Welcome to the forum Zana,
I am reading your post and it sound so familiar, I went through the same thing in elementary school. Nothing I did helped, I was very sick as a child and I had not develop any friendships in school.. Constant absence did not help. I could not run, not bike, I was getting asthma attacks which humiliated me somehow.
High school changed it all, I attended the fine art school with a lot of people , anxious people like me.
Bullies are awful cowards, I am not a child anymore, I am a grandmother of one, and I still remember the pain of being bullied.

I hope you will make awesome friends here, and in real life who will support you and be at your side.

[Zena]

Thank you all for being so warm and welcoming. It means a lot to me. :)