Divorce with agoraphobia

[rlucky73721]

After 18yrs together my wife decided she can't be married to me any longer. She says that I give her anxiety. I can't take her or the family on outings 1/2 the time lately I can't even driver her to work.
My problem is the house is my safe place. I'm terrified of living alone and her crafty grandfather tricked me into signing my rights to our old home together away when he helped us by a larger home for our 3 beautiful kids.
Has anyone here dealt with this type of issue that might be willing to give me some tips? Thanks in advance.

[GeneAllen]

I can tell you I was married 23 yrs and it threw me into a mess. Turned out lovely, and life is good. However it was frightening. I actually was free for once and so I did what I wanted, and that was a good ol'e time for me.

Peace

[rlucky73721]

Thanks man

[GeneAllen]

I know it is very difficult. I took my days in small increments. I actually cried a lot. It was like a death had occurred. This can be a time when you not only get past your divorce, but come to grips with your anxiety as well. I am a big guy, about 6'4 220 lbs and a construction worker. Well I thought I was, I found out I'm actually quite frightened, and the most important thing is it is OKAY! I'm much more than what I do, the false egoic sense of who I was and identifying with that macho shit was not getting me anywhere. I had to come face to face with myself, and the lies I had believed. There is always her story, his story and the truth in between. Removing blocks to seeing my value apart from what I did or didn't do was paramount. Once I accepted my pain, and surrendered to just being as I am, I felt a big relief. I joined a forum called divorcebusters, and was supported by others there. I joined with the intentions of saving my marriage single handed, and left with a new found enjoyment of my own company. Thinking we "need" another is a false idea, we may want someone but ultimately it's not in our control. Others have a freedom to do as they will. My ex did ask me two years later to come back, and as much as I enjoy her company, friendship I did not wish to do that anymore. In retrospect I think she did what I wanted to do. Thankfully she was the brave one. Great woman, mother, friend, but I was done as well. I became grateful for her and I's time together, and am thankful I came to a point where I could see what I had, and my thought was keep going forward, and I did.

Peace

[rlucky73721]

Wow. That is pretty encouraging. Thanks for sharing that. I really appreciate it.